Dating Daisy

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1

[Zach] I don't understand

why I can't do Thanksgiving

at your house this year again.

[Michael]

Dude, this is a totally

codependent relationship,

you need to have

your own life, man.

[Zach] I don't want to go

to my family's house.

My mom's got that new

church she goes to

where they're speaking

in tongues... it's weird.

Dude.

Oh, you packed your towels.

You packed your sex towels.

Dude, they are not sex towels.

They are towels.

They're a general

multipurpose tool.

Oh, bullshit. I know

what those towels are for,

and I also know

what I heard in there.

That chick is assigned

to the most memorable ringtone

this side of the Mason-Dixon,

and I don't know

what's more pathetic...

the fact that I know that

or the fact that you never

changed it, you big dork.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

Road trippin'

with your ex, dude.

Okay, and for two,

I don't reassign ringtones.

Bullshit.

Yeah, you do.

- No, I don't. No.

- Yeah, you do.

So, you're saying

that if we stop being

- best friend business partners...

- Whoa, BFBPs for life.

That if I called

you ten years from now,

I would still be

Elton John's Tiny Dancer.

Yeah.

Tight.

F O B D:

[cell phone vibrating]

F O B D:

Oh, I knew it, I knew it.

Hey, you.

Dude, her car broke down.

I would do it for anyone.

Last time my car broke down,

you didn't do sh*t for me.

- It's over, dude.

- Uh-huh.

When are you gonna

propose to her?

Damn it, Zach.

You're actually gonna wait

five minutes

after you see her,

so it's not complete desperate?

Not gonna happen.

[Zach] Are you gonna, like,

get on top of your car?

- No.

- Top of a hill?

- No.

- People are always proposing

on the top of things.

Dude, I'm driving her up,

that is it.

- Do you need a flash mob?

- No, I don't need a flash mob.

- I can get you a flash mob.

- I do not need a flash mob.

[engine turning over]

You drive away,

this is the end of all things.

Okay, bye.

[Zach groans]

Buddy, okay, I have

groomsman experience...

specifically best man.

Don't do this.

Sh*t!

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

I've never been

the kind of girl

Who sat around and wondered

what could've been

I'm too damn busy

getting mine

I've never been

the kind of girl

Ranked by my endless beauty

My jeans are ripped,

no makeup on

Don't give a shh

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

I've never been

the kind of girl

Who kept my secrets secret

When talking in my sleep

I always let it out

I've never been

the kind of girl

Who had a mild opinion

With too much wine,

I'll speak my mind

You'll never hear me

apologize

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, babe, take everything

I'll give it to you

This is the best of me

You got the best of me

Hey, babe, love every day

And we'll be okay

This is the best of me

This is the best of me

And I'm telling you

That this is who I am

That's everything

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

Hey, babe, love every day

And we'll be okay

This is the best of me

And all I can do

Is keep giving it to you

[Spanish dance music]

[chuckles]

What?

We're gonna have

to stop, like, 10 times

before you finish that thing.

- I know.

- I'm gonna set a lap timer.

Shut up.

[both laugh]

Thank you, though.

Um, thank you for driving.

It's cool.

You've obviously been

reading those books

that I got you...

that's really cool.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah,

I checked out...

the...

the one Wayne Dyer one.

God, that book,

like, changed my life.

I mean, it's

transformational, right?

Uh, yeah, I mean...

It's got some good

stuff in there.

With your business,

it's totally thriving,

are you doing those, like...

are you doing the abundance

prayers or, like, the mantras?

Um...

Yeah, I mean,

I think it's more

about just the work

that I'm actually putting in.

Well, right, yeah, but I mean,

like, on a subconscious level,

like, you're drawing

this success

in this area towards yourself,

like,

it's really inspiring and...

Yeah, I'm thinking

about it, but...

Yeah, but you're

thinking about it,

and those beliefs are, like,

showing up in your life,

I'm really proud of you.

That's awesome.

Thank you.

I've been doing a lot

of abundance work myself, too,

so, like, I really feel

like soon, you know,

something is gonna...

Well, I mean,

at a certain point,

you have to kind of be

results-oriented

to work toward...

like, actually work

toward a thing.

Sorry.

It's cool.

You'll find something, Dais.

I promise.

[cell phone vibrating]

["Ride Of The Valkyries"

by Richard Wagner"]

- Do you need some help?

- No, I'm fine.

- Okay, yeah, can you, please?

- Yeah.

You want me to put

my hand in your pocket?

Like, you want me to put this

hand in this, like, here?

- Would you just...

- Is it in here?

Yes.

Okay.

Um...

"Hi, baby, can

you please pick up

some extra pasta salad

and wine before you come?"

Yep.

Do you want me

to tell your mom

that you're dropping

me off first?

[chuckling]

Oh.

She still hates me.

Great.

She doesn't hate you.

I used to have these dreams

that your family was Filipino,

and your mom was asking me

to make a ceremonial tea

in the kitchen by spitting

into a communal pot.

My throat was so dry

every time.

Yeah.

[chuckles]

Don't be mean.

Okay, okay.

It was a lot of pressure.

Okay.

Sorry.

She's a lot.

[Michael] She is.

Do you want the rest of this?

Yeah.

[woman] We turned our back

[laughing] Oh, my God.

You got it, you got it.

Yeah, a little more?

It's right there, yeah.

Thank you.

It's good, though,

seeing you, just...

Being cool.

Yeah.

Yeah, cool.

[Michael and Daisy moaning]

[Michael] Okay, okay, slow down.

Slow down. Slow down.

Oh, God, yeah.

[moaning continues]

Hey, wait, what are you doing?

Breathing it up my spine.

[inhales deeply]

Michael.

Wait, Michael, Michael, I can't.

Just look at me,

look at me in the eyes.

- You can look at me, baby.

- Please, no.

Oh, my God.

[Michael groaning]

I said slow down.

That was necessary.

Totally necessary.

Are you kidding?

Oh, God, it's everywhere.

Oh, f***.

Oh, it better not be

on my pants.

I have towels.

[both laughing]

[rock music]

[Daisy] Okay, no, I got it.

Yeah.

I got it, I need it

I can't wait to see it

I got it, I need it

I can't wait to see it

I can't wait

No, I can't wait, no

I can't wait

To see

Your light

Yeah

Go

Okay, there she is.

[Daisy] Hey, Mom. Hi.

Oh, my gosh, look who it is.

[Michael grunts]

Oh, come here.

[Michael] Hi, Donna.

[Donna] Come here.

Happy Thanksgiving.

It's been six months

since I saw you, oh, my gosh,

and you didn't say a thing.

Mom, he just drove me up.

Oh, well, that's great.

Well, come on in.

What are you waiting for?

Honey, come on.

Oh, I've got so much to cook.

Got the greatest food.

You're gonna love it.

See who's here.

Michael, hey, I didn't

know you were coming.

Did you know he was coming?

[Grandpa] Precious.

Hi, Grandpa.

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