Deterrence Page #10

for any country to attack Baghdad.

Damage is already done. They're just

gonna sit back and take a licking.

So once we are in Baghdad airspace,

there's nothing that can deter him

from hitting us or our allies.

Now you understand?

This is what's happening?

What are you telling me? To cave in?

Absolutely not, sir. You present

it as his capitulation.

He has come to you with the idea

of price stabilization.

- Hey, when has that ever happened?

- Never.

Walt, this is

the thing. Never.

Not in any administration. This will be a

first. On top of that, you've saved...

Three countries from chemical attack.

Sir, the level of heroism here is at

least as high as that of Kennedy in '62.

Powell in Venezuela. Stop

it right there, sir.

I appreciate you got a job to do, but

I'd like to have a word with the man.

I just wanna talk to him. Not now, okay?

I don't understand why you're

giving me this static.

You need to calm down. The man has a weapon.

I pay my taxes.

I can speak my mind.

You know how much I paid in taxes last year?

I can understand.

Three large. You know what

that's like for a guy like me?

You know what that is? All right!

- Let's hear what he has to say.

- Yes, sir.

Keep it under control. I got it. Thank you.

Thank you. I pay

my taxes, you know?

Yes, I heard that.

Okay, I just wanted to say that, speaking

for the common man, we're with you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Let's crispy-critter them

motherfuckers, you know what I mean?

Teach that little prick a lesson

he and his daddy never learned.

Keep your hands at your sides.

You drop that bomb,

you got my vote and the vote

of every real American.

My buddy Ace and I were having

this conversation the other day,

and accidentally I let slip the word "fag."

My buddy gets bent out of shape,

saying, "ralphie, be careful.

You don't know who's around."

Then he teaches me this little trick.

Every time we see one of them homosexuals,

we use the word "watermelon."

You see a fag, you say, "wouldn't

some watermelon be nice now?"

I said, "geez, Ace, that's ingenious!

What do you call blacks?"

He says, "texans."

I say, "what do you call spics?" He says...

He says,

"truckers."

Finally, I say, "what do

you call them arabs?"

He looks at me and says, "hell, Ralph,

we just call them sand n*ggers."

See what I'm sayin'? Nobody gives a

sh*t about no dirty-ass sand n*gger.

And as far as their nukes go,

they're so stone age backwards,

they probably never seen a button,

let alone know how to push one.

Ralph, is it?

Yeah.

Ralphie.

Ralph...

Is there anything else?

No, that about covers it.

Okay. How 'bout, if I promise

when all this is over...

To pass a presidential decree...

Forever relinquishing you from paying taxes?

Would you promise

to never speak to me again?

Gentlemen.

Okay. Step out, sir. Thank you.

It's fine.

Sir, general Lancaster

has Mr. rubenstein available.

Finally. Mr. president, we have Mr.

Rubenstein.

This should be interesting. Mr.

Rubenstein, this is Walt Emerson.

It's an honor, sir. All mine.

What do you got for us?

Sir, we have authenticated the nuclear

weapons the Iraqis laid out for us.

Yes, we know that. Yeah, but

what you don't know is...

I mean, the thing of it is,

these are American-made weapons.

American-made? Yes, sir. Arms dealers?

No, not arms dealers.

The markings are clear.

These weapons were French property.

The French government? That is

exactly what I mean, Mr. Thompson.

It's France for sure. Our analysts

at defense are swearing by it.

Something doesn't jive here.

You've been invaluable,

Mr. rubenstein.

Good luck, sir. I'm here if you need me.

- Thank you.

- Excuse me, sir,

but monsieur le president

gestaing is available now.

- I got him on two.

- F***ing, cocksucking, motherfucking French...

- Marsh.

- Piece of frog sh*t.

We call them milkmen.

"Milkmen"?

Shut the f*** up, Ralph.

Okay.

It's one thing for them to

have sympathy for Iraq.

In fact, I always admired

them for their... their...

Humanitarianism? Yeah,

but this is different.

I mean, this is outright treason.

How the f*** do they think they can get away

with this? Sir, gestaing is now available.

That's not a conclusion you

want to jump to, marsh. Henri.

Monsieur president.

Comment allez-vous?

Ca va bien. So the mosquito is back.

I'll say.

Inevitable.

Yes. Henri, I must ask you

about these weapons Iraq has.

Yes.

It seems they're all French.

Oui.

That they're yours.

- They come from France.

- Of course.

Of cour... how can he say that...

It's quite a situation. Oui. I understand.

Your administration... no, it was not me.

It was bouvier. Personally, I find

it to have been his most heroic act.

Well, now that everyone

knows where they're from,

I have to figure out a way to

explain it to the American people.

Tell them the truth.

The world should understand why France

has taken this position all these years.

And you've also sold them some submarines?

The submarines were improvisational...

Bouvier looking for an extra dollar.

Could have told us. It was discussed

with president Buckingham.

He was angry, but it was done,

and what was done was done.

Well, we'll discuss it at gatt next month.

For now I need to do what

I need to do, and so do you.

So, can you send over a portfolio

with all the weapons you sold Iraq?

I've just sent the list

to general Lancaster's office.

It should be there momentarily.

It is the most updated list.

Just to acknowledge, what is the

exact vintage of these weapons?

Exactly as we used the pakistanis.

They're all post-1996,

every one of them.

Okay, Henri. I'm also being told

that a missile is headed your way.

We see that. You know, the bastard

promised that they wouldn't do that.

We predict it will land in orly.

Right. Well, just don't

launch anything offensive.

No, no.

Under any circumstances.

We'll save our bombs for qaddafi.

Talk to you later.

Au revoir.

Did you hear how cavalier he was?

- I don't get it. I don't understand.

- Am I missing something?

Okay, okay.

Here's what we have to do.

- We have to get gestaing back on the phone.

- Absolutely.

The French supplied them. They

have the means to disarm them.

We have to get gestaing's

commitment on this.

Also, call a meeting

of the general assembly.

This is unacceptable behavior from a member

of NATO. They can't just supply the world...

Marsh. You're missing something.

What? I'm all ears.

General Lancaster?

Yes, sir.

Does gestaing's laundry list

correspond with our surveillance?

Perfectly. Iraq can hit, by our estimations,

over a dozen nations at once.

All right, then. Send the b-2 into Iraq.

We're gonna let her fly.

- Gonna let 'em fly?

- That's illegal.

It's absolutely illegal. They will

impeach you before you're elected.

Okay. You know what?

We need to have a chat.

- Where's my coat? Ms. redford, would you join us outside?

- Certainly.

- My coat.

- I have it, sir.

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