Desk Set

Penthouse.

Office of the president.

Is Azae in?

Mr. Azae's secretary

is right through that door.

Thank you.

Hello.

I'm Richard Sumner.

Would you tell him

I'm here?

Mr. Sumner?

Oh, Mr. Sumner!

I know Mr. Azae

is terribly anxious to see you, but...

What's the matter?

Well, excuse me, Mr. Sumner,

but you're a day early.

Your appointment

isn't until tomorrow.

Oh. Is this Monday?

No, sir, it's Tuesday.

And your appointment's

for Wednesday.

Well, why don't you just ring him,

tell him I'm here to see him.

I'm sorry, Mr. Sumner,

but Mr. Azae isn't in yet.

Oh. Oh, well...

Oh, uh, w-where's

the research department?

I might as well

have a look at that.

Research and Reference

is on the 28th floor... that's 2809.

- Who's in charge there?

- Miss Watson.

Would you like me to

write that down for you, sir?

Sure, if you want to.

2809.

Miss Watson.

- You're left-handed.

- Yes, sir.

Office is all wrong for you.

Light comes from

the wrong direction.

Desk should be reversed.

Wait a minute, sir.!

You forgot this.!

Hold it, please.

Reference department.

Miss Costello.

- Peg? Cathy?

- Yes, Cathy.

There's a character named Richard Sumner

on his way down to see you.

Richard Sumner?

What for? Who is he?

My other phone. I'll call you back.

Thank you for waiting.

Is this the Society

for the Preservation of Eskimo Culture?

This is Miss Costello of the

Federal Broadcasting Company,

and I'm trying to find out the truth

about the Eskimo habit of rubbing noses.

Yes, connect me.

I'll hold on.

Reference department. Miss Blair.

Yes, we've looked

that up for you,

and there are certain poisons

which leave no trace,

but it's network policy

not to mention them on our programs.

Reference. Miss Saylor.

Oh, yes.

I called earlier about that little black

velvet strapless you had in the window.

Hello. I'm trying to find out the truth

about the Eskimo habit of rubbing noses.

That isn't very much

of a reduction, is it?

Well, do they rub noses,

or don't they?

But I saw an identical one for

ten dollars less in a store downtown.

Never mind.

I'll call the Explorers Club.

And will you call me back?

Thank you.

Reference department.

Miss Costello.

- Cathy again.

- Yes, Cathy?

- About this Richard Sumner.

- Yes? What about him?

I don't know exactly who he is.

Some kind of nut, I think.

Or somebody very important.

Probably both.

Do me a favor. If he leaves your place,

find out where he's going.

Azae wants to see him.

Sure I will, Cathy.

Thanks.

Reference.

Miss Blair.

Yes, just a moment.

I'll switch you to our baseball expert.

Peg? On two.

Miss Costello speaking.

The highest lifetime

batting average?

Yes, that was held

by Tyrus Raymond...

Cobb...

with a percentage of.367.

No,.367.

Yes, I have that too.

He played only with the Detroit Tigers

for 21 years.

Mm-hmm.

You're quite welcome.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

- May I help you?

- No. No, thanks.

Interesting place here.

Do you mind if I look around?

Not at all.

- Make yourself right at home.

- Thank you.

- What do you suppose he's up to?

- Who is he?

Richard Sumner.

Azae wants to see him.

If he leaves here,

we're supposed to trail him.

- Where'd you get that?

- Cathy.

Catch anything?

Hello, Reference. Miss Saylor.

Oh. It's for you, Mr. Sumner.

Oh...

How'd you know my name?

Well, didn't you mention it?

- No.

- Oh.

Yes?

We've done a bit of juggling

with our appointments, Mr. Sumner.

Mr. Azae will be able

to see you today.

Well, just call me when he's ready.

I'll be right here.

Good.

Uh...

Would you hold this tape

for me, please?

And very nice, too.

- I mean hold it against the wall, Miss...

- Miss Blair.

- This is Miss Costello and Miss Saylor.

- How do you do?

Over against that wall.

Would you mind?

All the way over.

- Here?

- That's it. Good.

What's it gonna be?

Midget golf? Snack bar?

Is Miss Watson in?

- Miss Watson?

- She's the head of Reference, isn't she?

- Yes. She just stepped out.

- You think she'll be long?

No. She's probably on the 31 st floor,

having a conference with her boss.

What did you want to see her about?

Maybe I could help you.

No, I don't think so.

Well, why don't you step in there.

You'll be more comfortable in her office.

Thank you.

What do you suppose he's doing

all that measuring for?

You think we're

being redecorated?

Does he look like

an interior decorator to you?

No! He looks like one of those men

who's just suddenly switched to vodka.

Morning, kids. Wait till you see

what I snagged at Bonwit's.

- Shh! Quiet!

- Here, take this.

- What the...

- Take it, and look busy!

- What's going on here?

- You've been in conference all morning.

- What's the matter with you?

- There's a strange character in there.

He's been waiting for you.

- What have I done?

- Bunny, you're late.

According to the grapevine,

Azae sent him down here.

And in case he's anybody that

can do anything to anybody...

Really, you girls kill me.

I was here until 10:00 last night.

This morning I had to go to I BM...

to see a demonstration

of the new electronic brain.

And on my way here

I stopped at Bonwit's.

- So what am I gonna...

- Miss Watson?

Speaking.

My name is Richard Sumner.

Well, numerologically,

that's very good.

There are 13 letters in your name.

- You calculate rapidly.

- Up to 13, anyway.

This is a nice, cheerful office

you have. Do you like it here?

Yes, I love it. If I didn't work here,

I'd pay to get in.

Are you from the story department,

Mr. Sumner?

No. No, I'm not.

I wonder if we could have

a little talk in your office.

- Certainly. Go right in.

- Thank you.

- Sit down.

- Thank you.

Yes, Mr. Sumner,

what can I do for you?

I didn't want to say anything

in front of your staff,

because every time I mention

what I do, people go into a panic.

Good heavens.

What do you do?

I'm a methods engineer.

Is that a sort of

efficiency expert?

Well, that term

is a bit obsolete now.

Oh. Forgive me.

I'm so sorry.

I'm the old-fashioned type.

I thought I knew everyone in this

building, but I haven't seen you before.

Well, I've only been around

a few times, just wandering about.

Oh, I see.

Sort of a migratory engineer.

Yes.

Excuse me, Mr. Sumner.

What would a methods engineer

be doing in our little iron lung?

Well, you'd be surprised how

a little scientific application...

can improve

the work/man-hour relationship.

Mmm. Fascinating.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And time is money, so they say.

Mm-hmm. So I've heard.

Green thumb.

Yeah.

Reference.

Miss Watson.

Yes. Yes, he is.

It's for you.

Oh. Thank you.

Yes?

Yes, I'm here with her now.

We're having

a very nice little talk.

Well, I haven't

got into that yet.

It's a little too soon to evaluate.

But I think we're thinking

along the right lines.

Yes.

All right, Azae.

I'll be up in a few minutes. Bye.

- Azae.

- Yes, yes.

I'll have to come back later,

uh, Miss Watson.

You'll get to Azae's office

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