Deliver Us from Evil

I am here because...

I recognize...

in my life there has been

a major imbalance,

mainly caused by...

what I have done in a criminal way.

I want to promise myself

that this is going to be

the most honest...

confession of my life,

and in doing that,

I need to make

the long journey backwards

to understand what I did,

to acknowledge that,

in some way to make

reparation for it,

and to let those

whom I have offended

know that, if possible.

Basically what I want

to say to them is, you know,

it should not have happened.

It should not have happened.

When I saw him the first time,

oh, I think it was love at first sight.

- I agree.

- I really do.

It was easy to talk to her.

It must be.

We've been together 41 years now.

But he wasn't really practicing Buddhism.

He used to go with me to church.

Yeah. Before I even met you,

I think I used to go to the chapel,

just for peace and quiet,

you know, so...

But then I still had to go to Ireland

and talk to Maria's dad

and ask for her hand.

- By then you were baptized.

- Yeah.

- I think that was a big concern for my family.

- Yeah.

We got married

December 26, 1964.

I told Maria, I said,

"Would you like to go to the States?"

It was a big step,

but, you know, I was willing

to go anywhere Bob was going.

Yeah.

Ann was born May 9, 1966.

Yeah, a bundle of joy, really.

- She really was.

- Yeah.

'Cause Bob was working

12 hours a day.

We'd get dressed up,

and we'd go outside

and wait for Bob

when he was coming home.

Oh, she'd say, "Hi, Daddy,"

and give me a hug

and kiss, you know.

She was a perfect

little lady, you know.

You could take her anyplace.

In her own little way,

she was taking care of me.

So then I went to work

one day a week,

and then we decided

we'd buy a house... this one.

This one here.

The one and only house we got.

I was raised a really

strict Catholic in Ireland.

I mean, that was our life.

Yeah, and...

There is no other religion.

I thought she was a shining example

of a good Catholic

who had faith in her religion

whether I accepted all the beliefs

of the Catholic Church or not.

But I believed something...

And, you know, you raise

your kids that way, you know.

That was part of our life.

- It was our life, actually.

- It was.

I found peace there,

and, you know, comfort, I guess.

Some people are born

to be leaders,

some people are born to follow,

et cetera, you know.

I like helping people,

and, as one of my priest

friends said to me once,

he said, "You're a people person. "

And I think that helped a lot to say,

"Hey, I finally reached what...

or I'd like to do.

"I think this is what I want to do.

I think this is

what I'm called to do. "

I like to be with people.

I felt I was good with people.

I felt I was good with children.

I've often asked myself,

Why did I...

Why do I like children so much?

What do I want to do for them?

I feel compassionate to children

that I see sort of cornered and...

who image what I was

when I was their age

and did not have

somebody to turn to.

I tend to want to reach out

to people like that.

First time we met him was in 1971.

I was so excited to meet

somebody from home.

And I'd only been here,

like, five years at that time.

He would come and spend

his days off here.

He had a really strong Irish accent

at that time,

so we used to help him

with his sermons,

and Ann would go places with him.

Ann Jyono.

Little Ann... Ann was one

of the first people I met there,

or at least her parents.

Her mother was Irish,

father was Japanese...

of Japanese extraction, I think...

and was very welcome

at their home

for many, many years

of my time in Lodi.

I could, and was often

invited, to sleep over there.

Perhaps that's where

some of the problems began

in that... in Ann's situation.

There are two types

of people in the Church:

The hierarchy in the sacred

pastures, as they call them,

who are picked out by God to lead,

and the vast throng

who are the lay people,

and their duty is to be docile,

obedient followers.

It says that.

The system, it's a monarchy.

All power rests in individuals,

and so the system

protects those individuals

because it believes

that that is the will

of the higher power,

of the Almighty:

That He wants those individuals

to be powerful in order to control

this portion of reality called Earth.

And that's, I think, is...

It may sound simplistic

and like science fiction,

but that, in fact, is what it is.

I was...

a student for eight years at Holy Spirit,

which is in the Sacramento Diocese,

and they had some kind

of advertisement to Camp Pendola,

and it was my first time ever

going away to camp.

None of my friends

went to school there.

I didn't know

anybody else there,

and I actually wrote

a letter to my mom

that she had...

On the back of the envelope,

I said I met a new friend,

and his name was Father O'Grady.

I remember him coming

on a sleep-over with the other girls,

and a couple of days later,

the other girls breaking out

with poison oak,

and them telling me

that I didn't have poison oak

'cause I slept with Father.

And I think the thing

that I'm going to regret most

is that I allowed myself to...

just to cuddling alongside her

in bed one night

when she was visiting with me.

I would...

label it love and concern...

hugging, embracing.

That tended to...

satisfy me and...

in a way that took care of my need

to reach out to somebody, you know.

From there, I don't know

how the relationship started,

that he got my address,

that he got in contact with my parents.

He...

came over to the house

a couple of times.

My mother's from Argentina,

so she has more

of a trusting attitude.

She had told him, I think,

that I was pulling away

from the family a little bit.

She thought it was a good idea

for me to spend time with him.

If somebody asked me,

"Where was," you know,

"What...

What kicks the bucket for you?"

Whatever the thing is.

"What triggers things off for you?"

You know, "What areas would be?"

And, if given a variety

of areas to consider,

you know, I'd have to say

certainly on the younger level.

That's where a lot of that surfaced.

And if they said to me,

"Well, do you feel aroused

when you see women?"

I'd probably say no.

"Do you feel aroused

when you see men?" No.

"Do you feel aroused

if you've seen children?"

I'd say, "Well, maybe. "

"How about children who are...

in swimsuits?"

I'd say, "Yeah. "

"How about children in underwear?"

I'd say, "Yeah," you know?

How about...

"If you thought you saw children naked?"

And I'd say, "Mmm, yeah. "

My last memory...

of Oliver...

is severe...

pain...

before I black out.

Years ago, Case was Pastor of St. Anne's,

and the parents called Case,

and said to him,

"You know, when we

picked up our daughter,

"she was not herself at all.

"She was very nervous

and looked very jumpy

and looked extremely anxious. "

I mean, he took me out of the house.

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