Deathtrap Page #2

On deathtrap?

Surely, if it's as good

as you say it is,

It wouldn't hurt

if it got a little bit

Of the old sidney bruhl

polish and pizazz.

What do you think,

my darling darling?

And don't tell me

that an absolute amateur

Wouldn't be thrilled at

the chance of working with you.

You mean,

i sex it up a little

And then split

But of course

i'd get top billing.

Why not? On the basis

of who you are.

You sure you don't

mean who i was?

Sidney!

You were and are...

The author

of the murder game,

The longest-Running

thriller

In the history

of broadway.

God.

I hadn't realized.

You mind the failure

as much as i do,

Don't you, myra?

I expect

it was rather fun

Being married to

that sidney bruhl.

Ah, well.

Nothing recedes

like success.

Oh, darling, call him.

Call him now.

Where does he live?

Up in quogue.

You don't like

the mace?

No, definitely not.

Blood on the carpet.

Then the next day

helga ten dorp's out there

Picking up

psychic vibrations.

Helga ten dorp

from holland?

I hardly think

that's likely.

Oh, i knew it! I knew

you'd gone blank with boredom

The other night at nan's.

They never stopped

talking about it.

Helga ten dorp, she's taking

the prisky cottage for 6 months.

Paul wyman's

representing her.

A big book

and u.S. Promotion.

My god, darling, paul

was impersonating her

For 20 minutes

the other night.

Oh, is that

what he was doing?

I thought he was finally

coming out of the closet.

Ha ha ha ha.

Anyway,

about miss ten dorp,

I don't think paul's agency

would handle her, darling,

If she weren't genuine.

Oh, listen, nan and tom had her

over for dinner last week.

She told tom

all about his backaches,

All about the money

he lost in silver futures,

And all about his father's

thing for tall women.

Oh, and she found

a set of keys

That nan lost in 1969,

darling.

They were right there

under the clothes dryer.

You know,

right this minute,

She's probably down

there with her radar

Picking up your blips.

My word.

That does

give one pause.

She's really fantastic.

The european police

Believe implicitly

in her, darling.

That's half

of why she's here.

She's supposed

to be resting up

From pointing

at murderers.

Is the larder

up to another pot of tea?

Hmm.

Look, the same

bloody key ring

From both millie

and tom.

[Laughing]

Darling, you know,

i really do think

That you should call

mr. Anderson.

Wait a minute.

The fat one didn't

stay the full week,

And his name was quen--

Quincy?

Something beginning

with a "q."

Anderson. Anderson.

I wonder if anderson was

the one with the stammer.

[Laughing]

My god, they all seemed

so dim and underdone.

Would you

listen to me?

Did you hear

what i said?

I think you should

call mr. Anderson.

You have not got

a thing to lose.

Myra.

What?

Have i gone through

everything?

Yours and mine?

Is that why you want me

to phone this guy?

No, darling,

it's not the money.

I'm ok, which means

you're ok, dopey.

Darling,

you're a writer.

All writers go through

periods like this.

All you need

is a change of pace.

Anything.

A collaboration.

To work with

someone young.

Younger.

Don't you see?

By teaching

mr. Anderson,

You'll get yourself

started again.

Darling, really,

I think it is a god-Sent

opportunity.

I really do.

Call him.

The mace

would be quicker.

Oh, sidney, be serious.

Sidney, what's

the matter with you?

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. You did have

a bad night, didn't you?

[Laughs]

I think that you're thinking

that after last night

You actually would kill

to have another hit play.

Do you know what this play

would net its author

In today's market?

Between

$3 and $5 million.

And that is without

the deathtrap t-Shirts.

Now, if that isn't a thinking

man's motive for murder,

I don't know what is.

"362-1894."

[Dialing phone]

Hello.

Is this, uh,

clifford anderson?

Sidney bruhl.

Yes, i have,

And i must say,

in all sincerity,

This is a very promising

first draft.

A trifle unsteady

at the odd moment,

But it has

all the makings.

Oh, yes.

I know that feeling

so well.

I thought the murder game

was finished

The first time round,

But then i gave it

to someone

With real theater

experience.

They took it in hand

and helped me revise it.

I hate to think

what would have happened

If i had sent it out

in its original form.

Well, actually,

it was george s. Kaufman.

Yes, but he wouldn't

take any credit,

Though

i urged him to.

But, um, listen,

What sort of reaction

have you had from other people?

Oh.

No one at all?

Well, uh, that's, uh,

that's very flattering.

I mean, but you must've

shown it to someone.

I mean, uh, your wife,

your friends,

Um, other people

at the seminar?

Oh, i see.

Well, that sounds like

an ideal situation for a writer.

Yeah.

Oh, yes, of course.

Yes, another thriller.

It's about a woman

with esp.

It's based on--On, uh,

helga ten dorp.

You know,

the dutch psychic?

She's a neighbor

of ours.

It's called

the frowning wife.

Yes, well, that's

just a working title.

I loved deathtrap,

incidentally.

Both the title

and the play.

Well, yes, i have,

But i mean too many

to go over on the phone.

As a matter of fact,

i'm free this evening.

Yes.

Why don't you drive over?

It's not very far.

Oh. Hmm.

Well, i tell you what,

you get a train,

And i'll come

and pick you up

At the easthampton

station.

All right?

The what?

The 7:
29.

Oh, that'll be fine.

Oh, uh, um, and would you bring

the original copy with you?

Yes.

I--I think it's best that we

have 2 copies to read from.

And the carbon's

a little bit hard

On these weary

old eyes.

Yes, well,

we'll make that 7:29.

Um, yes.

Well, i'll see you then.

Oh, and, um, clifford,

Um, i may be

a few minutes late,

I have some errands

to run. Yes.

So wait for me

by the station,

And i'll be along

eventually.

I'll be in

a brown mercedes.

Yes. All right.

Well, bye-Bye, then.

I'll see you later.

What errands

do you have to run?

Oh, i thought you said

something about library books.

Picking them up,

taking them back.

No, i didn't.

I--I don't think i--

I don't think i did.

Well, i thought you did.

I did?

The xerox

has been mended.

But he wants to wait

a couple of days

In case i have

any small suggestions.

No one else

has read it.

No one else even knows

he's working on it.

He's house-Sitting for

a couple who are in europe,

And he's unmarried.

His car...

Is in the garage

for repairs.

[Laughs]

So, no one will see you

picking him up.

That's right.

Why did you ask him

to bring the original?

Because we need 2 copies.

I don't want him

Leaning over my shoulder

all evening,

Jeering at my ring-

Around-The-Collar, do i?

Yes, but won't he have

another carbon copy

Lying around somewhere?

And notes and rough drafts

and outlines.

And on opening night

of my dazzling triumph,

His gray-Haired

old mother

Will come tearing

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