Dark Rising: Bring Your Battle Axe Page #5

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even if she wanted to. Umm... Jazzy... I-- Ricky... Make love to me. This is crazy. Do it! This is really going

to hurt, though. Get it out of me! Okay. Hold her down. [groaning, stifled cries] Did you get it yet? Not quite. Wow. It's in

there really good... AUUUUUUGH! Give me that. Got it. You okay? Wow. It's a tracking device. Wait! Who's tracking you? I think we both know. Never-mind.

Dammit. That was intense. I don't know about you two, but I could use a

breath of fresh air. Jason... Yeah? It's behind me, isn't it? Run! I shouldn't. Come on,

stop! We shouldn't do this. You're my best

friend's girl. Please stop. Ricky... I want you to pin

me down... And I want you

to f*** me. Let's roll. Renee, wait! Wait! What? Where's Summer? How the hell should I know? We've got to go

back for her. Jason... That thing is after us! Summer can take

care of herself. She saved my life. I have to go back. I'm a man, Renee. Since when? It's a new thing. I'm...

Trying it out. You brought this

demon here. We owe this to her. Okay. Fine.

Let's go. Okay, let's go. [growling] Jason... Are you sure you know

what you're doing? No.

Not really. [battlecry] Thank you. Oh sh*t. -Nooooo!

-Jason! My axe! [grunting] We must go. That won't keep

it down for long. Stop. You think we lost it? No. It will heal itself. It will keep coming. Are you bitten? No...

Not even a scratch. Good. Or else as much as it

would pain me to do so, I would have to kill you. Kill me? Why? Summer... What happens if

you're bitten? It's how the

Kellipoth reproduces. Once you are bitten,

you become its spawn. Part of the Kingdom of Shells. BOTH: Jasmine. Yeah, oh baby! I want your seed. What? Did you just say

you want my seed? I'm not really ready for kids,

and under the circumstances, your my best friend's

girl, there's a monster... You're all bloody... I figured it was just

about a couple people blowing off some steam... not planned

parenthood... Silence. Woah... Everybody stop. What's the problem, Jason? The problem... Princess... Is that we are heading

back to the campsite to kill a dear

friend of mine. Someone I care

for a great deal. You still care for this

Jasmine, more than her? Yes. I still... It must be done. It must be done. I still love her. Is this true? Damn it Jay. How blind do you

have to be? Jasmine doesn't love you. Maybe she did once, but

she doesn't anymore. God, sometimes guys

can be so blind. But we're soulmates, Renee. Dammit, Jay! She doesn't love you! Okay... Jasmine and Marlene have been screwing behind

your back for months now. I'm sorry what? They are lesbians. And they have been laughing

at you this entire time. We should have

told you earlier. Sorry. Who else knows about this? Just me... I swear. Pass me the axe. I do not understand. You will explain

it to me? Women... [moaning] Ricky!

Get away from her! Woah. Jay, Dude.

I'm so sorry. It just happened.

It just happened. Ricky! Now I'm going to

have to kill you. But I said I was sorry. Ricky, did Jasmine

bite you? No... Why? [roar] What the hell? She's a lesbian. Could have fooled me. [roar] She fooled me too. And now she has to die. What the hell

is going on? [roar] Can you guys give me a

second alone with her? Jason, are you sure

you want to do this? Please. Who the hell are

you supposed to be? [roaring] [roaring] Well... here we are. [roaring] Before I kill you though... I want you to be

honest with me. Just once. [roaring] Did you ever love me? All those times that

we held each other until the sun rose... What the hell did that

mean to you, Jasmine? [roaring] Come on Jasmine, I know

you're in there somewhere. Just tell me... What happened with us? Where did we go wrong? Jason... Poor Jason... We were high school

sweethearts... We were kids... And every time

I looked at you, I saw how small my life was. I gave you everything I had. Yeah... But then I turned

twenty-three... What do you see now, Jasmine? A man. That's right, baby. But not just a man. A man with an axe. You can turn back now. [roaring] [battlecry] You think he's okay? [screaming] Hey, Jay..

Are you okay? [shouting]

I'm...oh...kay... He's okay. [] So let me get

this straight... Renee's going to try

and reopen the portal to the dimension that

the demon came from. Jay and Summer are going

to force the demon back into the portal... And what exactly is

it that Ricky's doing? We have gone over this. You know what

you're doing, Ricky. Let me say it out

loud so it sticks. I'm the bait? You got it. Balls to that. You're a man. Be a man. What the hell is that

supposed to mean? You're so tough...

Why don't you do it? Because I need

to make sure that the Demon goes

back into the portal. None of you can go

head to head with it. Fine. What about her? I can read some

stupid magic trick! Why don't you do it? Because the second I turn my

back you screw my girlfriend. She was a demon! You didn't know

that at the time. Please...

It was so obvious. And yet you

still screwed her. She was an

incredible witch. Crazy powers. Ricky, you can do this. I don't know if I can... We got to move on this. And if you're not

going to go... Then I will. I'll go. Wait. Wait. I'll do it. I'll go. For once in my life

I'll be the hero. Wish me luck. Good luck. Good luck. Go with God. She has to say

'go with God'. Sh*t. Do you think he'll make it? He has to. Oh boy. Are we gonna do this or what? Hello? Mister demon? Ricky here. The guy from the camp... Yeah, I think we can

work something out... Just don't sneak

up on me, okay? I just want to-- [nonsensical cry] [sigh] Oh sh*t... [loud scream] Sounds like your

friend has failed. You know what that means. Yup. My turn. Good luck. Thanks. If I don't come back... You will. Run fast. Like the wind. But if I don't, I just

wanted to say... thank you. For what? For just Jason. Good-bye my princess. You know... He's really sweet-- He's coming!

He's coming! Start reading. Menda Rotran Carno Matron... [suspenseful music throughout] Are you ready? Atta-- [screaming] Oh sh*t. [pained cries] ...Carno Matron... Renee... Read faster! Menda Rotran Carno Matron... Vytal Krank Overt Matron. Guys, I think it's working. [pained cry] Hey! Over here! Come and get me! Renee! [cracking bones]

No! Damn you! [groaning] [cracking bones] [battlecry] I'll kill you! [] [thumping, groaning] [groaning] [silence] SUMMER: That was the

last time I saw him... ...Jason, my prince... my savior. What he did for me... His sacrifice meant that

I could have a new life. A life in this world. A world without monsters. A world full of hope... A world full of infinite

possibilities... That was almost year ago. Since then, I have found nothing more

about my lost memories... Nothing more about those

who tortured and trained me to be an ultimate

killing machine. What I have realized is that this world

is not so different than the one

I grew up in. It is a world with

different demons... Different monsters... And different battles... MAN: Summer,

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