Delirious

---

Hey, Les.

- Hey, Ricco. What've we got?

- K'harma's inside.

- Is Jace with her?

- Yeah, they're eating lunch.

Hey, what's going on in there?

Get the f*** out of here, kid.

We're working.

Alright guys, forget it.

She's not coming out. Okay?

Come on, Mitchell, one shot.

No. Now I need

you all to step back at least

Okay? Please. Thank you.

You're in my spot, man!

Yeah? I don't see

douchebag written on it.

Hey, man.

That's his f***in' spot, man.

Get your hands off me,

you f***in' paparazzi!

Rule number one... the bigger

the ass the bigger the a**hole.

- Yeah. He's got a big ass!

- You f***in' pig.

- I'm a licensed professional too.

- Chill out, bro'.

He ain't worth it.

The fat f***in' pig.

I can't believe

he just took your spot.

Welcome to my world, kid.

- I want a coffee. who wants coffee?

- I'll take one.

I could use a coffee.

Who's going?

I'll go.

- Yeah, send the kid.

- Send him.

Yeah, I could get coffee.

You want coffee?

- Get three regulars. Alright?

- No problem. Three regulars.

You better

come back with my change.

I'm coming right back.

Three regulars.

One, two three.

Be right back.

- Light and sweet.

- Make mine black. Dark black.

Great idea, send

a crackhead to go get coffee.

Careful.

How did they even know

I was here? Did you tell them?

I'd never do such a thing, Miss

Leeds. If you just bear with me...

I've got something to tell you, man.

My burger wasn't even done.

My personal apologies, sir.

Come back as my guest any time.

I'm just saying, it was like

all red and sh*t. I hate that.

Hold on a second.

Let me check something.

Hey. I don't want them taking

my picture. I just want to leave.

You know, I can do things.

I'm good.

I could work for free.

I could get you coffee.

Hey you, do me a favor.

Look down there.

Are they looking?

Yeah, they're looking.

- We can't do it.

- Oh, sh*t.

Back up.

- Ten feet.

- Okay.

I lost my shades.

- Let me have yours.

- No.

Come on.

The light's f***in' up my eyes.

Everyone knows

it's you anyway. K'harma.

Or sometimes known as

Instant K'harma.

- Don't say that.

- I'm just kidding, babe.

How about now?

Are they looking?

Hold it. Hold it.

- Ok, come on. You can go.

- Go. Quickly.

Thanks.

K'harma?

Go, go, go, go!

Go!

What the f*** is wrong with you?!

F***!

Hey.

- What the f*** are you doing, man!

- Sorry, man.

Don't f***in' sneak up on me

like that! You following me?

No. Do you remember me?

I was...

- I got coffee for you guys.

- So?

There was change left.

I didn't want you

to think I was stiffing you

on the change. You know? 23 cents.

Jesus. Just keep it.

Keep it? Thanks. Thanks, man.

It's going to help.

Hey, do you think

I could crash here?

What?

I'm f***in' freezing, man.

Do you think maybe I could crash?

I'll be out in the morning.

Just on your floor or something?

On your stairwell.

What am I, a f***in' hotel?

No.

Go to a flophouse. Find yourself

a cardboard box or something.

What the f*** you want from me?

Please.

Hey man, I really

appreciate this.

It's a nice spot.

You been here awhile?

- Are you gay?

- No. I mean...

Look, I don't give a sh*t.

It's just that I got a lot of chicks

coming over and I don't want

to give them the wrong idea.

No, I'm not gay.

Whatever. I go with

the flow, that's my motto.

Otherwise you snap

like a toothpick.

- You know what I'm saying?

- Yeah.

- It ain't the Ramada Inn. Okay?

- It's great.

What'd you say your name was?

Toby.

These are nice pictures.

Nice? They're f***in' great.

I got that from 75 feet away.

Elvis Costello.

That guy's like a musical genius.

Got the black and white first

then I switched to color before he

had time to put on his f***in' hat.

How many shots you see

of Elvis Costello without his hat?

That's a rarity.

Cool.

Hey! Don't touch that, man.

What are you doing?

That's a collector's item.

Oh, Christ.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

That's your covers.

Like I said, this ain't a hotel.

This is perfect, man.

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

What're you, homeless or what?

I'm moving around right now.

Think I could be an actor.

I'm trying to be an actor.

Well, Toby,

the most important thing

- I can say to you right now...

- Yeah?

Don't touch anything.

- Buenos noches.

- Yeah, good night.

Hey! what are you doing?

Hey, man.

I fixed your bike.

The chain fell off.

Why's it so hot in here?

I got your radiator working.

The valve was stuck.

It was painted shut. It was kind

of a b*tch. But I got it open.

And I took a shower.

I hope you don't mind.

I unclogged your drain.

The water's draining good now.

What the f***

are you talking about, man?

What?

You think I'm going

to pay you for this sh*t?!

No, man, I'm just

returning the favor.

I'm going to get out of here.

I'll see you around.

- See you.

- Thanks.

I was wondering do you ever need

anybody to like help out or?

Nope.

You wouldn't have to pay me it would

just be like free or whatever.

Well, what is it?

What's what?

Is it for free or is it whatever?

Free.

Totally for free, man.

This room is off limits

unless I'm here.

- Alright?

- Okay.

Rule number one...

no looky, no touchy.

This is the nerve center

of my business

and I don't want you screwing it up

by playing solitaire

or jerkin' off on the internet.

No problem.

"Go with The Flow." That's

pretty funny, with the mouse...

Yeah. Get in here.

We got work to do.

Here's your first job.

Clean out this closet. Alright?

Half this stuff I don't even use

anymore now that I've gone digital.

I can just take a shot, e-mail it

around the world in 10 seconds.

Ever hear that,

"Shot heard 'round the world?"

That's Eminem, right?

Eminem. what the f***

is wrong with you?!

It's a famous saying.

"Shot heard 'round the world."

That's what I'm aiming for.

Yeah. So, you going

to throw away some of this junk?

This is a collector's item.

My old man gave this to me.

I happen to be very close to him.

What about this?

No. That' my book.

Starting next week

I'm going to take this

around to all the agencies.

Get that high-end work:

Nike, Ralph Lauren...

So you're not going to be

a paparazzi anymore?

I told you, I'm not a paparazzi.

I'm a licensed professional.

- Okay.

- Rule number one...

they're are players and they're

peons. I happen to be a player.

I got nothing

against the paparazzi.

Without them this whole

celebrity game would crumble

like a f***in' house of cards.

- Who buys the pictures?

- Yeah, right.

No, I'm asking you

a question. who buys them?

- Oh, the magazines buy the pictures.

- Magazines.

Who buys the magazines?

People. Why? To see the Stars.

Magazines get rich,

the stars get famous.

All because I get a shot

of K'harma kissing her boyfriend.

You got a picture of that?

No.

I almost did though, except

some a**hole tipped them off!

F***in' a**hole.

You know what I did get?

I got a shot of

Goldie Hawn eating lunch.

Wow! Goldie Hawn.

Yeah. Very classy lady...

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