Desperation Page #2

Smith? Oh. Smith.

That's a likely story.

No, really, it is.

Sure.

Honest!

OK.

Who are you?

Me? Steve Ames.

A noble moniker.

So, haul your psychic

streak on up here...

Cynthia Smith...

And let's make

some miles, OK?

Yeah, I guess you'll do.

Oh. Well, thank you

very much, cookie.

Don't call me cookie,

and I won't call you cake.

Oh, my.

You gonna smoke that

or gum it to death?

Yeah, I quit.

Never hurts to keep

in practice, though.

What you lookin' at, huh?

Your T-shirt.

Yeah, right!

I'm lookin' at your t-shirt!

Come on, that's OK!

We're all animals, right?

Oh, come on, now!

Give me a break.

I worked with Dylan back in '95

when, uh, he did Unplugged.

No way!

Yeah, yeah way. Yeah.

I was doin' amps

and guitar tech...

back in those days.

Are you a roadie?

Well, this truck looks too small

to carry a band's gear.

No, I'm workin'

for this writer...

And he's, uh, he's driving

cross country...

doing little speaking things,

you know?

And he does one

every couple of days or so...

and when he gets back

to the west coast...

he's gonna write a book about it.

Is he famous?

Have you ever heard of

John Edward Marinville?

No.

Well, he's famous

amongst book people, I guess.

Yeah, I pretty much

stick with Dean Koontz.

Is he cool?

Is he cool? Yeah...

you know, once you

get past the ego...

which is like,

the size of Tibet.

Yeah, I mean, he gets cranky

every so often, but I like him...

you know.

People drive across

country everyday.

Why is he writing

a book about it?

Ah, well, it's like he's got

this midlife crisis thing...

You know, the guy's 60 years old.

He's been everywhere,

he's done everyone, you know.

The guy rides a big

Harley soft tail.

Hey, hey! Is his bike

red and cream?

Yeah, red and cream.

I think I saw him

this morning!

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

you probably did.

Lookin' all handsome

on his bike.

Handsome man, yeah!

Yeah, and he knows

it, too, believe me.

Well, he's got

to be what...

like, 50, 70 miles ahead of you.

Yeah, about that.

You know, I catch up to him

when he has a gig...

And I set up the sound systems

for him...

And I, you know...

Make sure he's got

the names straight, stuff like that.

And I'll have dinner with him

if he wants somebody to talk to.

Not with, to.

But the guy's having the time

of his life.

Yeah, he likes to play

the lone wolf, huh?

Yeah. That's...

that's the boss.

Lone Wolf McQuade.

A film before your time.

Come on, come on. Go.

Water in the desert.

Thank you, Lord.

You want to

come up here, sir?

I think we need

to have a talk.

Afternoon, officer.

A wise man once told me...

no matter how much

you squirm and dance...

last two drops end up

in your pants.

Sir. Are you aware

that parking your vehicle

on a state road

is against the law?

And that relieving

yourself in public...

is also against the law?

Well, I didn't see any crowd

gathering to watch me, so...

Sir.

Yeah. Well,

listen, you can...

write me up

if you have to...

and I will take it with a smile

and apologize...

if that will

improve your day.

I'm not gonna

write you up, sir.

Just a warning

will do this time, but...

What?

Something wrong?

Holy God.

Holy God!

You're John Edward Marinville,

aren't you?

- Oh, I...

- Damn!

I'm busted.

You got me again.

Damn!

Glad to meet you.

I am shaking hands

With the guy who wrote Delight!

Yeah.

With the guy who wrote

Song of the Hammer!

- Yeah.

- This is...

Wow!

What are you

doing out here?

And on such an unsafe

mode of transportation?

I mean, they don't

call them murder-cycles for nothin'...

and I'm a wolf.

Are you workin'

on anything new, sir?

Yeah, a book of essays.

I thought I'd cycle

across America...

and get in touch

with the common folk.

You know,

get back to my roots.

That's amazing.

Sir, can I

can I have your autograph?

I mean, that'd... that'd...

that'd make my whole day.

Hell, that'd make

my whole year.

Yeah, that'd be fine.

Right here and?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- All right.

Could you just make it out

to Collie Entragian...

your number one fan.

Thank you.

I heard you saw some

pretty hairy stuff in the 'Nam.

I was just

a correspondent, officer.

Just one more

ink-stained wretch.

But, I must say...

that the Vietnam experience

defined me.

Nobody wrote about

'Nam like you.

I heard you saved some soldiers...

when some suicide gook

blew up a restaurant.

Well, it was gut check time

for a lot of us.

We did what we could.

Yeah, well, some people

don't do anything.

Some made the bread

of forgetfulness...

and drank the wine

of cowardice. Tak.

Hey, you don't want to ride around

like that, Mr. Marinville.

That thing gets caught

up in your back wheel...

you're toast.

How'd that get like that?

It can't be.

I always check these buckles

before I get on the cycle.

It's the last thing I do.

Well, they say the memory's

the first thing to go.

What's that

supposed to mean?

What the hell is that?

That's a wolf!

Shoot it!

Ah, that's just a wild dog.

They're not dangerous.

Ordinarily.

Tak!

Tak ah lah!

Tak ah wah!

What the hell

did you say to it?

Is that some kind

of Indian dialect?

Well, it's a lot

older than that.

Now, since you can't

take care of yourself...

You big baby...

Hey.

Gosh.

Houston, we have a problem.

That's not mine.

You put that in there

when I was off doing my business.

Yeah.

Blame the cop, just like in

your lefty New York stories.

Tak.

Why do you keep

saying that?

Why do you keep

saying "tak"?

I didn't say tak.

You said tak.

You say tomato,

I say tomat-oh.

You say potato,

I say potat-ah.

What the hell's

the matter with you?

Tomato...

Tomat-oh.

Potato.

Potat-oh.

# let's call

the whole thing off #

My nose!

That's not all I'll break.

My children of the desert.

Can toi.

What music they make.

Get up!

On your feet, Lord Jim.

Upsa-daisy, you

worthless piece of crap.

You've been redefined.

Watch what you're

doing to me.

Shut up!

You're in my house now!

You're in the house

of the wolf and the scorpion...

and don't you forget it!

You really did wet

your pants this time.

You're a sorry excuse

for a writer...

and you're a sorry

excuse for a man.

Your whole life is a lie...

and I could just kill

you right here.

Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

No. No. No. No.

It's still showing.

I can still see it.

Cover it up more!

More, please.

Yes.

Thank you for using Sky.

Your call is now

being routed.

Have a great day.

Oh, damn it.

I was in a literary commune

in Chicago.

Yeah, that's

a new one on me.

Well, when you have

a bunch of people...

sitting around

in a roach motel...

smoking crystal meth,

they're addicts.

- Nice.

- But!

If they've been to college,

they're a literary commune.

For a while, though,

it wasn't bad...

But then I realized

I was getting old before my time.

So, I split.

OK, all right...

Do me a favor.

just don't say anything, OK?

He's... he'll

be cool about it.

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