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eat dinner on this table like this one more time.

You got it. Hey, Jude, can I ask

you a question about the taxes?

Uh, did you take

a poopie today?

I didn't.

What?

- Tim, I'm not joking.

- Okay, yeah.

We love you so much.

You're such a good boy.

- Aw.

- All right.

- See? You make me the bad guy.

- How do I...

Because you have to do this.

And them I'm getting...

I'm turning into this.

Okay, how about this?

You can go play. You can do whatever

you want, buddy boy. Is that okay?

- I'll do the taxes. I'm sorry.

- No, but see?

You see what happens?

And then I'm...

And then I'm the bad guy.

Come here. Come here.

- Just do it. This weekend.

I know. -Okay.

I don't wanna take

your mom and your step-dad's

money in this moment.

And I don't think there's anything wrong with that

'cause we're talking about a three-year-old boy.

Mm-hmm.

If this conversation was

about college and it was...

- college or no college, then...

- They say, they say...

They say, they say that preschool now is

more important in getting into college

- than, like, high school.

- Stop it. I don't...

- It is! They say development

is... -Who the f*** is "they"?

The experts, whatever.

All the stuff that I read.

Yeah, and then we read another thing about

preschools where, uh, the one that was all dirt

and they play in the dirt

all the time

- and they raise those turtles.

- Yeah, I read that article.

And you spend $12,000 for three months and

you need to pay for every extra activity.

And there's...

Yeah, but, here's the thing,

you wouldn't be paying for it.

That's the thing. That's the

thing that I'm talking about.

How about our son goes to school

in the neighborhood he lives in?

Yeah, how about

that school is a six?

How about he's in preschool?

It's not a good preschool.

Let them run around and figure

out problems on their own.

And so if one kid

bites another kid,

- well then, the biter hangs out

with the bitee... -Oh, stop. Stop.

And they have to figure out what they did wrong, and

they talk it out for $10,000 over three months.

You're making me mad. I'm reading this.

You're making me mad.

- Do you want some of this?

- No.

- "Love and Foreplay Aren't

Blind." -Yeah, right.

My favorite chapter.

What does that even mean?

Hi, Mom, it's me. Can you give

me a call when you get this?

I, uh, was thinking about coming

down for the weekend with Jude.

And maybe asking if you'd babysit for

me so I can have a night out to myself.

I just... Tim's got a lot to

of stuff to do this weekend

and I just need a break

to be honest with you.

I love you. Call me back. Bye.

You're on the hook

for next time.

Okay. Have fun.

- Don't have too much fun.

- I won't.

Okay, say hi to everybody.

Yes, I will.

- Love you guys.

- We love you, Daddy.

- Bye.

- -Bye.

Okay, bud, you're ready to

go see Grandma and Pop-pop?

Yeah.

Don't forget the taxes.

Don't forget the taxes.

I won't.

Why don't I come to you? Because I

haven't seen the kids in so long.

That would be so nice, and then

we'll just do it from there.

Cool?

All right, get ready, baby. We are

gonna have a fun Saturday night.

- Mama?

- -Yeah?

Why isn't Daddy here?

Because Daddy had to stay home and do

some things that Mommy wanted him to do.

Because Daddy

has some responsibilities.

Oh, what is a responsibility?

- What's a responsibility?

- Yeah.

Sometimes mommies want daddies to

pitch in and help out and do things,

and those are called

responsibilities.

And if you don't do them,

then Mommy comes after you

and goes, "Rawr! Why didn't you do

everything I wanted you to do?"

- You don't like when Mommy

gets like that. -No.

No. I don't like it

either, actually.

So Daddy is at home

doing his homework.

- Right?

- Yeah.

Yeah!

- Hey, man.

- -Hey, man.

- How are you?

- -Good.

Can you believe it?

This is very strange.

Very unusual for people like me

to be at a place like this.

- It's the best, right?

- Yeah. Thanks for having me.

Yeah, you got it.

I'm just griling out, man.

Check it out.

Explore the place.

This is all ours tonight.

There's a pool, there's a hill.

Yeah?

I think I am gonna walk around.

This whole place is hers?

Everything.

Hey, would you grab some buns?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna pee in each of the

bathrooms, is that okay?

So then the lesson is, "Hopefully

you get a really lucky,"

and your grandmother marries a

man who's got a lot of money,

and then therefore you get

to go to private school,

"but your parents couldn't

have sent you there."

Yeah.

And so then you're essentially

alienated from your own surroundings.

Right.

Yeah, I mean, there's

pros and cons to both.

I think the optimistic choice is

sending them to public school

because we teach

at public school.

That's right. That's right.

If we don't believe that you can

send your kids to public school.

- Then what am I doing?

- That's right. What are we...

Yeah, what are we doing?

Yeah, what is that lesson then?

I teach there,

but my kid doesn't go.

- Very cynical.

- Yes.

I'm very cynical.

Mind you, I teach gym.

We would start constructing the

fire when there was still light.

- That's right.

- So we, you know,

we could do it right,

the tepee.

No, I'm good, thanks.

Here you go, Paul.

When we told her, you know...

So we were with the cat and it's

like, "We don't believe in anything."

We don't believe

you're going to cat heaven."

So it's like we're just telling her, like,

"We appreciate that you were alive."

- Oh, jeez. -Like it's just so...

It's devastating.

You know what, though, having someone come

over and put the cat out of its misery,

way better

than taking an animal in.

'Cause the last thing they'll remember

is all this panic and fear in the car.

- You shouldn't take them in.

- No.

I think you have to put

them down at the house.

I think it's funny

'cause it's just like...

Cremation versus burial is such a

no-brainer when I think about it.

It's like crem...

Everyone should be cremated.

Why is it a no-brainer?

Because there's too many people

on the earth, there's no space.

- Oh, you mean practically?

- Yeah.

So no one got it. All right.

150!

That was a nice toss, though.

Oh, yeah, thanks.

- Okay.

- -Perfect.

350 to 280 to 120. One hundred!

420 to 180 to 130.

Hey, uh...

Sorry, um...

Did I get the wrong house?

I'm looking for a Tim guy.

Oh, yeah, Tim's in the kitchen.

Hey, man!

Whoa!

Look at this guy!

- What's up, homie?

- Yes, man!

- You made it.

- Look at this guy.

Look at this beautiful face.

And the f***ing bod!

- Hey, man.

- -I'm so glad you came, man.

- Good, I'm so glad to be here,

- I miss you.

What are you guys doing,

dick-sucking-cock fest over here?

- What's happening?

- No. Hey, let's get a beer.

- What's going on?

- -You f***ing made it, man!

The Weight Watchers points just on the

hamburger bun is like 12-13 points.

No hamburger.

Ray, you want one of these?

So they were literally I'd say about

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