Dark Matter Page #4

for the rest of his life.

Why don't you try being more practical?

Just find something that Reiser

will approve, and graduate first.

That doesn't sound like someone

who wants to cure AI DS.

My dissertation is on a molecule

invented by my professor ten years ago.

What a waste of brain cells.

And today, I welcome all of you here,

as one more child...

We have Buddhism, Taoism,

and Confucianism.

Why do they need Jesus?

Do you Laurence, and you Cindy, promise

to raise Noelle in the Christian faith,

and to be an active member of our church?

- We do.

Then through water and through Spirit,

I welcome you to the Christian faith,

to be one of God's own children.

In the name of the Father and the Son

and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Liu Xing!

- Yes?

We're having a party tonight.

You're welcome to come.

Yes. Thank you.

- Say "Uncle Liu Xing".

Feng Gang, congratulations.

All those years in school have paid off.

You've done well for yourself and

such a pretty wife from Shanghai too.

Now I have mouths to feed.

Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Goodbye.

I think she's faking it for our sake.

Sounds real to me.

She's trying to excite us.

A true female orgasm builds slowly.

Very slowly.

A true female orgasm

starts from the bottom of the throat.

it sounds like this.

Got it. I've got it. Ive got it!

I've got it! Major breakthrough! Old Wu!

Old Wu! I have a major breakthrough!

Little Square, Little Square!

Sorry. Little Square, Little Square!

- F*** off, I'm busy!

Come here.

Superstring theory predicts

shadow particles

that interact with ordinary matter

only through gravity.

This is a major breakthrough.

A major breakthrough!

Dark Matter solves

the problems of the Reiser Model.

Dark Matter.

Tell him that

it's against the Journal's Policy.

He'll, he's a bit of a bureaucrat.

Hell understand that kind of talk.

Right, so basically you want me

to do your dirty work for you.

Well

- No, it's fine.

Listen, there are two more things.

- Professor Reiser!

Listen, don't forget tonight, six o'clock.

At six o'clock is the reception.

Call your sister, it's her birthday,

You sent flowers.

Call her, please.

- I sent flowers? How nice of me.

Professor Reiser, huge breakthrough.

Huge breakthrough.

Huge breakthrough?

Huge breakthrough.

Huge breakthrough.

Yes, l, yes, I heard that.

Huge implications for cosmology.

You did this?

- Yes.

Can this be my dissertation?

What are you, out of your mind?

This is way over your head.

Way past your capabilities.

- But I already got a good result.

Liu Xing, let me explain something to you.

This is a marathon.

You cannot sprint all the way. All right?

Pick something simpler,

and then build on that.

You're going to have to learn that you

have to pay your dues first. Okay?

But...

- I said absolutely not. No. Okay?

Dad, Mom , how are you?

Great news!

I've had a major breakthrough.

Professor Reiser is very pleased.

He says this discovery

can be the basis for my Ph. D. thesis.

I will make you proud of me.

I hear American children

don't take care of their parents.

They send them to retirement homes

and let them die there.

Our son would never do that.

WOOD:

After generating much important research,

cosmic strings,

first proposed by Jacob Reiser,

no longer explain the observed

structure of the universe.

Hildy!

By using superstrings, I have discovered

a warm Dark Matter particle.

Did you know this was going to happen?

How could I possiblly know?

I am not a mind reader.

You do know.

How dare he?

Without my permission.

Without even showing it to me.

I believe he tried.

- He did not.

He showed me some scribbles on a yellow

legal pad. Why are you siding with him?

Liu Xing worships you. He wanted

your blessing, you didn't give it to him.

That's all that happened.

- Yeah, he's all so respectful,

bowing and obsequious on the outside.

On the inside

he's an arrogant little bastard.

Maybe they all are.

Joanna, Reiser think Im attacking him.

- Oh.

Im not attacking him.

- I know you're not.

This can help improve his model.

I was hoping so much

he will publish my article.

I'm sure he will.

And even if he doesn't, we can always

send it out to be published someplace.

Oh, my God. That's...

- Fabulous.

Exactly what I would say.

See, I just wanted something strong.

I can't tell which one of these is his...

- Now, there it is. Sixteen and a half.

I love that, too.

Ill take that.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, no, no, no. Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

I think you should have this one.

Too expensive.

The lady has impeccable taste.

- Well, it's only money.

When is your dissertation presentation?

- Next week.

Next week? And you're going

to wear this terrible shirt?

No, no, no, you wear this one.

You walk in, you have confidence,

you look good, you feel good.

Hit it out of the park.

I really don't need that shirt.

No, you don't need it,

but we're going to get it.

Dress for success.

You just worry. You're worrying too much.

You really are.

You know what my mother said?

Worry is interest paid on trouble

that has not happened yet.

So don't worry.

Hey, be careful with my new shirt!

Typical American thinking.

To climb a mountain,

you need hiking shoes.

To ride a bike, you need a helmet.

You can't just drink tap water.

it has to be mineral water.

Even when sleeping,

you have to wear sexy underwear.

That shirt isn't so great.

Dress for success.

Haven't you heard of that?

Liu Xing?

Therefore, this new warm Dark Matter

make a better match to observation,

as you can see

from final frame of simulation.

Did you use single- or

double-precision computation?

Single.

- But...

But even the slightest

computational error,

like a round-off error,

can significantly alter the results.

Results not caused by a round-off error.

So you say, but you have

no way to prove it. Do you?

Professor Reiser,

the simulation is accurate.

Double precision is standard procedure,

Liu Xing. Standard.

But, Professor Reiser...

Why you never tell this to me?

I do one thousand runs for your model,

single precision,

and you never tell this to me.

Never tell me, do different.

Excuse us for a moment.

You have to admit,

it's a highly original piece of work.

Do you really want to sign off on a thesis

that may be entirely inaccurate,

simply because some of

the ideas in it are intriguing?

Come on, Jake.

He made a very persuasive argument.

It's pure speculation.

He took the most speculative theory in

physics and speculated a little further.

He is in way over his head.

Well, maybe he's way over our heads.

Liu Xing, I'm afraid

we can't accept your dissertation

until you redo the computations.

What time is it?

Two o'clock.

Liu Xing!

Liu Xing?

Liu Xing, why aren't you answering?

What's going on?

Im coming in.

Let's go. You need a haircut.

You've had enough of that.

Come on. Let's go.

Liu Xing, come back to China with me.

Ill get you a job

at the Chinese Science Academy.

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