Dead Billy

1

- I wanna show you something.

- Unstable, and on the verge

of a complete meltdown.

That's the word from German

environment Minister Matilda...

- Holy sh*t, that smells good!

Oh, what happened?

You okay?

- I think it's all right, I

could use a band aid though.

- It looked good, at least.

- I guess we'll just have

to make this salad night.

- You sure, it's not Thursday,

think you can handle it?

- I can improvise.

- Oh chaos, everything

is chaos, I say.

Destruction and flames,

and new torments,

and new tormented

souls I see around me,

wherever I look and

how so ever I turn,

and wherever I gaze.

- Shh.

- What's this?

- Earthquake in Poland,

I guess this nuclear

plant's about to blow.

- Sh*t, now I feel like an ass.

- As you should.

How was it?

- Huh?

- The lecture, how was it?

- Peruse.

- Very nice, your turn.

- Hmm, it was what it

was, I didn't learn much.

- You don't need

to learn anything,

you know it all all ready.

- Ouch.

- No, oh, sh*t, that's

not what I mean.

- Uh huh.

- No, really.

- Yup.

- I just mean you're smart.

- Sure.

- That's not what I...

- But that's not what...

- Stop, you know what I meant.

- Tell me again how smart I am.

- While don't you

shut up and grab me

a boiled egg from the

fridge, smart guy.

Do you want an avocado?

- Hey, will you turn

that off for a second.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing, nothing is

wrong, at least I hope not.

All my life, I've looked

at words as though

seeing them for the first time.

I rehearsed this

in my head all day.

Oh, damn it, I had this

all figured out in the car.

Uh, here.

Doubt thou the stars of fire,

doubt that the sun does move,

doubt truth to be a liar,

but never doubt my love.

Calliope Garrard,

will you marry me?

I know it's not much, I wanted

to get something bigger.

- Cali, look at me.

- I'm here.

- Oh, you're awake,

how are we feeling?

- She needs water.

- Looks like we have

had quite a night,

haven't we Calliope?

You wanna tell me

what you remember?

- I just came home.

- Mmm hmm.

- And I cut my finger.

- And?

- Doubt the stars of fire,

did you propose to me?

- So, was it a

stroke or something?

- Well, Calliope experienced

what we call a tonic clonic

event, or what was referred

to as a grand Mal seizure

back in the middle ages.

It can be triggered

by a number of things,

stress, malnutrition,

flashing lights,

were you watching television

when this happened?

- Uh, yeah.

- Yeah, okay, tell me,

can you remember having

any strange feelings

the moments preceding?

Dizziness maybe, or a

strong surge of emotions,

altered vision,

hearing, strange smells,

overwhelming sense of deja

vu, anything like that?

- I don't remember.

- Okay, well the seizure

appears to have been idiopathic.

- What does that mean?

- It's a fancy word

for we don't know.

Now, is this the first

time it's happened to you?

- I don't...

I think, when I lived with

Billy, or maybe before.

- Billy?

- And how long ago was that?

- I don't know, maybe

10 years ago, nine.

- Who's Billy?

- Was it just the one time?

- I was eighteen.

I don't, I don't...

- Okay, well listen,

I want you to relax,

I'm gonna come back in and

check on you in a little bit.

We're gonna keep you overnight

and run some tests, okay?

- Sure, okay.

- Who's Billy?

- Hey, you wanna know

why they call me dead Billy?

It was '67, '68 maybe,

before the Ted offensive.

They sent us into this

village, north of.

Everyone there was

Cong, they said.

There was this black guy,

called him big Charles,

huge motherf***er, but

a sweetheart, you know.

Big Charles sees this

girl, maybe seven or eight,

sitting in a road, out

in front of the huts.

She's crying, he has a candy

bar or something in his pack,

so he goes to her, to

give her the candy,

and she jumps up, throws

something, grenade maybe,

something, and Big Charles

catches it one handed,

and turns his big

dumb eyes to me,

and next thing I

know I'm on my back,

wearing his guts as

a f***ing necklace.

I was standing five,

10 feet away maybe,

and I didn't have

a scratch on me.

So everyone says later,

Jesus Christ Billy,

you should have been

f***ing dead, right?

And I should have been,

I mean, I know that,

but I didn't even singe

my God damn eyebrows.

So about a month later, we're

in this little bar in Saigon,

and this guy Norman,

big Navajo guy,

he's trying to get me

laid, all those guys,

they thought I was a virgin.

Norm decides he can't

have that in his unit,

so he's talking to

this slope whore,

but she don't speak English,

it's all just GI, GI,

blowie, blowie, fuckie,

fuckie, that sort of thing,

so he's telling her this story

about how I should be dead,

and she lights all up

like a Christmas tree,

because yeah, she

knows that word, dead.

So, she just looks at

me with these big eyes,

and she just shrugs

and says, "Blowie?"

He gives her five bucks, he

takes to me this little room

in the back, and sucks me off.

Took me thirty seconds,

but I swear I damn near

blew a hole in the

back of her skull.

Anyway, I've been

Dead Billy ever since.

- Cali, come on, this isn't

funny, just open the door,

I know you're in there.

Cali, I just wanna see

you, open the door!

Come on, I'm gonna stay

here all day, until...

Oh God, what did you

let him do to you.

- I told you I ran away

from home for a while,

when I was a kid.

- Yeah, but you never

mentioned this Billy.

Who was he?

- Just this guy, a vet.

- From the Gulf?

- Vietnam.

- Jesus, how old was he?

And you lived with him?

Was it, was it a sexual thing?

- Roy...

- Come on, were you

f***ing the guy?

- What do you think?

I don't think I need

to apologize to you.

- Are you okay?

- Developing in

Germany, showing a frightening

new discovery at the

Kumps Nuclear Plant,

just days after the

earthquake in Poland

sent the reactor into

complete meltdown.

German officials have now

released data that shows

radiation levels around

Kunps have spiked

to levels much higher than

initial reports suggested.

Reports from both the German

environmental authorities,

and the UN health

organization, show that total

air release of iodine

131 and Cecil 137...

- Hey, look at me.

- Well, this is kinda f***ed up.

- There's nothing to

discourage the appetite

for divinity in

the heart of man.

That's Kabu, my dear.

- Lucian.

- Hmm?

Muse, I thought you were

staying with your mother.

- It's Tuesday, Daddy.

- Well then...

Well sit Muse, join us.

Would you like some coffee?

- I don't know, I

should get to school.

- Nonsense, sit.

Cali, this is Ashley,

she's my graduate student.

- Hey, sure.

I gotta get to class.

- Sit!

- Okay.

- Ashley, this is my

daughter Cali, my muse.

Ashley is quite the star in

our humble little bailiwick.

She's doing her thesis

on the age of reason,

very provocative stuff.

- I'm doing this third

way feminist view of it.

You know, breaking

down the relationship

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