Derailed

Get ready for yard.

Get ready for yard.

- F*** you!

- What's his name again?

Fabrizio.

He's some

kind of tough guy, man.

Ready for yard, gentlemen.

Gangway!

Yard line.

- Come on, let's bail out.

- Gangway! Move it!

Move out!

Go in and out, man! In and out!

I ain't even sweatin' you, man!

F*** 'em up, man!

Come on, feed me, man!

F*** you!

Always good!

You're just a little punk, baby.

The morning it all began,

began like any other morning.

Oh! Oh, Bernie.

Dad, I need lunch money

and a note for gym.

And you promised to help me

with my book report, remember?

The author devotes a lot of time

to developing the characters,

and he seduces the reader by...

- Seduces?

- Yeah. He, uh, draws you in, you know?

- You wanna know how it ends.

- But I already knew how it ended.

OK, so write it was predictable.

- No, Dad, I mean I've seen the movie.

- Oh. Right.

Come on. You got to eat.

Cant you think of another word?

"Lntrigues."

"Lntrigues." Thanks, Mom.

You're smarter than Dad, you know that?

Yes, God help us if he finds out.

If Mom's so smart, maybe she

should help you with your book report.

See what I mean?

- I have a meeting, Dee.

- Yeah, I have meetings too.

Amy, your book report, your call.

Me or him?

I choose option O

where you two get me a tutor.

Yep. We've been through this.

Oh, jeez.

- Where is it?

- It's over there.

It's the hospital.

- Yep?

- Is this Mr. Schine?

Speaking.

I need to know

if Amy's levels have changed.

- No. No, the levels are the same.

- We need the latest results.

Yep.

Ill fax it over when I get to work.

Thanks.

You going to the ATM?

- Who wants to live forever, right?

- You have to stay positive.

- At least it's not going up.

- It's not going down, either, though.

Positive.

Amy, your bus'll be here soon.

Bye.

Bernie, you stay here.

You used to kiss each other

goodbye in the mornings.

Shut up.

Come on.

The author intrigues the reader

by twisting the narrative

so you never know what's coming next.

How's that?

Lt's all right.

The train on platform two

is the 7.50 Red Line service

to Chicago Central.

Calling at Central Street, Davis Street,

Main Street, Rogers Park,

Ravenswood, Clyburn

and Chicago Central.

Ticket.

Oh, sh*t.

- I meant to get one at the station.

- Nine dollars.

- Oh, gee. This is embarrassing.

- And it's only Monday.

My wife, she, uh, emptied my wallet

when she left for work this morning.

Oh, so it's the wife's fault, is it?

- Yeah. I'm trying to explain.

- It's nine dollars.

Pay up or get off at the next stop.

It's that simple.

- Ill pay for him.

- What?

No, no. You don't have to do that.

Don't worry about it.

One lucky guy.

No, really. It's my fault.

It's all right. I paid, didn't I?

Here you go. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Just so you know,

it wasn't an act or anything.

It was a shameless act,

and I'm a born sucker.

Just drop it.

- I don't want you to think...

- OK. I don't.

I mean, there's an ATM

at Union if you're getting off there.

Tomorrow is fine.

Of course, there is a ten percent

interest charge overnight.

- Interest charge.

- Plus the handling fee.

Ouch.

Never met a woman loan shark before.

- You break legs too?

- Just balls.

Oh. You're a lawyer.

I'm a financial advisor.

I cheat clients.

I'm a commercial executive.

I con housewives.

Where do you work?

JMD/March. It's a midsize place.

We've got some

semi-decent accounts. You?

Avery Price. It's a big place.

We don't do semi-decent accounts.

- This your usual train?

- Why?

- So Ill know how to pay you back.

- Nine dollars. I think Ill survive.

No, I gotta give it back.

I'd feel ethically impugned if I didn't.

Impugned?

Well, I wouldn't want you

to feel impugned.

So... if you take the same train

tomorrow, Ill pay you back.

It's a date.

Morning.

- Hey.

- What up, Chaz?

Ooh, yo, I got a good one for you.

Seven players, 40-plus home runs,

with 11 letters in their last names.

- Yastrzemski.

- Yastrzemski.

- You got to spell that for me.

- Morning, Charles.

Y-A-S-T-R-Z-E-M-S-K-I.

Barry, I need a cash check.

How much and what for?

for the Amerispend One shoot.

Don't forget to sign

the receipt this time.

- For you, Barry, Ill sign it in blood.

- Heard that.

OK, that's one. I need six more.

Um...

- Petrocelli.

- Petrocelli?

- Oh, Charles. Eliot's looking for you.

- P-E-T-R-O...

Oh, come on, yo.

That's only ten letters.

What else you got?

Come on, Chaz,

you got 'em all last week. I need this.

Oh, gee.

All right, Winston,

any of these guys National Leaguers?

I thought it was Major League or Minor

League. What's the National League?

- You don't follow baseball?

- No. Hockey's my game.

- More gore, less bore.

- Where'd you get the questions from?

This cop I know gives 'em to me.

Actually, he's like my uncle.

He's obsessed. Loves challenging me.

Said if I get it right, I get 100 bucks,

and you know I gots

to make that money.

Wait. You don't know the answers?

No. Duh.

That's why I come to you, Chaz.

Where you been? You're late.

- Come on.

- Sorry.

This is not a lady

who likes to wait, you know.

Susan.

- Charles.

- Hi.

I guess you're here

to raise our commission, eh?

We have some issues.

We feel like no matter

how much we talk to you,

we just don't get heard by you people.

This last commercial

is a case in point.

We agreed on a strategy.

We signed off on it.

Then what happened?

You went off

in all these other directions.

The cut you sent us, it's nothing

like how we said it should be.

Look, Susan, the directions

I took were, you know...

I've been doing this for ten years, OK?

I'm sorry.

Ill do it however it is

you want it done.

The time for apologies is over.

What we need now is change.

You don't want me on the account?

Uh, Susan appreciates all you've done.

You have different visions.

You might have backed me up in there.

Backed you up!

Susan Davis is a $130 million client.

- She's a b*tch.

- She's the worst kind of b*tch.

She has a point. You're in a rut,

my friend, and you know it.

Forget Susan Davis.

Get a new account, get back

on your feet, back to what you do best.

Goddamn it.

Talk to me, tell me what's going on,

maybe I can help.

Impugned.

That's a word, isn't it?

Shut up, Bernie.

I live here. Amy, please!

Bernie, cut it out.

- You're late.

- Sorry.

How was work?

Work was...

...fine. You?

Guess who's decided

to monitor me this week?

- Ethan Jeffries.

- Oh. The a**hole.

He always throws a fit

when I stray from the lesson plan.

There's a lot of that going around.

So, what did I do?

Handed out an English composition

in the math hour today.

He chew you out in front of the kids?

The title for the composition

was "Why We Like Principal Jeffries."

Uh, Jerry called.

There's a message on the machine.

Where you going?

I have a PTA meeting.

It's been on the calendar for six weeks.

Right.

Amy needs to be quizzed

for her history test,

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