Dear White People Page #2

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COCO:

In my second year of a four year

sentence. Wanted to go to New York.

SUPERIMPOSE:
COLANDREA COCO CONNERS, SOPHOMORE, ECONOMICS

HELMUT:

Yeah? And do what?

COCO:

Things my mama taught me not to.

You know get in a lot of trouble

and become famous for it. But alas

I didn’t get into Tisch...

HELMUT:

Armstrong / Parker? That your

rooming assignment?

COCO:

Traditionally it’s where the

hopelessly Afrocentric gather to

process their guilt over not going

to an HBCU.

(off Helmut’s look)

Where the Negros be at.

HELMUT:

That’s not where you want to be?

6.

COCO:

Bechet House is more my style.

HELMUT:

With the rich white kids.

COCO:

Excuse me?

HELMUT:

What part of Chicago you from?

COCO:

Hyde Park.

HELMUT:

What street?

COCO:

Seventy Eighth and --

HELMUT:

-- Seventy Eighth is Southside

sweetheart. And you know what they

say. You can take the girl out the

hood but --

COCO:

-- Ain’t nothing hood about me.

HELMUT:

Thanks so much for coming in.

Coco gets up to leave. Tries to recover.

COCO:

So what’s this show about anyway?

HELMUT:

Here’s the way reality works

sweetheart, I’m the producer. I ask

the questions. Be in touch.

And with that Helmut hustles Coco out. He sits and ponders

before unmuting his iPad.

SAM (O.S.)

Dear White People I am here to

burst your post-racial little

bubble.

(MORE)

7.

SAM (O.S.) (CONT'D)

Yes Oprah may have her own network,

but Ann Coulter is still writing

best sellers, Black kids are still

getting shot for wearing hoodies,

and even here the few vestiges of

Black culture are under attack by

conservative groups, trustees and

yes our very own President

Fletcher.

Helmut double checks his app fighting a genuine grin.

HELMUT:

This is the school radio?

13 INT. ARMSTRONG / PARKER HALL - DAY 13

A pristine pair of Retro Jordans make their way through the

halls of Armstrong / Parker where Black students have lively

debates, flirt and bump the student radio.

SAM (O.S.)

Dear White People, thanks to the

new process of randomizing housing

assignments for Sophomores, some of

you may be jarred by an assignment

to Armstrong/Parker house.

The owner of the Jordans is revealed as Troy Fairbanks.

TROY:

Someone turn that trash off.

SUPERIMPOSE:
TROY FAIRBANKS, SENIOR, POLITICAL SCIENCE

Even with his post workout sweat he looks like the cover of

Jet. Troy exudes “approachable homie” as he spots a small

group of WHITE SOPHOMORES who walk timidly down the hall.

TROY (CONT’D)

Newbies right?

The white sophomores nod their heads yes.

TROY (CONT’D)

Welcome to Armstrong / Parker, home

of the dopest dining hall in all of

Manchester. I’m Troy, Head of

House.

SOPHOMORE:

What’s up my brother?

8.

SAM (O.S.)

When encountering a Black person

try and stay calm. Don’t say things

like “what’s up” and “my brotha”

That’s not how you normally talk.

TROY:

Ya’ll take care. Nice Jordan’s bro.

Coco and SOFIA FLETCHER, a dewy-eyed, pink lipped brunette

who exudes a kind of sexy boredom saunter down the halls.

SOFIA:

Your hair is so cute B. T. Dubs.

COCO:

You’re so cute.

SOFIA:

Is it weaved?

Coco’s face is a battle between fury and polite surprise.

SOFIA (CONT’D)

I saw “Good Hair” in Afro studies.

COCO:

(moving on)

Hey what house did you get?

SOFIA:

Huh? Oh Bechet b*tch.

COCO:

Of course. The mere thought of a

Fletcher anywhere else...

SOFIA:

Easy, it was the luck of the draw.

Daddy had nothing to do with it.

Coco rolls her eyes behind a smile.

SOFIA (CONT’D)

And honestly, if I had to pick

anywhere to be it’d be here.

Sofia eyes the delicious morsels of chocolate boys about.

COCO:

I’m down to switch if you are. You

get your Denzel. I get my Gosling.

9.

SOFIA:

Oh I got mines. Want to meet him?

They turn the corner to spot Troy greeting more new

Sophomores. Coco’s caught off guard by his looks.

COCO:

Cute...

(off Sofia’s jealous

glance)

...for a Black boy.

Troy sees Sofia and flashes his trademark grin. They kiss.

SOFIA:

Hey boo. This is my friend Coco.

She’s new to the house.

TROY:

Hey I’m Troy. Welcome to Armstrong

/ Parker, home of the dopest --

SOFIA:

-- Are we on duty?

TROY:

Head of House is always on duty.

COCO:

Nice to meet you. I should get

settled. Thanks Sof!

Sofia and Troy smile as Coco turns to go - and continue down

the hallway. Coco sneaks one last glance at Troy’s ass.

TROY:

Think I got time for a quick cut?

SOFIA:

You got it cut last week.

TROY:

It’s a Black thing babe.

SOFIA:

Since when is OCD a Black thang?

TROY:

Don’t say “thang” like that.

SOFIA:

Besides you’ve got a shift at the

Politicos booth, then a shift at

Orientation, then your advisor --

10.

TROY:

-- I’ll just wear a hat.

SOFIA:

Then a movie maybe? Just us?

TROY:

Election night. Babe, come on.

Sofia holds her tongue. Troy ignores this as he spots...

TROY (CONT’D)

Yo, Kurt my man.

14 DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS 14

...Kurt Fletcher - flanked by guys who share his cynical

knowing glare. We recognize them from the “Pastiche” portrait

from before.

As they chow down on Mac & Cheese in the Dining Hall - Kurt’s

glare burns particularly hot towards Troy who waves at him.

KURT:

Sis.

Sofia smiles at her brother Kurt. Troy covers the sting of

his dismissal.

They both spot Sam’s “Missing: Black culture” flyers.

TROY:

Is she kidding with this?

SOFIA:

You don’t have to run again. Just

because it’s her doesn’t mean -

TROY:

-- I can’t let Sam and her wannabe

Black Panthers take the House. The

House needs me. This is who I am.

SOFIA:

It’s who he wants you to be.

Troy smiles over his irritation. This is an old fight.

TROY:

Oh so you pick up a Psych class you

think you Freud or something? Huh?

SOFIA:

A Freud reference. Sophisticated.

11.

TROY:

(seducing)

Fine Beck, Jung, Maslow...

Troy gets a kiss out of her as they pass a booth featuring

stacks of Sam’s “EBONY & IVY.” The booth is manned by REGGIE,

21, Black - his fro top and preppy punk attire is both

bohemian and radical.

Troy glares at Sam’s picture on the book. It’s on. There’s a

history between Sam and Troy. Off Reggie’s laptop we hear...

SAM (O.S.)

Dear White People, this just in.

Dating a Black person to piss off

your parents is a form of racism.

Sofia walks off as Troy hears snickers from around him.

REGGIE:

Yo Troy I forget. Is your major in

shucking or was it jiving?

TROY:

My major’s in Jive. Minoring in

Shuck. You’re still majoring in

trying to f*** my left overs right?

Troy walks off as Reggie and Kurt watch him join Sofia.

SOFIA:

You need a shower.

15 INT. TROY’S BATHROOM - DAY 15

Water runs while Troy takes a hit of weed from a pipe over

the toilet. He blows the smoke out an open window through a

paper towel tube with a dryer sheet attached to its end. He

jots something down on a notepad as he whispers...

TROY:

You went from ODB to Trey Songz...

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