Dinner at Eight Page #7

I guess I'll be trotting along.

I'll see you at dinner.

Say goodbye to Millicent for me,

won't you?

No. I'll see you to the door, Carlotta.

Hello. Yes. This is Mrs. Jordan.

Lord Ferncliffe's secretary.

Yes?

What's that? But you must be mistaken.

But they can't. They can't go to Florida.

They are coming here to dinner.

I'm giving the dinner for them.

They've gone. When?

But people don't do such things.

I don't care how sudden it was.

You should have let me...

All I can say is, I never heard

of such a thing in all my life before.

- Mother, I want to talk to you.

- What?

It's about Ernest and me.

I want to talk to you...

Paula, don't bother me now,

for pity's sake.

- I can't listen to your...

- But, Mother, you don't understand.

- This is terribly important.

- Paula, shut up, I tell you.

Let me think.

Millicent, would you mind awfully

if I didn't go to the theater tonight?

I'm feeling pretty rotten.

- Lf I could just go to bed...

- What's that you're saying?

I'm feeling pretty rotten.

I'm up against a business thing.

A business thing. At a time like this,

you talk to me about a business thing...

and feeling rotten.

This is a nice time to say

you're feeling rotten.

You come to me with your...

And you whimpering about Ernest.

Some little lovers' quarrel.

I'm expected to listen to Ernest, business,

and headaches...

when I'm half out of my mind.

Do you know what's happened to me?

I've had the most ghastly day

anybody ever had.

No aspic for dinner...

and Ricky in jail

and Gustave dying, for all I know...

and a new butler tonight,

and that Vance woman coming in.

And having to send for crabmeat.

Crabmeat!

And now, on top of everything else...

the Ferncliffes aren't coming to dinner.

They call up at this hour,

the miserable cockneys.

They call up to say they've gone to Florida.

Who can I get at this hour? Nobody.

I've got eight people for dinner.

Eight people isn't a dinner. Who can I get?

You come to me with your idiotic little...

I am the one who ought to be in bed.

I'm the one who's in trouble.

You don't know what trouble is,

either of you!

How you coming, kitten?

How you coming, kitten?

I've told you a million times...

not to talk to me

when I'm doing my lashes.

And don't you talk to me

when I'm shaving.

I think these are the handsomest ones

you ever bought.

Will you take those back?

I'll tell you when I want them.

Put them in the icebox, nitwit.

Tomorrow, Oliver Jordan can go

and buy himself a little rowboat...

and start all over again.

He'll never know who done it.

You're so smart,

you're going to land in jail some day.

Tina, where are my slippers?

I'm just beginning, tootsie.

Whose wife's got any bigger bracelets

than you've got?

Remember what I told you last week?

I don't remember

what you told me a minute ago.

About Washington.

Don't you remember that?

How'd you like to be

a cabinet member's wife?

Mingle with all the other Cabinet

members' wives and ambassadors'?

Nerts.

You're not going to drag me down

to that graveyard.

I've seen their pictures in the papers,

those girlies.

A lot of sour-faced frumps

with last year's clothes on.

Pinning medals on Girl Scouts

and pouring tea for the DARs...

and rolling Easter eggs

on the White House lawn.

A swell lot of fun I'd have.

You go live in Washington.

I can have a good time right here.

Listen, stupid.

If I get that appointment to Washington,

I'm going. And if I go, you go. That's that.

- You mean you're really going to get it?

- Certainly I am.

- I won't go.

- You will go!

No, I won't! You can't boss me.

I can yell just as loud as you can.

You've been acting very strangely lately,

my fine lady...

and I'm not going to stand for it.

Yeah. And so what?

So what? I'm the works around here

and I'll give you orders what to do.

Who do you think you're talking to,

your first wife out in Montana?

Now, you leave her out of this.

That poor thing with a flat chest

that didn't have nerve enough...

to talk up to you,

washing your greasy overalls, cooking...

and slaving in some lousy mining shack?

No wonder she died.

- I'll sock you in a minute.

- You can't get me that way.

You're not going to step on my face to get

where you want to go, you big windbag!

Listen, you little piece of scum, you...

I've got a good notion to drop you

right back where I picked you up:

In the checkroom of the Hottentot Club...

- or whatever the dirty joint was.

- No, you won't!

And then you can go back

to that sweet-smelling family of yours...

back of the railroad tracks in Passaic.

And get this.

If that sniveling, money-grubbing,

whining old mother of yours...

comes fooling around my offices anymore,

I'm going to give orders...

to have her thrown down

those 60 flights of stairs, so help me!

Give me that!

- You pick that up.

- Pick it up yourself.

You pick that up!

Bracelets, eh?

After I pick you out of the gutter,

this is the thanks that I get.

Thank you.

Thanks for what?

Listening to you about what a big guy

you just been or you gonna be?

Listen. You never sent me a flower

in your life.

When I want flowers, I gotta go buy them.

What woman wants to

buy theirselves flowers?

You never talk to me, or ask me what

I've been doing, or how I am, or anything.

Why don't you get something to do?

I ain't stopping you.

You bet you ain't.

You think I sit home all day,

looking at bracelets.

Of all the dumb bunnies.

What do you think I'm doing

while you're out pulling your dirty deals?

Waiting for Daddy to come home?

What are you driving at...

You think you're the only man I know,

you great, big noise?

You aren't, see?

There's somebody that just knowing him...

has made me realize

what a stuffed shirt you are.

You don't like that, do you,

Mr. Cabinet Member?

Somebody else put over a deal.

You've been putting it over on me

with some other man?

Yes, and what are you going

to do about it, you big gasbag?

You tell me who it is,

or I'll break every bone in your body.

You can kill me, and I won't.

I'll find out who it is.

- Tini!

- She don't know.

Who's been coming to this house?

- You don't know, do you?

- You shut your trap!

- Who's been coming to this house?

- I ain't seen nobody.

Yes, you have!

You tell me, who came here

while I was in Washington?

Nobody. Only the doctor.

No, I don't mean him.

Who's been coming here behind my back?

I ain't seen a soul.

Get out, you dummy.

What did I tell you?

I'll divorce you. That's what I'll do.

You won't get one cent.

- There's a law for what you've done.

- Yeah, you got to prove it first.

Yeah? I'll track him down.

I'll find him, and I'll kill him.

That's what I'll do.

Then I'll throw you out

just like you were an alley cat.

Yeah? So you want to go to Washington.

You want to tell the President

where to get off.

You want to go into politics.

I know about politics, and I know all about

the crooked deals you bragged about.

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