Diary of a Mad Black Woman Page #6

to say this to you.

I'm in love with you.

How do you know that?

I don't know

how to explain it to you.

Try.

Helen, if I'm away from you

for more than an hour...

I can't stop thinking about you.

I carry you in my spirit.

I pray for you more

than I pray for myself.

I got it so bad for you,

I'd go to the grocery store...

and I'd buy your feminine

products. I swear I would.

See? And that. That.

That smile.

Helen, when you smile

like that...

my world...

it's all right.

I am in love with you.

Dear diary,

when did I get here?

Somewhere,

out of all the pain...

came a man who is strong...

beautiful, sensitive...

and Christian.

Last night was so amazing.

Even though we both wanted

to make love...

he chose to give me

something better.

He gave me intimacy.

I haven't felt this way in...

well...never.

You know, what's strange

is that I thank Charles...

because if he hadn't been

such a terrible man to me...

I wouldn't know

what a good one feels like.

He can have it all.

Your Honor, may I have a moment

to confer with my client?

It's fine.

It's fine.

Your Honor, let him

have it all...everything.

Are you sure?

Yes...

as long as he agrees

to pay my attorney's fees...

and my mother's stay

in a nursing home...

he can have it.

So ordered. Mr. McCarter

will retain ownership...

of all said properties solely,

and no alimony is ordered.

Mr. McCarter will pay all

Mrs. McCarter's attorney fees.

Divorce will be granted...

upon the signature of

both parties after thirty days.

Adjourned.

Do you have any idea

what you just did?

Yes.

Smart choice.

Later, Charles.

Smart choice.

Will the defendant please rise?

Mr. Foreman, has the jury

reached a unanimous verdict?

We have, your Honor.

What say you?

We, the jury,

find the defendant...

Jamison Milton Jackson,

guilty.

Quiet. Quiet.

Quiet.

I'd like to thank the members

of the jury for their duties.

Take him away.

Sentencing will be

in three weeks.

This court is adjourned.

Good looking out.

Somebody get an ambulance!

Hurry! We need

an ambulance, please!

Will someone get some help?

Do you love me?

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Helen, my heart says

that you do.

Your actions say that you do.

But you've never said it.

The last man that I said--

No, no, no, no.

Please...

don't make me pay

for his mistakes.

If you love me, just say it...

and you trust me

with that information...

because I promise you

I won't abuse it.

But I need to hear it.

Yes...

I love you.

Now what?

That's it. That's it.

You just trust it.

OK?

Any time you want

to give in to that fear...

you let our love outweigh it.

Right?

-Yeah?

-OK.

Good morning.

Orlando, what's going--

I know you don't believe

in fairy tales.

But if you did...

I'd want to be your knight

in shining armor.

You've been through so much.

I don't want

to see you hurt anymore.

Now, I may not be able to give

you all that you're used to.

But I do know I can love you

past your pain.

I don't want you

to worry about anything.

You just wake up

in the morning.

That's all you have to do,

and I'll take it from there.

There's one condition.

You have to be my wife.

Say something.

What? What's wrong?

-Oh, my God.

-What?

What's wrong?

-What?

-I have to go.

Go? Go where?

I'm sorry.

-Where are you going?

-I have to go.

We removed two

of the four bullets...

but there's one that's

very close to the spine.

There's a great possibility...

he could be

permanently paralyzed.

Are you his wife?

I am soon to be.

He won't be able to walk?

It's touch-and-go

at this point.

We're trying

to stabilize him...

so we can perform

this last surgery...

but this bullet

is in a very difficult place.

I need to know,

if things go badly...

should we resuscitate?

What do you mean,

"If things go bad"?

I have to be honest with you.

It doesn't look good in there.

Should we resuscitate?

No.

-Wait a minute.

-Excuse me?

I'm sorry. These decisions

are usually left to the spouse.

No, no, no.

Legally, she is still his wife.

Then you have to make the call.

You do everything

you can for him.

You are so vindictive!

What quality of life is that man

gonna have if he can't walk?

Did you not hear her

say "possibility"?

Why are you here?

Helen, calm down.

Why are you here?!

Let me go.

OK.

I'm fine.

September 1.

Dear diary, tell me,

why am I here?

I know it's the Christian

thing to do...

but my flesh wants to beat

the hell out of him.

I want to hate him...

but as I look at him...

all I feel is sympathy.

Charles?

Hi.

Hi.

He came through pretty well.

He can't speak,

but he can hear you.

What about the paralysis?

Mr. McCarter,

it's Dr. Shiloh.

If you can feel this,

I want you to blink your eyes.

Don't get discouraged.

It's not as bad as we thought.

He is breathing on his own.

He's suffered a lot of scarring

and swelling...

around the nerves

of the spine...

but as the swelling goes down...

it's possible that he will

be able to regain some feeling.

Don't give up.

September 19.

Dear diary...

as I sit here thinking about...

picking up the pieces

of what used to be my life...

I realized something.

Every room in this house

holds a painful memory for me.

Even though he's suffering...

something somewhere in me

wants him to suffer more.

A few months and a divorce...

can take you through

just as many emotions...

as 18 years in a marriage.

And I'm starting to feel

all of them at once.

But the one that is clear

is rage.

Signed, a mad black woman.

I don't see it.

-You don't see it?

-No.

You ain't good for nothing.

Find my bank statement and get

the accountant on the phone.

Then call Kalvin

and tell him...

to get over here,

and you could leave.

This is not gonna beat me.

What you starin' at?

All of this,

and you're still the same.

I'm Charles McCarter.

I'm gonna die Charles McCarter.

Look, I don't even know

why you're here.

I ain't giving you a dime.

Call Brenda and get my kids.

Where are my kids?

Look, just get the hell out.

I ask you to do

one little thing...

and you can't even do that

after 18 years?

Get out!

Let me explain something to you.

Old Helen is gone...

and you will not

talk to me like that.

Now, I came here

to help you...

but now...

I'm gonna get even.

-Helen, you--

-Shut up!

You want Brenda and your kids?

Do you see what you left me for?

This is what you left me for!

She didn't give a damn

about you, Charles.

She told them to let you die.

I was your wife. I loved you.

I never would have hurt you!

Why did you do this to me?

To us?

Answer me!

And you know what's funny?

I gave you life...

even though

you took it from me.

Your kids...

your boys...

I wanted children, Charles!

And had you not been

with those whores...

we would have them.

Got me all stressed out--

my hair falling out,

my weight up and down...

can't keep anything down,

two miscarriages!

You took life from me...

and you never even said,

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