Dinner at Eight Page #3

Who's that on the telephone?

A Mrs. Oliver Jordan

wants to speak to you on the phone.

- Who?

- Mrs. Jordan.

- Mrs. Oliver Jordan?

- Yes.

Holy cat!

Hand me that telephone, you nitwit.

Hello, Mrs. Jordan.

Of course I remember you.

I've seen you at the races.

Mr. Jordan and I are giving a small dinner

for Lord and Lady Ferncliffe...

two very dear friends

of mine from England.

Gee, that sounds swell to me.

It's awful nice of you to ask us,

Mrs. Jordan. We'll be glad to accept.

Goodbye.

Don't you want to know the date?

Sure, honey.

Friday, a week from tonight.

Dinner at 8:
00. Thanks.

Goodbye for real this time, Mrs. Jordan.

Tina, get my engagement book.

It's around here somewhere.

Take this down.

Next Friday evening...

at the Oliver Jordans', dinner at 8:00.

Me eating with Lord and Lady Ferncliffe.

You don't have to write that down, stupid.

Listen, Tina.

Don't crack about this to Mr. Packard.

I want to spring it on him

at the right time.

That slug never wants to meet

any refined people.

Clear that away, Tina.

Wait a minute!

What did Dr. Talbot say?

What time's he coming?

He didn't say exactly.

He asked, "Was there any symptoms?"

And I said, "No, I didn't think so. "

He said, all right then,

he'd be over sometime today.

I got a cold, and my legs ache all over.

- You didn't tell me to say that.

- You should have known it.

- Here's your new hat.

- Goody.

Higher, you fool.

- Don't it look cute?

- Swell.

Tell Oscar to pack.

Just overnight stuff, that's all.

You in bed again? What's the matter?

I don't feel good.

What's the idea of the hat? Going out?

What do you eat all that sweet stuff for?

Why don't you get up and do something?

You don't care what I do or how I feel.

Look at me.

I was never sick a day in my life, and why?

It's because I do things

and get out and get to moving.

Oscar, I don't want any dinner clothes.

That's the reason.

Dr. Talbot says that you're an extrovert

and I'm an introvert.

A what?

An introvert, you dummy!

That's why I've got to be quiet a good deal

and have time to reflect in.

Reflect in?

What have you got to reflect about?

I have to think and act at the same time.

You know why

I'm going to Washington tonight?

Because the President wants to

consult me about the affairs of the nation.

- That's why.

- What's the matter with them?

Everything's the matter with them.

That's why he's sending for me.

You know, I wouldn't be a bit surprised

but what he offered me a Cabinet job.

What do you know about that?

Where'd that buffer get to?

You ought to be married

to some of the guys I see.

They'd give you

something to reflect about.

I called on a fellow this morning

who can't handle one little business...

and I juggle 50 things at once,

and he doesn't handle one.

Here's the blowoff.

He's got the layout I've been looking for,

for two years...

and the sap lays it right in my lap.

Dan Packard owns the best shipping line

between here and the tropics...

and Mr. Oliver Jordan is out on his ear.

We're invited there for dinner

next Friday night...

and I'm going to wear my new silver

with the white fox.

- We're not going. That's out.

- How do you get that way?

- Why not?

- I can't go and eat his dinner.

If he's a sucker, that's his funeral.

No. Presidents in Washington

and all those rummies...

but you can't go anywheres with me.

Once in our life,

we get asked to a classy house.

I got a new dress to knock their eye out

and we're going!

- We're not going!

- We are so, you big crook!

You pull a dirty deal

and it ruins my social chances!

- You can't get away with it!

- Go lay an egg.

Danny...

Kitty wants to go see

all the great big lords and ladies...

in their big, beautiful house.

It's for Lord and Lady Ferncliffe.

- Who said so?

- She did.

Why didn't you say so in the first place?

Because you were mean

to poor little Kitty.

Ferncliffe, you know who he is?

He's the richest man in England.

- Goody, you'll go?

- Certainly I'll go.

I've been trying to meet him for two years.

That ties up with the Jordan stuff.

- See, and I did it for you.

- You know what I'll do?

I'll buy up that Jordan stock

through dummies.

I'll use Baldridge and Whitestone,

fellows like that.

- Keep my name out of it.

- Out of what?

Dr. Talbot's come.

Good. He'll take care of you all right.

Ferncliffe. What a break.

- Goodbye, kitten. See you tomorrow.

- That's fine, goodbye.

Come on, Oscar, let's go.

Tina, quick, get me that other jacket,

the one with the fur.

Hurry up, you nitwit!

Clear the things off the bed

and fix it up a bit.

Tina, leave me my book.

You know, the fat one

that Dr. Talbot gave me.

It says Aspects of the Adult Mind.

- Here it is.

- Leave it here.

Now, show the doctor in.

Well, what's this?

Hello, Doctor.

I just ran into your husband downstairs.

He tells me

he's going to see the President.

Yes, he's going to help him fix things.

What's wrong with the little lady?

Doctor, I don't know.

I kind of ached all over

and felt funny and...

You got to be careful of the flu,

and I thought maybe if I stayed in bed...

You never come and see me anymore

unless I send for you.

Now listen, Kitty, I've been very busy.

But I'm so lonely for you, Wayne.

You know how I need you.

I don't do anything all day

except just long for you.

Why don't you try and read?

I know. You're tired of me.

- No, I'm not, honey, but you know...

- Wayne, darling!

Look at you, quivering with pride.

Just 'cause you're going to be ate tonight

by Lord and Lady what's his name.

The aspic.

- It's too divine, Mrs. Wendel.

- Thank you, ma'am.

It was the only thing I was worried about.

No, I think that's better, Mrs. Wendel.

What is it, The Wreck of the Hesperus?

It's the British lion

in honor of Lord Ferncliffe.

It will just make the dinner.

Isn't that Aunt Emma's vegetable dish?

Yes, isn't it lovely?

- This just came, Mrs. Jordan.

- Thank you, Dora.

I can still remember

when a telegram always meant bad news.

- Good heavens!

- You see?

Freddy Hope, my extra man,

he's got pneumonia.

Of all the thoughtless, selfish...

On the day of my dinner, too.

What am I going to do?

Why do anything?

I never could understand why

it has to be just even, male and female.

They're invited for dinner, not for mating.

I don't know where to find someone

who'll fit in with the Ferncliffes.

Nothing but a rubber plant would fit in

with the Ferncliffes.

Why don't you get an actor for Carlotta?

- An actor?

- A movie star.

Aren't there any movie stars around?

I've got it. Larry Renault.

He'd be too marvelous.

- I wonder if he's still in town.

- He was in town yesterday.

Ed, the movie hound, read me an interview

with him in last night's Telegram.

He's leaving pictures and going into a play.

And he knows Carlotta.

We met him at her place in Antibes

three years ago. He was a sensation.

The girls fighting to get into his car.

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