Dead Poets Society Page #20

Keating pauses.

KEATING (CONT'D)

Suppose you are taking a course entitled

"Modern Novels." All semester you have

been reading masterpieces such as the

touching PERE GORIER by Balzac and the

moving FATHERS and SONS by Turgenev, but

when you receive your assignment for your

final paper, you discover that you are to

write an essay on the theme of parental

love in The Doubtful Debutante, a novel--

and I use that term generously here--by

none other than the professor himself.

Keating looks at the boys with a raised eyebrow, then

continues.

KEATING (CONT'D)

After reading the first three pages of

the book, you realize that you would

rather volunteer for combat than waste

your precious earthly time infecting your

mind with this sewage, but do you

despair? Take an "F." Absolutely not

because you are prepared.

Keating paces.

KEATING (CONT'D)

Open The Doubtful Deb and learn from the jacket that the book

is about Frank, a farm equipment salesman who sacrifices

everything to provide his social climbing daughter Christine

with the debut she so desperately desires. Begin your essay

by disclaiming the need to restate the plot while at the same

time regurgitating enough of it to convince the professor that

you've read his book. Next shift to something pretentious and

familiar. For instance, you might write, "What is remarkable

to note are the similarities between the author's dire picture

of parental love and modern Freudian theory. Christine is

Electra, her father is a fallen Oedipus.' Finally, skip to

the obscure and elaborate like this:

Keating pauses, then...

KEATING (CONT'D)

what is most remarkable is the novel's

uncanny connection with Hindu Indian

philosopher Avesh Rahesh Non. Rahesh Non

discussed in painful detail the

discarding of parents by children for the

three headed monster of ambition, money,

and social success. Go on to discuss

Rahesh Non's theories about what feeds

the monster, how to behead it, etcetera

etcetera. End by praising the

professor's brilliant writing and

consummate courage in introducing The

Doubtful Deb to you.

Meeks raises his hand.

MEEKS:

Oh Captain, My Captain. What if we

don't know anything about someone like

Rahesh Non?

KEATING:

Rahesh Non never existed, Mr. Meeks.

You make him or someone like him up. No

self important college professor such as

this one would dare admit ignorance of

such an obviously important figure and

you will probably receive a comment

similar to the one I received:

Keating finds a paper on his desk and reads from it:

KEATING (CONT'D)

Your allusions to Rahesh Non were

insightful and well presented. Glad to

see that someone besides myself

appreciates this great but forgotten

Eastern master. A plus.

He drops the paper.

KEATING (CONT'D)

Gentlemen, analyzing dreadful books you

haven't read will be on your final exam,

so I suggest you practice on your own.

Now for some traps of college exams. Take

cut a blue book and pencil, boys. This is

a pop quiz.

The boys obey. Keating passes out tests. He sets up a

screen in the front Of the room, then goes to the back of the

room and sets up a slide projector.

KEATING (CONT'D)

Big universities are crowded Sodoms and

Gomorrahs filled with those delectable

beasts we see so little of here: females.

The level of distraction is dangerously

high, but this quit is designed to

prepare you. Let me warn you, this test

will count. Begin.

The boys begin their tests. Keating puts a slide in the

projector. On the screen in the front of the room appears a

blow-up of a beautiful girl, college age, leaning over to pick

up a pencil. Her figure is quite remarkable, and, bending

over as she is, you can see her panties. The boys glance up

from their tests, then most do a double-take on the photo.

KEATING (CONT'D)

Concentrate on your tests, boys. You

have twenty minutes.

Keating changes the slide. This time we see a beautiful

woman in scanty lingerie (an ad from "Vogue" or a similar

magazine). The boys find it extremely difficult to

concentrate on their tests. The slide show continues with

slide after slide of beautiful women in revealing and

provocative poses, tight blow-ups of naked female Greek

statues, etc. The boys try in vain to take their tests. Knox

writes "Chris, Chris, Chris" over and over on his paper.

DISSOLVE TO:

82-85 OMITTED 82-85

86A EXT. THE WELTON CAPGUS - DUSK 86A

Boys in heavy-hooded jackets and winter mufflers move from

building to building. The wind blows leaves around in

swirling torrents.

ANGLE ON A PATH where Todd and Neil walk together. Todd

holds a copy of "A Midsummer's Night's Dream." Neil is using

his Puck jester's stick like a sword while practicing his

lines.

NEIL:

Here, villain, draw and ready. where art

thou?

TODD:

(reading)

I will be with thee straight.

NEIL:

(from memory)

Follow me then to plainer ground. God,

I love this!

TODD:

This play?

NEIL:

Yes, and acting! It's got to be one of

the most wonderful things in the world.

Most people, if they're lucky, live about

half an exciting life! If I could get the

parts, I could live dozens of lives.

With a theatrical flourish, he runs and leaps onto a wall.

NEIL (CONT'D)

To be or net to be, that is the

question! God, for the first time in my

whole life, I feel completely alive! You

have to try it.

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