Dear Mr. Gacy Page #8

the images of the boys

he killed never left my mind.

Their innocent faces

still remind me

of just how unthinkable

these crimes were.

And the losses that these families suffered

should never be forgotten.

We live in a society

that is fascinated

by murder, killing and violence.

So I thought I was just one

of many with a morbid interest

in the darker side

of human nature.

But I also wanted

to conquer something that I truly feared.

Instead of running away

from this monster,

something told me

I should confront it

and look it in the eye.

When I first embarked

on this journey

to enter into the mind

and manipulate

one of the world's

most notorious serial killers,

I never imagined that the one

who would ultimately be manipulated

and controlled would be me.

Thank you.

Very good, Jason.

Well done, Jason. Very good.

Well, Jason,

you really took me for a ride.

You were right,

I never saw it coming.

Of all the people who

f***ed me over in my life,

I never thought it would be you.

But it must have been fate.

Thousands of people wanted me,

but I picked you.

We had a real connection,

the two of us.

And now that I know the truth,

I know more than ever

that you and I are

a lot more alike than you think.

It's time to die now.

See you on the other side, buddy.

I portrayed an image to Gacy

of this lonely boy that had no friends.

I wanted someone

to teach me or help me.

I presented myself as very naive.

I didn't want to just learn about Gacy.

I wanted to actually talk to him,

find out about his crimes,

find out the things

that no one else

could find out about.

I thought, "I'm gonna find the secrets

that the FBI couldn't figure out.

I want to do

what the psychologists failed to do."

And every letter I got back, I thought that

was one step closer to finding out

why Gacy buried those kids.

But he was also a part

of my life for seven months.

He was my friend, my confidant,

the subject of all my nightmares.

But it's weird to know

that he's gone.

~ Maybe I left you alone too much ~

~ Maybe I didn't know you well ~

~ Maybe if I held you a little longer ~

~ When you were a boy ~

~ Maybe I would have been

able to tell ~

~ You dance with the devil ~

~ You'll never be the same ~

~ I wish I'd have known ~

~ I'd make you stay with me ~

~ My forever won't change ~

~ Like a wound I keep on paying ~

~ Time won't heal this kind of pain ~

~ I watched you walk

down that road ~

~ I saw a side you never showed ~

~ Pretended like it was okay ~

~ I never wanted it to end this way ~

~ If you survive ~

~ You'll never be the same ~

~ I wish I'd have known ~

~ I'd make you stay with me ~

~ My forever won't change ~

~ Like a wound I keep on paying ~

~ Time won't heal this kind of pain ~

~ My forever won't change... ~

~ Won't change,

won't change... ~

~ My forever won't change ~

~ Like a wound I keep on paying ~

~ Time won't heal this kind of pain ~

~ My forever won't change. ~

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