Destination Anywhere Page #2

No question of surviving with him.

That's what life is about. You get

knocked down, you gotta pop back up.

You just gotta flow back. Like a river,

you gotta keep going forward.

You can't back up, unless you're

a salmon, then you swim upstream, but...

l don't think it's a human thing.

You really quiet.

Are you nervous? l'm a good driver.

Move!

Sorry, l don't mean to get like that.

People just upset me out here, cos

they can't drive. They're from Jersey.

You're not from Jersey, are you?

You married?

- Yeah.

- ls she cute?

- Yeah.

- You love her?

Yeah.

- Were you out all night?

- Yeah.

You want me to stop

and get some flowers for her?

No.

You got to give her flowers.

You got to give her flowers.

You got to say, ''l'm sorry.

l made a mistake.''

Cos you know it was you,

or you'd be home.

lf it wasn't you, you wouldn't

have stayed out.

So, you've gotta be a bigger man.

You gotta keep getting up.

And even when she say's, ''Go away!''

cos white girls are dramatic,

you gotta come back

and stay with her.

- Gotta learn how to take a hit, huh?

- Gotta learn how to take a hit.

- l'll get the hang of it. lt's just up here.

- Cool.

Go see that movie with Muhammad.

lt'll teach you a lot about life.

He built a house around me.

Strong beams rooted in earth.

And smooth walls, rich with color.

And a canopy of sky.

Windows reveal a new view.

ln their reflection,

my mouth smiles back,

its curves relaxed.

And the bed, soft as a welcoming hand.

l, who all my life,

had made my home in rented rooms,

the carpets crusted with

the leavings of prior occupants,

now have an address.

This house he built.

This street paved with our love.

l'm sorry.

Me too.

What's happened to us?

l'm just feeling a little lost, these days.

l hate you sometimes.

l hate that you leave me.

l hate you when you come back.

And then sometimes...

...l don't even want you to come back.

lt's just me, babe.

You deserve better.

Yeah.

So do you.

And so do you.

Maybe l lost my touch.

What the hell happened to you?

lt's about time you got here. Get in back.

- Hey Jon, Leo came by looking for you.

- Oh, yeah?

Boy, l'd hate to see that

pretty face of yours get all messed up.

A shocking discovery

this morning in Manhattan.

A baby, barely a week old,

found in a dumpster.

Police heard the child while responding

to a call near the West Side Highway.

The baby is resting in the hospital.

Police have no idea who the mother is

or how her baby ended up

abandoned in the trash.

Change the channel, Harry.

Put on the games.

- What a weird broad she is.

- Sick son of a b*tch.

- What kind of woman would do that?

- Somebody knows.

Somebody knows something.

They're gonna pay.

They think God closed his eyes

and the world got mean.

l never imagined

she would be so perfect.

That every day,

l would glimpse another miracle.

She makes me humble. The way her

eyes gleam like the moon in negative.

The way her body reaches out

to the world, eager to touch and smell

and taste every part of it.

She trusts completely as if the whole

world were as full of love as she is.

And l want so much

to make that true for her.

Topping our newscast an update on

the abandoned baby found in the trash.

Police made the discovery this morning.

A newborn left in a dumpster

near the West Side Highway.

Doctors say the baby had slight bruises,

but is resting comfortably in the hospital.

Police don't know how long the baby

had been there,

where the mother is, or how her child

wound up in the cold, alone.

- What's happening to us?

- What the hell do you mean?

- We're lost.

- You're the one who's lost.

Come back here.

l'm not finished with you yet.

l gotta go to work.

Sit and talk to me, Janie.

Well, l gotta catch the bus. lf l don't...

- There's other buses or the train.

- No, l really can't.

Maybe later or something but

they're expecting me, so l've gotta go.

When are you gonna quit that sh*t job?

Look what it's doing to you.

l've gotta go.

Just sit and talk to me, will you, please?

l gotta go.

F***ing talk to me, will you?

Take the coat off and talk to me.

This is not going to bring her back. OK?

Whatever you're doing to me

is not going to bring her back.

You gotta talk to me.

- Come on.

- You weren't...

You weren't supposed to break the rules.

You promised me.

- You're breaking the rules. You're not...

- Stop it. Stop it.

Listen to me. Stop it.

l can't do this. l really need to go.

OK? l really need to go.

You need to let me go now.

- Listen...

- Let me go, now!

Let me go, now! Let me go!

l want my coat. l want my coat.

l want my coat. Just gimme my coat.

- Go.

- My coat on.

Put my coat on.

Put my coat on and...

l'm gonna go. That's what l'm gonna do.

l'm gonna put my coat and l'm gonna go.

Are you gonna be here

when l get back?

l gotta go. l gotta go.

That's it, l gotta go.

Winter now.

lts icy fingers reach beneath

the frame of one solid door,

beneath the blankets that shroud our

bed, into the ventricles of my heart.

All color is frozen out.

My face, grey, the streets, grey.

The voices that creep through

the phone lines are grey.

No sap runs through me.

No current of life.

Like Demeter, my daughter

has been stolen from me.

Exiled to hell and l condemn

the world to perpetual winter.

At night l hear her in my dreams.

She calls:

''Mummy''.

Her voice echoes through the dark and

l rise to go to her as l always have.

My feet grey on

the ice-slick floors of the house.

l run from room to room

but every one of them is empty.

The walls draped in frost.

l hear her calling beyond the windows

but the door is stuck.

l can't get out. l'm trapped here,

without her on the other side.

And there he is,

like a frigid god without compassion.

- Daddy, Daddy.

- Come on, Caitlin.

Come here, pumpkin.

''Let go'', he tells me.

You've got to accept.

But it's not his womb

that's turned to glacier.

She never lived inside his body

as she did in mine.

As she still does.

The heart will never beat

unless l breathe.

Baby cries until her mother holds her.

The mother holds her

until the winter thaws.

Jane.

Hey, Jane.

The dark birds in my head

flapping their wings...

...and every shadow in my brain...

...their cries raise the tiny hairs

along my spine...

...like debris shattering inside my skull

and set my teeth on edge...

...they're dive-bombing,

locked together in mortal combat...

...these are the birds that spatter

the walls of my brain with blood...

lt kills me to see the pain in your eyes.

But it wasn't our fault, Janie.

We're not to blame.

What can l do?

What can l say?

Pretty boy, you know who this is?

How come you never

came to see me with the money?

You think l'm playing games?

l know where you are and l'm gonna use

your head for a baseball.

She just...

She just needed somebody

to take care of her.

Oh, God!

She's a baby.

l love you.

lt's OK, honey. lt's OK.

Yeah. lt's all gonna be OK now.

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