Dharam Sankat Mein Page #5

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- Cheers.

Here's the cap.

Amazing.

You look like a born Muslim.

Teach me the ways and customs

of a born Muslim.

Then, I'll fit the bill to a T.

Hold. Let me take a picture.

Keep the chin up. Smile now.

Yes, pleasant.

Are we done?

- Done. - Yes?

Be seated, please.

What should I do?

- That means, sit down.

I'm sitting down.

Tell me.

- Bismillah.

So, let us begin

with the greeting.

What is that?

I meant the greeting.

The greeting?

- Yes.

What is that?

- Greeting.

Greeting.

- Yes.

Oh!

Salam alaikum.

- Oh...

That's where the best people

go wrong.

It's not salam alaikum.

- Then what?

It's assalam alaikum.

Assalam alaikum.

When you say that,

you get an answer...

What?

- Walekum assalaam.

Assalam alaikum

is turned the other way around?

It's what we do.

Namaste, and namaste back.

Ram Ram, and Ram Ram back.

Why does this get turned

the other way around?

That means, peace be upon you.

Yes.

- So, you get a return greeting.

Which means, peace be upon you too.

So you have to return it.

- Yes.

Alright.

Should we get on in life, or

are greetings all there is to it?

Pronounce life, the correct way.

Why? If I don't will it shorten

my life?

Say it right!

Where were you since so long?

I was walking.

Walking?

- Yes.

At one in the morning?

Well, I have acidity.

The doctor told me

after eating...

Tell me the truth.

Where did you go

and who were you with?

I was with Mehmood.

What? Mehmood?

Mehmood? I was with the ghost!

I was with the ghost.

- Stop joking, please.

What about your clothes?

Yes, I slipped a bit

while walking.

You're not hiding something

from me, right?

What can I hide from you, darling?

- Then, swear to me.

I swear to you.

Darling, men change

as they age.

I went to get a surprise for you.

I climbed the tree

and I slipped.

You always convince me

with a surprise. - See?

Now, go on.

- Yes.

And, listen.

- Yes?

I will also give you a

surprise, tomorrow morning.

Really?

O kaY-

O kaY-

Drink up the juice.

- Where is the surprise?

This isn't a surprise.

This is Neelanand's cap.

Dad, the surprise is a bit late.

This is not a cap, this is the

Neel headgear.

It's worn

so you can look religious.

It's an easy way to look religious.

No prayers, or reading the texts.

No sacred duty or meditation.

Wear the cap and become religious

in an instant.

How do I look?

Do I look religious?

Do I look like a Pundit (priest)?

How can I look like one?

My face is non religious!

This is amazing.

No matter what the religion

they make you wear the cap.

Who is it?

- I think, the priest is here.

The priest?

That's the surprise.

- What?

Amit would like you to learn

about religion from the priest.

It will be useful, when you have

to meet Swamiji.

Listen to me...

- It's okay.

Oh, God! This is a terrible

surprise.

Aren't you the same man?

I am true, but not right.

No! Don't misunderstand.

I am true and I am right!

I am fine, all over. Everywhere.

- Yes.

Om.

-Om.

So, let's start with the first lesson.

Say, Shree Ganeshay Namah.

Shree Ganeshay Namah.

First, we must

perform the cleansing.

So, you need to close your eyes

and nose and drink this. Go on.

What is this?

- Drink it up.

What is that?

- It's cow urine.

Cow urine?

- Yes.

It's essential to cleanse

your inner soul.

If you go out and eat anything else,

you must cleanse yourself, again.

Come on, focus.

Say after me.

Om.

-Om...

Now, we will perform Wazu.

- Wazu.

Cleaning, as in ablutions.

- I saw it on the CD.

Yes! How is it to be done?

Rinse the mouth, cleaning of

mouth and face.

And then, the arms.

- Like that.

The prayer mat has been set out.

Place both hands behind

your ears, like this.

Alright?

Then...

...do this.

This is called the intention

to pray.

The intention to pray.

- Yes.

(Arabic prayers)

(Arabic prayers)

(Arabic prayers)

Dad, why are you looking

at them so intently?

I am just looking at how

he does that.

The prayers?

Yes, that's right. The prayers,

the veneration. The ritual.

I wanted to see how they

perform it.

Come on, sit.

Let me drop you to college.

Dad, it is 6 in the evening...

College is out.

I am going to go home.

- That's what I said. Sit.

Come on.

(Arabic prayers)

I can't do this.

I can't do this. It's fine right up

to the intention to pray.

But, saying the words is hard.

No, you can do it!

You can do it.

What you have to do is...

...when you are standing

in the mosque...

...then, you follow

what the man before you does.

Follow the leader.

Follow.

- Follow.

Now go down like this.

Don't stop.

Nothing to be said, right?

- No, nothing!

Hey! What are you doing?

- What?

It's really dusty, I'm

getting rid of it.

It's all so dusty!

I just don't understand him, now.

You know those fakirs

who carry peacock feathers?

They throw up the clouds of

loban (frankincense) smoke.

What should I do about them?

Touch their feet?

No!

Islam forbids it.

You can't touch someone's feet.

You don't bow down to anyone.

But, if you feel an intense

desire...

...then, you must greet

the person first.

And then...

...you may kiss the person's hand.

What do you mean?

I mean, you kiss.

Kiss! Then why don't you

say that?

Why are you making it

sound so heavy?

That's how it is said.

Here, you hold the hand like this.

Yes, right!

- Kissing. - Kiss it.

Hello.

- Salamalaikum.

Salam.

Greetings.

- Greetings.

Greetings.

- Yes.

Do come in.

- Come in.

Repeat after me.

As you stride along..

You walk the world...

Listen carefully.

As you stride along...

As you walk...

As you stride along,

lighting up the path...

Lighting up the...

Lighting...

Joseph and...

What is this tongue twister?

Say it right!

Tongue twister.

- Tongue twister.

This is just a waste of time.

No! You did it again!

You have to enunciate right.

Alright.

- Like that.

That's it.

- Okay.

Repeat after me. Resident

of Kailash and Kashi...

Resident of Khailash

and Khashi...

What's wrong with your throat?

Say it clearly,

enunciate properly.

Don't pronounce it with Kh.

- Kh...

K...the residents of Kailash

and Kashi. - Kailash..

And go down on the knees.

- No speaking, right?

No! On your knees.

Bend, bow.

Look, this is the complete

bow. Do this.

What are you doing?

This is the standing bow.

Bow as you stand.

I am standing on my legs

and I'm bowing.

A standing bow.

Why don't you read it?

When Joseph and his comrades...

When Joseph and his comrades...

...left the ship to

embark on the island...

...the cruel Jalaal stood there

leering...

...while standing

tied up in chains.

That's a lot of emphasis.

Doesn't it hurt your throat?

A drink!

Striding along,

lighting up the path...

Lighting...

Sir, please pay attention first.

- Yes.

Striding along, lighting up

the path.

Striding along...

Striding along,

lighting up the path.

Brandishing the trident

and the crescent moon...

Don't chatter.

Don't talk nonsense.

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