Demonic Toys

I win. I win war.

I win. I win.

War.

And that's where

it always ends.

That's a pretty

weird dream, Jud.

I see all sorts of frying

possibilities there.

Probably some sort of

sexual thing, you know?

You know, I knew we should

have never moved in together.

You don't take me

seriously anymore.

We were right to

move in together.

And now that you mentioned it,

maybe we should, get married.

Look, I got nothing against

marriage, it's just, you know,

we should get married when we're

ready to have kids, you know.

Do you want kids?

I mean, 'cause we never really

talked about it or anything.

Yeah, sure, someday,

you know.

Sh*t.

Where are they?

Relax, they'll be here.

I've been through

this a million times.

You'll get used to it.

They always like to come late,

keep the other guy waiting.

You know, Matt.

Sometimes you don't pick

up on things right away.

Hey, it'll be okay.

This would be a piece of cake.

Like now, for instance, I'm

trying to tell you something.

What?

I asked you how you feel

about having a kid for a reason.

Are you pregnant?

I found out this morning.

Well, that's great.

I'm going to be a dad.

Why didn't you tell

me this before?

You shouldn't be here tonight.

Oh sh*t, here they are.

Look, you stay in the car,

let me take care of this.

Oh, don't be stupid, Matt.

You got your piece?

Yeah, but I just think

it'd be better if you...

Then let's dance.

[Pause]

Cable. Miss me?

Oh, yeah, I like you

with a fire that burns.

He's been my loins.

Me too.

It must be love.

Who's the femme?

That's my investor.

I'll take a bite.

F*** you.

Meow.

Are you going to

show us something?

Are you going to stand here

and jerk us off all night?

Hey, Hesse, I love

this guy, I really do.

Yeah, I'm going to

show you something.

Come on.

Knock off some

Indonesia, the good stuff.

Single action.

You mean just for rear sight?

The one at stock and best

of all, no serial numbers.

Clean as a whistle

or a baby's bottom.

Knock it off, Lincoln.

[Pause]

Whatever floats your boat.

We got these babies

out of Russia.

Sell a lot to the cartels.

Bang-bang, Juno.

Hey.

No clip, man.

All right.

How much?

40 K for the whole lot.

What do you say?

I say, you're under arrest.

Matt. Matt.

Oh, sh*t. Oh, baby, no.

No.

Oh, god. You bastards.

God damn you.

My god, I'm hit.

Lincoln, Lincoln.

Lincoln.

Lincoln, I'm hit.

Lincoln!

Sorry, Guy.

Lincoln, help me.

Now you have almost enough.

Well that would

be Charnetski.

How do you know?

He always orders

at this time.

Let me have it.

Thanks for calling Country

Chicken, the best chicken

in town, your order please?

Get off the phone hammerhead

and let me talk to Mark.

It's for you.

[Pause]

What's up, Charnetski?

The regular.

Legs and breast and

none of that wing sh*t.

And bring me plenty of honey

for my f***ing movies time.

You a**holes always

skip on that.

Would you like that

extra crispy or chunk style?

Take a guess.

The chunk style.

That's my boy.

Now, get off your f***ing

ass and bring me my food.

You got it.

Mr. Wayne.

Mr. Wayne.

Is that cigarette in your mouth?

No. It's your dick.

[inaudible] out

please, this instant.

[Pause]

I don't think I like

your attitude, mister.

Well, I guess

that makes two of us.

You're being verbally

abusive to me, Mr. Peterson.

Where do you think you're going?

I'm going to deliver

Charnetski his food.

F*** you about your

attitude, it is not acceptable.

Now, I want you to make

sure you come right

out back here, mister.

Well, maybe I

won't come back.

Maybe I'll just fly your f***ing

chicken mobile into the river.

How do you like that?

No, man, what is wrong?

F***ing toys.

You're under arrest a**hole.

So you're cops, huh?

Well, I guess I know

that your partner,

going out there, didn't I?

Shut up.

It's okay.

It's okay 'cause I'm

going to be out on bail

by the end of the night b*tch.

This whole f***ing

thing is entrapment.

Hi Guy.

Thanks for coming.

I've been sleeping

for a long time.

Waiting for someone just

like you to wake me.

We're going to have a lot

of fun here tonight, friend.

We're going to raise hell.

What the f*** was that?

And your partner?

How the f*** should

I know, Miss Cop?

Sh*t!

Sh*t!

What's going on, lady?

We're locked in.

What! F***ing brilliant!

F***ing brilliant lady,

what are we going to do now?

We wait until morning.

Wait? No, no, no,

f*** that police lady,

you get me the f***

out of here now!

Now! 'Cause I got

my rights, lady!

You got to take me

in the county.

I got to make a phone call.

I got to talk to

my f***ing lawyer!

You don't get sh*t,

you killed my partner.

You're lucky I don't put a

bullet in your f***ing head

and call it self-defense.

Is that you, kid?

No, it's the Hillside

Strangler, let me in.

Hold your pants on.

Hey! Hey you, up here!

[Glass breaking]

Hey you, up here!

Hey! Hey!

Hey, up here!

You're a f***ing genius,

lady, a lot of good that did.

Now, there you are,

it took you long enough.

Yeah, it took

me the same amount

of time it takes me every night.

Here you go, twelve

o'clock, right on the dot.

You want a beer, kid?

Take a guess.

Thanks.

Hey, did you see Miss July?

Not yet.

Wrap your eyeballs

around them.

Ooh wow!

It sort of brings a

tear to your eye, though.

Yeah and something else.

You God damn, I need

them, son of a b*tches!

Look kid, how is work?

Ugh. It's a f***ing a

joke, chunking chicken Christ.

Peterson runs around like

he's got a board shoved

up his ass all the time.

Well, what do I tell you?

The world is your twin and all

the people in it are a**holes.

God damn economy.

Here's what you do.

You can do like I do.

Find yourself a niche.

Break yourself in.

Take my gun.

I mean I sit on my

ass, watch television.

Take a little hair

off your pooch.

That's a life.

Take this iguana

guy for instance...

Iguana?

Yeah, this guy who's

down the Costa Rica.

Starts raising the

little bastards.

Once you take up the space.

And it tastes just like chicken.

Everything tastes just like

chicken, you ever noticed that?

Frog legs, snakes, even

rabbits tastes like chicken.

Everything except this sh*t.

We're f***ed, lady.

Nobody knows we're up here,

nobody is going to

hear us up here.

No, no, no.

Did you hear that?

What?

Somebody ought to hear that.

Maybe I better go

out and check, huh?

You are the security guard.

Yeah but it could be a

cat or something, right?

Could be.

Yeah, it could be.

I'm going to tell you something.

If it's a bum, I'm going

to kick his goddamn ass.

There ain't nothing

in this place

to steal except some

goddamn old toys.

You stay here, kid.

Well, wait a minute.

What if someone comes back

here when you're gone?

There is an old shotgun

there in the locker.

I'll take my chances

with you.

Your choice kid, ain't close.

Anybody there?

I don't think

there's anything here.

I've sworn I heard

something, I don't know.

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