Dave Made a Maze

1

Remember, they won't hear me,

so if you could answer the

questions in complete sentences.

"I built the maze because?"

I built the maze because

I wanted to make something.

- And?

- Oh, god.

Am I coming off angry?

Just please don't let me

come across angry on this.

- Don't... or spineless. Please.

- Of course not.

If... for f***'s sake, do not make

me look like a spineless a**hole.

Of course not. Boom.

I built something because

I wanted to build something.

And if I could just finish it,

I just know that it would...

It would be great. It would...

Or true, or real.

And tertiary, tertiary,

I might be responsible for

the people that died yesterday

or today, I don't know

what time it is.

And if I am,

then I'm sorry.

Tertiarily.

Tell me more about that.

Dave, don't go.

A few more questions.

Hey.

I'm back!

- What the...

- Hey, baby!

Welcome home!

How was your trip?

Um...

It was fine.

What is this?

I built a labyrinth!

Can you believe it?

Ok.

Um, how long are you planning

on having it up?

Oh, you know,

just a little while.

Ok.

I'm going to take a shower.

Cool.

Cool.

Wait!

Annie!

What?

Annie, I'm so glad you're home.

Ok.

Tsk, tsk, tsk... all right.

Have you been working

on this all weekend?

- Hey!

- Hey.

Um, yes.

Well, I started

Friday night and...

I'm lost.

Um, it's cardboard.

I know, but it's much

bigger on the inside.

I really want to see you.

Can you please come out?

Annie.

I'm lost.

Dude, come out.

They're just refrigerator boxes.

Knock 'em over.

Do you even know how long

it took me to make this?

You can't just make me

tear it down because it works.

Where's the entrance?

No!

Annie, do not come in here.

It is not finished

and it is way too dangerous.

Dave, you're being a douche.

No, what are you doing?

Stop it!

Oh, my god!

Whoa!

What is happening?

Whatever you just did,

please don't do that again.

I'm coming in.

No, it's not ready!

I don't want you to get lost.

How long have you been in there?

I've been in here

for three days.

What?

Are you kidding me?

I left my phone on the counter,

or I would have called.

I really wanted to call.

Oh, my god.

- I'm breaking it down.

- No, no, no, wait!

There has to be a way!

Call Gordon!

No, call Leonard!

- No, call Gordon.

- Are you serious?

Yes, Annie, please.

Just, I've worked

so hard on this.

Hey, Gordon.

Hello.

Where's that beard at?

The beard's on my face!

I said where's that beard at?

I said the beard's on my face!

- What you say?

- I said the beard's on my face!

- Hey, man.

- Hey.

- Sorry I didn't call.

- Ok.

I thought you were dead in a

closet with a bag over your head.

Ha.

Did Annie explain?

Yeah, she did.

Why aren't we

breaking this down?

Because he worked

really hard on it.

Thank you. Yes.

Let's see what we've got here.

Dave,

are you wearing your shoes?

No.

No, of course not.

Mm-hmm.

We're not allowed to go in.

Yeah, because

it's not finished yet.

He's afraid that we'll get lost.

Which is right

because it's bigger

than it looks.

I can't believe

you actually made this.

Well, it's not finished yet.

But pretty cool, huh?

The interesting thing is

that I started in the center

and built outward,

like a seashell.

The interesting thing

is that you got lost.

I said where's that beard at?

The beard's on my face!

Annie, can I get a jar?

Come in, Gordon.

Hey.

What's wrong with him?

Um, you know, he gets

all fired up about stuff,

but he never finishes anything.

At least he followed through this time.

You know?

Come on, look at half this

stuff out here, it's a mess.

You know you're the one that's going

to have to clean up all this cardboard

once he takes up,

carpentry.

You Ok?

I'm fine.

He's lost in a cardboard

maze in our living room.

Not true.

He's lost in a cardboard maze

in your living room

that he built.

It's way stupider.

- Thanks.

- Hmm.

He said he's been in there

for three days.

Where do you think

he poops and stuff?

I...

I haven't had

anything to eat for a while.

What?

You haven't eaten anything?

I had some trail mix,

a little beef jerky,

you know, construction food.

But that was a while ago.

And I didn't build a toilet,

and I'm not going to sh*t

on our floor!

- Are you Ok?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

I just, I kinda hurt my hand.

Let me guess, paper cut?

Yeah, kind of.

Is it bad?

Are you all right?

No, it's fine.

I'm fine.

Don't worry, guys.

Hey, I think

it's time we lift it up

and you crawl out.

What am I, a worm?

And I can't, because

I taped it to the carpet.

You're kidding.

It's sealed tight.

Wait, let me just...

Jesus Christ!

Stop!

What are you even doing?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Please don't do that.

Ok.

Oh, my god!

I can hear that!

Gordon, keep knocking!

Why did I not think of this?

So simple!

Keep knocking, Gordon!

Knock away, baby!

Yeah! Wait. Oh, sh*t. Gordon?

I can't hear you knocking.

I've gone too far.

Nah, I was just kidding.

- Awesome.

- What?

I'm lost again.

Just, follow the knocking.

I wish it was that easy.

I built this thing too tricky.

What are we supposed to do?

Ooh!

Make sandwiches, put them in baggies.

And then throw them into

the labyrinth, yeah,

and then hopefully

I'll find one.

This is really good. I'm gonna

call Leonard real fast.

Dave.

Can you please come out?

Annie, I want to,

I just, I can't.

Dave is trapped in a cardboard

maze in his living room

and he can't get out.

No, no bag, no closet, just.

Yeah, Annie just came home

and found him,

no, no, no,

Gordon? Gordon!

Hold on a sec, Leo.

What?

Only Leonard.

Only Leonard.

You got me?

Yes, of course.

You Ok?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Just... kinda hungry.

And we can't tear it down?

Please don't.

- Let's go get him.

- No, you can't.

It's too dangerous.

You wouldn't last a second

with the obstacles

- and the booby traps...

- You built obstacles?

Yeah, just for fun,

and they took on

a life of their own.

And they're not what I intended.

So we can't tear it down,

and we can't go in?

I'm going home.

No, no, come on, you just got here.

Let's hang out.

I've gotta work tomorrow.

Well, you've got

awesome right now!

Sorry.

Bye, Dave.

Bye, Leonard!

Leonard, can I get a few words

from you before you go?

Ok.

Cock, radio, porcelain,

an interview.

Wait, was that Harry?

Yeah, he's making a documentary.

Oh.

Did he see the labyrinth yet?

Nope.

Probably missed it.

Come on, guys!

It's huge!

Wait, who else is out there?

Me, Gordon, Harry.

Uh, Harry's crew.

Greg and Brynn are here.

Hey, Dave.

Can you not say that

at the same time as me?

What?

- You know...

- Hey, guys.

Hey, Dave.

- Damn it.

- Gordon, what the f***?

Nicole couldn't make it,

but Jane is here.

I want to go inside!

Can we go inside?

- What? No!

- Ok.

I don't understand, why can't

he just break out of it?

Because he's attached to it.

Huh.

Yeah, Ok.

Ok, well, don't just

let anyone in, Ok?

Yeah, there's some

Flemish tourists,

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