Desire Will Set You Free Page #4

something years to realize

that I was this person.

That I exist.

Since people started to

see me as a male person

I could finally live the way I wanted to

and finally have sex the way I wanted to

because before it was

like for me being put

in this position of being a

woman, having sex with men,

it was just awkward.

I've always been a woman.

The thing is that people

think I'd be a man

'cause I'm such a butch.

Exactly.

And I look like a boy a bit.

But I've always been a woman,

I didn't know it earlier,

and I really thought I'd be

a man and I lived like that.

Trans women friends

always told me guys like me

don't exist, there's

only them, but one day

I found out about hormones.

Oh.

Speaking of hormones.

Some of us don't even have them anymore.

An older brother and I

was like he's got something

in between his legs which would

grow probably a little bit

later to me as well and

I was laying in bed like,

dear god, and tomorrow

I'm gonna have a penis.

And this is how I actually

thought it works, to be.

Just pray enough.

Yeah.

Pray hard enough and you

become what you really are.

Every day is a fight

but not just for us,

for everybody living life is a fight.

So you don't have to be

trans or something in between

to fight.

Some people, when I say I'm

trans they don't believe it.

I got to get naked or to show my scars.

So by getting naked on stage

it's a way to show people

that there are a lot of

different bodies and gender

and that I am one of them

and that they would have

not known if I would not

have shown that so it's like

a way for me to be really

myself and at the same

time playing a character

so it's really fun.

You should really do that.

Yes, totally.

Okay, we perform together.

And sometimes we have also sex on stage

and yeah it's fun and cool,

you have to try it out.

Nothing you can do but

just follow your dreams.

Either way the guys

get outta hand

But that just passes by

I loved it, thank you.

Here she is.

Hey.

Oh hey.

Yeah, right on, kid.

Often cultural capital

comes from economic capital.

One thing transforms into the other.

I like writing

these poems and pictures.

Sometimes they are songs.

You're a

hustler, you're a problem.

And in Russia?

In my hometown

living with my mother.

Sometimes I feel like a woman.

I don't know.

Humans just very complicated.

Actually, think

he came out as trans.

My parents took

it harder when I came out

as an artist than when

I came out as queer.

Are you nervous?

It's gonna be okay.

Let's just do one more, yeah?

F***.

This feels really weird to me in here.

Why?

You think he's gonna bomb?

I hope not.

Hurry up, you're gonna miss him.

You have some cum on your face.

Give that to me.

This place is f***ing so small.

Is that applause?

Did we miss it?

Don't worry, there's gonna be an encore.

Let's go.

Hey.

Hi.

Good to see you.

You too.

How was it?

It was good.

Did you miss?

Yeah, I just ran and got a coffee.

Oh, you got a coffee.

I should have gotten you one, I'm sorry.

No, it's fine, I'm okay.

Thank you.

I see an old friend of mine over there.

I think I will just go

and say hi, is it okay?

Okay, yeah, we can just meet later.

Okay, it's good.

Bye.

Bye bye.

Hey, Alexander.

Sasha.

Hey.

Hey.

How is it going?

Good.

Come, take a seat.

How are you?

Yeah, fine.

Bad guys have more fun.

Yes.

And, what do you make here?

I was in a meeting.

Yeah?

Yes.

What's that called again?

DOM.

DOM.

Yeah.

They are very good.

Yeah yeah.

The gay Russian community in Germany.

Yeah, you should come.

Yeah, it's wonderful.

But sorry, not for me.

Yeah I was thinking of going to Moscow,

help with the gay pride parade.

Are you crazy?

They will f*** you up over there.

Sasha, you were lucky

enough to make it here,

why the hell would you go back?

It's important.

Ah, this is crazy.

I have to.

Come get changed and

let's go for a drink, I pay.

Changed?

Yeah.

Thanks, I'm fine.

Say hi to Maxime.

Would you love me more

if I bought an apartment?

A fancy apartment?

We'll see.

What do you mean, we'll see?

What about if it had like

a moving camera butler.

Be firm in affairs of the heart.

Don't let the past distract the present.

This is an excellent time

to start a new love affair,

new vows, or to relocate.

So what could relocation mean like?

Have you guys been to Paris?

You would love it, all the cupcakes...

It's a romantic city

but I wish I spoke French,

I don't speak French at all

so I was like "Bonjour,"

and they look at me

and they're like, "Hello."

Like am I that American?

Apparently so.

I was going to go to

Ibiza when I was DJing.

Yeah, I love Spain.

Any excuse to go to Ibiza,

any excuse to go to Spain,

I'm there.

Cupcakes and men.

The tea is pink, it matches

the cupcakes, you're insane.

That is incredible.

It's sinful, you know,

all these hip openers.

Hips, hips.

I mean I love cupcakes and yoga.

This is my life.

Well you do yoga

so you can eat the cupcakes.

As much as I love sex,

I love food more, sorry.

I'm sorry but at what time should we go?

Oh, yeah, we should probably...

I think we.

I'm sorry, we gotta go.

Thank you so much for

the lovely.

Oh, thank you so much.

Is this one of the mango ones?

It's like orange.

You both got mango.

Thank you so much.

Ciao!

Cheers!

God, they are so cute

together, don't you think?

Are they together, together?

I don't know.

What's his name now?

Well I hope so because

Catherine was such a b*tch.

I know.

I think so too!

Think they're having sex now?

Like now?

That would be so hot.

Instead he arrived

here, overstayed his visa,

and now it's impossible for

me to give him permission

to stay here any longer.

I mean, can you help us?

Is there something we can do to fix this?

The question is what

should you have done before.

I mean you cannot just arrive

in a foreign country and...

There's gotta be something

that you can do for us.

I'm sorry.

He should have thought about it earlier.

What can I do?

Okay.

Good luck.

No!

Oh, wait a second, wait a second.

I heard about this.

Do you guys want to go?

Mentor to Young Perverts.

Oh, I know this guy.

He moved to Berlin a couple of years ago

and in this particular

book he mentioned everybody

that he met that he knew

and put us all down.

He exploits us all.

And I do not want to be part of that.

I don't think we should

grace him with our presence.

Yeah, I don't think so.

It's a great jacket.

Oh, thank you.

Where'd you get that jacket?

Actually my sister gave it to me.

Your sister.

She stayed in Berlin?

My sister.

No, she was here visiting.

'Cause this is kinda old school Berlin.

This wasn't like she was

here like a year ago, right?

She didn't buy this

in Berlin, in London.

Can't believe no one showed up.

The publishers did such a crap job

at promoting this event.

They must have something against me.

Racist b*tches.

Can you just enjoy yourself?

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