Desperately Seeking Susan Page #5

what's it all about?

The big picture,

you know what I mean?

Sure I do, Gar.

I mean, there...

There's more to life than

making money, right?

I mean, I know that. I mean...

Oh...

You know... You know how...

all time comes from a single

point in the universe?

- You know what I mean?

- No.

My husband.

We live in Fort Lee.

There are...

things happening in solar

systems so far away...

that we can't even see them.

I mean, what do... what do they care?

What do they care if I am

the spa king of New Jersey?

Hello. Glass house.

Hello?

- Hello?

- Spa king of New Jersey!

Spa king!

Could I call someone else? Please?

Go ahead.

All right. You in the pink tutu.

Let's go.

Nice to have met you.

She better have a good explanation!

You haven't seen her

and you're yelling.

I am not! I am wondering aloud why she

couldn't have called if she was in trouble!

Hear her side of it before

you do anything stupid!

Mr Glass. Sergeant Taskal.

Have a seat.

My sister Leslie.

She was arrested last night

on the Lower East Side.

She's in a holding tank downstairs.

I'll have her brought up.

I telephoned you as soon as I

realised the photographs matched up.

Hey, Ronnie. Taskal here.

Bring up Glass.

We're dropping the charges.

Her husband is here.

Well, obviously he hasn't

picked her up yet.

Oh, Roberta.

Let me see that.

Oh, my God.

Mr Glass, somebody paid your wife's bail

a little while ago and she was released.

You just missed her.

Who-Who paid her bail?

Boyfriend. Pimp. Who knows?

Pimp?

I don't know how to thank you, Dez.

I'm really sorry.

Consider it my final favour, Susan.

You are really living up

to your reputation.

See, now, that's just it, Dez.

That's it! I'm not

who you think I am.

- I don't care who you are.

- No, no, I didn't mean it that way.

It's really getting

complicated here. I'm not...

Sssh. Stay right there.

I don't believe it.

God!

I don't believe

Victoria would do this.

Oh, my God.

Maybe it was the guy who

grabbed me last night.

What?

The guy who grabbed you?

See, he was after me, Dez.

Well, not me exactly.

He was after Susan,...

wherever she is, who I'm not!

He thinks she's staying here,

which she isn't because I am...

I don't wanna hear it!

First of all, I get thrown out

on my ass on the sidewalk.

Then I have to fork up $200

bail to get you out of jail.

Now I come home and the whole place

is torn apart. Why, I don't know!

You know, I really don't need

this sh*t, Susan. I really don't.

Fine.

I'll leave.

Whoops!

You know, I could have been

killed last night, Dez!

I was really scared!

Forget it.

Sorry about this mess.

I can pay you back!

I'll send you a cheque.

Great. Another cheque.

Sorry.

Hey, hey, hey.

This mess isn't so bad.

I've had worse parties than this.

Richard Nolan and Bruce

Meeker were released...

pending appeal of their 1982

conviction for smuggling.

They are prime suspects in the

disappearance of the Nefertiti earrings...

from the Cairo collection

currently on display in New York.

Nefertiti? No sh*t!

It's not uncommon!

I've just read an article...

about a woman who turned

tricks in the city all morning...

and shopped all afternoon

before going home.

She did it for years before her

husband found out about it.

Roberta can't be a prostitute. She doesn't

like sex that much. It's impossible.

Oh, my God. I have heard that four

out of five prostitutes are lesbians.

Leslie, I think that I would

know if my wife was a lesbian.

Why?! You didn't know

she was a prostitute.

Gary, I think you have

got to accept the fact...

that there is something very unusual

going on in your relationship.

Susan.

- Susan!

- Who's Susan?

Don't get the wrong idea.

She was helping me find Roberta.

Susan!

Susan!

What are you doing here?

I got good news and bad news.

What do you want first?

- You said you were going to leave.

- OK, good news.

Your wife isn't with the greaseball.

Susan, my wife has just been

picked up on the Lower East Side,...

escaping from her gun-toting pimp!

He's not a pimp.

- He's not a pimp.

- He's not a pimp.

The bad news is he'll probably

kill her cos he thinks she's me.

- What?

- Didn't you ever read this?

She kept a diary.

It's great stuff. "Couldn't sleep."

"Went into kitchen.

Gary came in. Turned on light."

"Gary left. Finished birthday cake."

Pages of it. It's gotta be a cover.

Nobody's life could be this boring.

You shouldn't be reading that.

It's private.

Yeah, well, it's not about her.

It's about me. Listen to this.

"He's looking for Susan again.

She's late returning from Mexico."

"This is his fifth ad."

"Why does he want to see

her so badly? Who is she?"

And there's my picture.

Gary, why didn't you tell

me she read the personals?

We could've settled this yesterday.

She read them all the time.

I didn't think...

Yeah, well, fortunately for everybody,

I'm here and I'm thinking.

Give me the car keys.

I'll bring it right back.

Hiya.

Gary! She is taking the car keys!

Shut up, Leslie. OK?

Diary. That little sneak,

what did she say about me?

"Desperately seeking

stranger seeking Susan."

"Regarding key. Meet me Saturday night,

Magic Club, Broadway. 9.30pm. Be there."

- Is that it?

- She'll love it.

Pay at the cashier.

"Single white male, 40,

looking for afternoon playmates."

Is that it? Pay at the cashier.

Dez...

I'm not Susan.

I'm a housewife and I live

in Fort Lee, New Jersey.

I've been married for four years.

My husband Gary...

He sells bathroom spas and saunas.

You never stop, do you?

No, really! Really!

That's why I like you. I never know

what you'll say next. Come here.

Dez.

- What is that?

- I dunno.

Someone's trying to get in.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, it's Jim.

Oh, my God.

Jim... Jim. Jim.

Thank God. You had me worried.

How you doing, man? Huh? Huh?

Somebody jumped me. It was dark.

Yeah.

It was me.

I thought you were somebody else.

Who did you think I was?

Somebody's been following Susan.

I thought maybe you were him.

Who's following her?

I don't know.

You know Susan.

It's really tough to get a

straight answer out of her.

She needs me, Dez.

I think maybe she's

ready to settle down.

Settle down? Susan? Come on, Jim!

She'd never do that.

She's really not the type.

Since when do you know her so well?

Well, I just can't see her settling down.

I mean, she's too wild.

But that's what's so great about her.

Is that so?

I mean, you really seem

to have examined this.

Well, we've been spending

some time together.

Just... what are you

saying here, Dez?

Huh?

I'm not gonna bullshit you, Jim.

It was a shitty thing to do.

I'm not saying it wasn't.

But you yourself said

she was irresistible.

Oh, man.

W-why don't you just hit me

again and, like, finish me off?

- Look...

- Huh?!

Don't cry about it.

I'm really crazy about her...

and she's really crazy about me.

- I'm sorry.

- Listen. I know Susan.

Whatever she told

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