Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father Page #5

I was going to come here

for the two years,

then I was going on to Australia

for two years,

work my way around the world.

And then I was going

back to Devon.

And I wasn't

going to get married

because that was not on my list

of things to do at all.

I was in the Navy,

stationed on an aircraft

carrier, the Hornet,

in Long Beach, California.

A guy came into the shop

one day, E.T., electronics shop,

and said he had

two English nurses

who wanted to go to Disneyland.

We were too cheap

to pay the fare.

Yeah, two cheap English nurses.

And I took the little one

and left him with the tall one.

And, uh, they didn't work out

so well, but we did.

We went out 13 times

in the first two weeks.

And he could quote Shakespeare,

by the way,

so I knew it was all right.

Five months later, I'm married.

So we moved down to San Diego

and started working on a baby.

But nothing happened.

We tried to get pregnant

for a year, two years,

with no result.

At some point, they mentioned

that they might adopt.

And then, I mean,

it was like a miracle.

Coming to St. Louis and sleeping

in my mother's bedroom

seemed to make people pregnant.

And then, of course,

Andrew didn't come.

He was two weeks late.

Things people should know

about Andrew.

He was never late.

Hi. It's Heather.

It's 9:
00 Thursday.

Shirley went into labor

around 3:
00 in the afternoon,

Newfoundland time.

On July 18, 2002, you were born.

Shirley named you

Zachary Andrew Turner.

You grandma and grandpa came

to the hospital to see you,

but Shirley wouldn't let them

in the door.

The stood five feet away from

you on the other side of a wall.

They left a gift for you.

Well,

your dad was an amazing person.

You're gonna get

such a broad range

of different perspectives

of this guy.

You're gonna know

what his character was like

and you're gonna know

what fun he was to be with

and you're gonna know

that you can be proud of him.

I flew to England

to collect the memories

of your grandma's side

of the family for you

and arrived just in time

for a very special occasion.

Well, we're on the eve

of my wedding, for a start.

It's been a bit hectic.

We're just trying to fit

this interview

in between

all of the preparations.

Your dad crossed the Atlantic to

come here almost every summer,

but instead of heading to the

tourist attractions in London

like everyone else,

he'd head to the outskirts

to spend time

with his grandparents, aunts,

uncles, and cousins.

He was a king to me, man.

Seriously, man.

And, in particular,

with his cousin John.

The main thing, I guess,

about being an only child

is that I get to choose

my brothers.

Others of you don't.

Sorry.

John, me brother, and Andrew

were born within a month

of each other.

In fact, I think

it was about 30 seconds

of the normal child,

"Who are you? Who are you?"

And then suddenly, snap,

that was it.

We often said at least

they would have each other

through life.

John would always have Andrew,

and Andrew

would always have John.

For me, kind of blur

into this haze of me and Andrew

running around castles,

country homes, gardens.

I mean, these fantastic

historical places.

And, to us, they were places

to play hide and seek,

buy water pistols,

shoot each other,

and then get told off

and thrown out.

The interesting thing

always was,

just like

the cultural differences

between someone coming

from the U.S.

and someone in the U.K.

That used to really bug me,

the fact that I knew he was

going to get "Star Wars"

kind of 6 months before me,

that was a killer.

'Cause, you know, it'd be like,

"Don't you dare tell me anything

about this film!"

He was almost kind of, as well,

my kind of chaperone

into discovering the U.S.,

really.

You hear people discriminate

against a whole country

just in one fell swoop.

But I was fortunate enough to

know very differently to that.

I really cherish that,

because it is my brother

that got married here tonight.

Bizarrely enough,

one of the things

is I always wanted Andrew

to be my best man at my wedding.

As I would soon find out,

he was in good company.

I had always wanted him

to be my best man.

I had asked him

to be my best man.

It just made sense

to have him as best man.

I can only assume

that you would have asked him

to be your best man.

Everybody grab your glass.

We're gonna turn it over

to the best man, Andrew.

Best man's a little bit of a

poor title for these things.

I mean,

the best man's really the groom.

I've got to try and sum up

in, like, 2 minutes or so,

'cause, you know,

then people will start looking

at their champagne and thinking,

"Bagby, shut up or die."

I miss him.

A lot.

That I wish he was here

at the wedding with us.

That I'd just

like to sit him down

and talk to him again.

Just to have him here with us.

I really believe

your dad was there that day.

And if we could have heard him

give his toast,

it might have sounded

something like this...

Why am I standing up here?

I guess part of it

I've already said.

We're brothers and I love you

and I know you love me and...

Yeah. I kind of need to move on

from that.

'Cause, like I said,

I'm a Bagby male.

We don't gush very much.

It made me realize

that it doesn't matter

where you come from.

You can meet someone

and, literally, within minutes,

you can be closer than someone

you've known for 20 years.

And someone who'll maybe

just end up being a friend

for the rest of your life.

And last question.

Is there anything

you'd like to say to Zachary?

Zachary.

Right.

Yeah, I hope to see you soon,

Zachary, anyway.

Jackie had been down earlier

in the day to file the papers

that we wanted custody

of the baby.

We finally went to court.

- You mean family court.

- Yes, family court.

You know,

they negotiated with her.

I think you know that already,

and what access they got

with Shirley, they negotiated.

We're coming up with agreements

with this accused murderer.

And then Shirley Turner came up

with something else

just at the moment

when it was all looking good.

She always did that

so that it was extended.

It was like, "I don't have to

pay for my lawyer.

You have to pay for yours,

so the longer I can make it,

it's better.

You'll run out of money."

But then she finally agreed

to give us one hour a week

in Unified Family Court.

Shirley delayed your grandma

and grandpa from meeting you

for almost a month

and had them treated like common

criminals in order to see you.

She required that during

their one-hour visit,

they be fully searched

and monitored by a supervisor

while she waited

in the next room.

When did you first meet him?

Meet him personally or meet him

by seeing the light

in Kate and David's eyes?

I mean, we were searched

and everything.

I couldn't wait

for them to search.

I would've zipped off

all my clothes and been...

as long as I could get

into that baby, you know?

We went around the corner,

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