Dear God Page #3

Smith? OK, good.

What is with that guy?

Dooly's our other burnout.

Behind this one?

Dooly was a carrier. Memorised|the entire Los Angeles phone book.

Then one day, he snapped. Bit a dog.

Ramon. Can I get to|the Dead Parcel Room this way?

- Dead Parcel?|- Dead Parcel. Where's Vladek?

Vladek is smoking!

Vladek?

Tom. Did you cash your cheque?

Yeah, I actually thought|this would be a little more.

Gross. People think|we swim in sea of gross

but we are caught in net of net.

Taxes. That's what|everybody complains about.

- What?|- That's what every... Never mind.

Come. I take you to|Dead Parcel Room. Getting off.

Dead bracelets, dead Rolex...

And why is all this here?

All of this gets auctioned off|but we cannot go. Why? Postal rules.

After all, if employees|could bid on lost parcels,

there would be dramatic increase|in undeliverable packages. You agree?

That is why Big Brother|is always watching.

They deliver us from temptation.

- There's people scoping us out?|- Sometimes.

Why sometimes?|Am I asking too much?

No. This is Mr Addison's shift.

He's old, he naps.

- It's a problem.|- It's not easy for old people.

You're good boy, Tom. Slow but good.

I want you to memorise and learn|all inventory for tracing purposes.

Terrific! I was gonna ask, should I|start in the back here or just...

Vladek?

Thank you, God.

That's not too gaudy.

- Tom?|- Guys, where you been?

What are you doing?

I was just running|a trace on something.

Well, hurry. Idris has to lock up.|Tracing? What tracing?

I found this package in there.

A bunch of junk, really.

Some of it's kind of nice.|It's going to Normandy.

Normandy Arms. 2... 2F.

I thought if could find the right...

I learned all this here, you know.|Just find... There it is.

Nine-zero-zero-six.

"Tom, how did you learn all that?"|I looked it up earlier.

Probably one of those stupid things|kids are doing these days.

What are they called? Care packages.|I'll send it out later.

Ramon is making his rounds now.

Perfect. That guy's like clockwork.

- Morning pick-ups.|- That's very good, Tom.

Bring the dead back to life,|like postal resurrection.

- Yes!|- It's not that funny.

- No. Sucking up to the boss.|- That's funny.

Come, we take coffee break.|I buy you "varushka."

Is Russian pastry, very delicious.

- Make your teeth sticky.|- I'll buy, Vladek.

Let me get my cash.|I'll see you down there.

Alright. Yes. I see you|in eating place. Cafeteria.

Ramon?

What?

- You picked up mail from the DLO?|- Yeah,

I fed it to Barney just a second ago.|Right over there.

Get away! Get out of here.

Get off!

Wait!

Marvellous catch! Listen.

Let's say somebody accidentally mails|a letter but it's in the building...

Once it's mailed, it's gone.|Overnight!

OK!

Hold the truck, please.|No! Mail mistake.

And now, our last Normandy Arms|rent striker, Marguerite.

My name is Marguerite Duvalier.|I live in 2F.

There are many, many problems here.

The worst thing is the security door.

There is no lock. It just swings|open and closed, open and closed.

Please, come up|and sign the petition.

Your signature counts.

Normandy Arms people unite.

It's our money now,|not yours, copper.

So get lost, Five-0!

Do I know you?

- Mother!|- No.

- Mother!|- Yes, my baby, what is it?

Hi. We may have|a slight postal problem.

A small investigation|may be necessary.

No, don't worry, honey.|We don't have to give back the money.

It was delivered already?|I mean, money?

My mama needs the money,|now get lost!

- It's official business, kid.|- Quiet.

God is looking out for us.

Isn't he?

Right?

Yes. I mean, you know, I think|actually I got the wrong building.

- Correct!|- Correct. OK.

Cute. He's very cute. Adorable.

Very talkative. Thank you. Your son|ought to run the rent strike meeting.

Kid buried me. Stupid hat buried me.|Now Junior's gonna bury me.

- Marguerite.|- What is it, Rebecca?

- You know that guy?|- Who, him?

After Marguerite told me about you,

some God letters myself.

with your mission of mercy.

What's the best way for me|to put this?

You are seriously deranged. I was not|there on a mission of mercy.

I wasn't delivering money.

I was trying to get it back|and screw over those poor people.

I saw how happy you were|when that little boy looked at you.

You seriously don't understand.

I didn't want the money to go to|that obnoxious, pushy little kid.

It was supposed to go to|my obnoxious, pushy loan shark.

Sure. You mailed it|by accident. That's right.

Complete coincidence that I'm|advising tenants on a rent strike

and you just happen to be delivering|Marguerite her money.

There are no accidents.

You did something good and selfless.

Together,|we can make that happen again.

I wanna show you something.

It's a letter.

- It's in Spanish so I'll translate.|- Is this long?

"Dear God, my little girl|will be nine next week."

"Doctors say|it may be her last birthday."

"All she wants for her birthday|is to ride a horse."

"I live in East LA.|We don't have many horses here."

"Angela doesn't ask for much|and she is very brave."

"Please give her this wish. Here is|her drawing. Thank you, Juanita."

She doesn't draw very well.

- Three eyes.|- That's a nose.

- Isn't she sad?|- No.

OK, she's sad.|What do you want me to do about it?

Some poor soul|asks God for a hand-out,

so I'm meant to produce a miracle?|No, that's not in my job description.

OK. So, where do we start?

You wanna do this kid a favour?

I say we write her a letter back|from God and say,

"Life sucks and it's probably not|going to get any better."

Maybe I misjudged you.

That's exactly what you've done.

No offence, Rebecca, but I got|my own sad, serious problems.

No, that's fine.|I'll take care of her myself.

Who said I needed your help anyway?

Dooly! Did you ever deliver East LA?

Course I did. Till that toad|demoted me down to this pit.

Said I had an attitude problem.|What's that supposed to mean?

Let it go. Do you remember any|schools with the zip code 90022?

I remember more schools than that|numb-nuts that took over my route.

I'll give you schools. Public.|First Street Elementary,

Fourth Street Elementary,|Hollenback Junior.

OK, Dooly, we'll get that on paper|and I can find her myself.

Look, the sign says "Ride the pony".|It does not say "Pose with the pony"!

It's a figure of speech!|It's just a sign!

Look, Mr Eduardo is very tired.|He's resting. He's very famous.

He was in "Treasure of Sierra Madre."|He worked with Humphrey Bogart.

You have to let her ride it!|I paid you!

Look how happy she is sitting.|Let her sit! This isn't a dude ranch!

Que burro!|She doesn't want to ride that.

It's a donkey, not a horse.

I know. It's an awful, awful donkey!

- I got a watch looking for a wrist.|- I got seven watches. Look!

Your wrist needs a security alarm.

You can't take my money|and not give me anything.

I'm giving you a passport|to the wondrous world

of Ziggy's Petting Zoo.|Now go pet Goosey Gander!

Alright, sweetheart,|let's pet the goose.

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