Despicable Me 2

EXT:
ARCTIC CIRCLE - DAY

Snow and ice as far as the eye can see. What looks like a

windowless MILITARY BASE surrounded by barbed wire fences sits in the middle of the wasteland.

TITLE CARD:
TOP SECRET RESEARCH LABORATORY. ARCTIC CIRCLE.

At the GUARD GATE, two RUSSIAN GUARDS play poker using an overturned barrel as a table.

RUSSIAN Guard 1 shows a five of diamonds... and four Aces. The other Guard folds. RUSSIAN Guard 1 LAUGHS and drags in the pile of coins.

While he SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN and does a celebratory dance, the coins fly up into the air. RUSSIAN Guard 1 stops dancing and sees that the coins are gone. He accuses the other Guard of stealing them. RUSSIAN Guard 2 swears he didn’t take them.

RUSSIAN Guard 1 grabs a shovel and wields it menacingly, until it flies up into the air. They both look up to see where it’s gone. Then the metal barrel they were using as a table flies up, knocking them over.

RUSSIAN Guard 2 looks up to see a GIGANTIC MAGNET SHIP LOWERING DOWN FROM ABOVE AND HOVERING OVER THE LABORATORY.

A watchtower guard shouts. A door below opens as a bunch of

Guards run out and point their guns at the magnet ship.

Then...WOOSH! All of their guns are pulled up towards the

ship, including the guards themselves, who are strapped to

their guns.

A SNOWMOBILE lifts off the ground and flies up to the magnet.

Other vehicles and small buildings begin to pull away from

the ground.

Then--

THE ENTIRE LAB STARTS TO GET PULLED UP OUT OF THE GROUND.

CLANK! The lab makes contact with the ship. It flies up and

down, shaking the scientists and guards off. They fall to

the ground. The magnet ship flies away with their lab,

vehicles, and weapons.

The remaining guards and scientists are strewn across the

snow with the remnants of the damaged base. We see a portapotty

door open. A Confused Guard is sitting on the can

reading a newspaper, having missed the entire incident. He

closes the door.

MATCH CUT TO:

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 2.

INT:
AVL HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT

SECURITY FOOTAGE of the research station named PX LABS being

carried away by the magnet ship plays on the screens at AVL

Headquarters.

We see the back of several heads watching the footage.

There’s a heavy sigh.

SILAS:

Three weeks and we’re still no

closer to cracking this?

No response.

SILAS (CONT’D)

Right... bring him in.

LUCY (O.S.)

Yes, sir.

EXT:
SUBURBAN STREET - DAY

Gru steps toward camera, holding some sort of menacing gun,

which he loads and c*cks. He pulls the trigger, which shoots

out an inflatable unicorn balloon.

Smiling, he ties it to the windowsill next to some others.

EXT:
GRU’S BACKYARD - DAY

A banner reads:
"Happy Birthday Agnes!" and a massive

backyard party is in full swing. The yard is decorated with

pink balloons and streamers, and a BOUNCY HOUSE shaped like a

castle.

AGNES and several other LITTLE GIRLS slide down a slide.

They are all dressed as princesses, but Agnes is dressed as a

princess riding a unicorn.

AGNES:

This is the best party EVER!!!

Edith, dressed as a ninja, emerges from beneath a table and

climbs across the monkey bars as a series of jousts, blades,

and boxing gloves come up from the ground underneath her.

She jumps down, narrowly avoiding a bear trap.

EDITH:

Haha! Yeah!

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 3.

Two LITTLE GIRLS fish in a small kiddie pool. One of the

girls pulls up a toy duck and then razzes the other girl, but

then a LIVE PIRANHA jumps out and eats the toy duck.

A BOY and a GIRL sword fight. The Boy does a bunch of fancy

moves. The Girl waits for him to finish and then pounds him

on the head with a club.

Two kids in the background are on a see-saw made of bombs.

Agnes runs into the middle of the yard and points offscreen.

AGNES:

Oh no! A dragon is approaching!

All of the kids turn and see KYLE dressed as a dragon. He

GRUMBLES and then they SCREAM and huddle around Agnes. Then

Margo enters wearing a SUIT OF ARMOR and wielding a SWORD.

MARGO:

Fear not, for here come the gallant

knights to save us!

She gestures to a group of minions wearing tiny suits of

armor and wielding various MEDIEVAL WEAPONS. The Kids CHEER

as the minions charge toward Kyle. One accidentally hits

another with his sword. A fight ensues in which they use the

medieval weapons on each other.

One minion pounds another with a MACE. One Minion wanders off

from the fight with his helmet on backwards, wildly swinging

his mace.

Across the yard, Gru is busy grilling burgers and talking on

the phone. Not happy.

GRU:

No, no, no! What do you mean she’s

not coming?! I have a backyard

full of these little girls who are

counting on a visit from a fairy

princess!

The mace-swinging Minion walks by and accidently, repeatedly

hits Gru with the mace in the shin.

GRU (CONT’D)

Ah! Hurts! Ah! Stop it!

Gru kicks the minion’s helmet and chases him off with a

spatula, sending him towards the party swinging his mace.

Gru SIGHS and returns to the call.

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 4.

GRU (CONT’D)

Listen! I don’t want a refund! I

want a fairy princess... please!

Please, I am begging you.

(Resigned)

You know what? I hope that you can

sleep at night, you crusher of

little girls’ dreams!!!

Gru hits the phone with his spatula and hangs up. Turns and

sees Agnes standing there.

AGNES:

Ooh ooh! When’s the Fairy Princess

coming?

Gru stares down at Agnes’ big excited eyes. He opens his

mouth to tell her the truth, but can't do it.

GRU:

Any minute now!

Agnes squeals with excitement and runs off.

AGNES:

Yayyy!

Gru looks worried--what do I do now? He signals two minions.

GRU:

Stall them.

EXT:
BACKYARD - LATER

A hand-painted piece of cardboard reading “THE MAGIC SHOW” is

placed on an easel. Agnes and all of the little kids sit in

a semicircle on the grass. Two minions dressed as magicians

are doing a magic act with Edith as their assistant. One

minion blows up a balloon and puts it in Edith’s mouth. Then

the other whips out a CHAINSAW and fires it up, heading

toward her.

Margo sees this and quickly intervenes.

MARGO:

Whoa! Whoa! Okay, okay, alright.

That’s enough of the magic show!

The minions don’t hide their disappointment.

MINIONS:

Awwww .

DESPICABLE ME 2 CINCO & KEN DRAFT 5.

Margo suddenly looks around as if she just heard something.

MARGO:

Wait, did you hear that? It

sounded like the twinkling sounds

of magical fairy dust.

AGNES:

(gasps)

It’s the fairy princess! She’s

coming!

Margo gasps and points up to the sky.

MARGO:

Look!

Edith spits out her magic balloon in horror and we follow it

up to reveal--

Gru. Dressed in a PUFFY PINK DRESS, fairy wings, glittery

eyelashes and tiara and magical wand.

Up on top of Gru’s house, the minions struggle to lower him

down on a rope. Edith’s balloon floats by and distracts

them.

They let go of the rope and Gru swings wildly, smashing into

the wall of the house and crashing to the ground.

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