Dirt Page #7

Don stands there with his prescriptions. Different SHAPES

move at the periphery of the scene, ducking into the aisles.

Don is getting pretty twitchy, mumbling responses to the

voices.

WHISPERING VOICE THREE

I love you, Donny.

DON:

Please...just...go back.

Don looks up to see the back of the head of the guy in front

of him. The back of the guy’s head is morphing into the face

of a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

WHISPERING VOICE THREE/BACK-OF-HEAD

WOMAN:

Kiss me, Donny. I love you so

much, just kiss me.

DON:

No...not here.

WHISPERING VOICE THREE/BACK-OF-HEADWOMAN

I’ll scream.

DON:

No!

WHISPERING VOICE THREE/BACK-OF-HEADWOMAN

I’ll scream, Don. Kiss me.

40.

Don closes his eyes and leans forward to kiss the face in the

back of the guy’s head...

Don stumbles. The guy has moved forward in line, the face is

gone.

Don breathes in sharply. A SLITHERING, DEMONIC SHAPE slimes

by and into one of the aisles. Don is wigging out.

PHARMACIST’S HELPER

Can I help you?

Don thrusts the scrips into her hands.

DON:

I need the Zeldox, the Risperdol,

the Zyprexa and the Ariprozole.

PHARMACIST’S HELPER

No problem. It’ll be about forty-

five minutes.

DON:

‘Kay.

WHISPERING VOICE TWO

She’s been hired to poison you.

DON:

No!

PHARMACIST’S HELPER

I’m sorry?

Don turns and runs out of the store.

EXT. RITE AID PARKING LOT -- DAY

Don is pressed up against the side of the building, breathing

deeply, sweating.

INT. TRANSCOMMUNICATION MEDIA CONSOLIDATED, BARROW’S OFFICE --

DAY:

Lucy enters on her cell.

LUCY:

I’ll call you back. Yeah.

BARROW:

You have something working with

Holt McLaren?

LUCY:

I have more things working than you

could possibly imagine.

41.

BARROW:

Whatever you’re working, I want a

piece of it.

LUCY:

You’re the boss. You have a piece

of it, regardless. Just don’t get

confused and think that means you

could wipe your ass without me.

I’m placing this piece in The Bomb,

it’s too dirty for NOW magazine.

BARROW:

I want credit if it goes somewhere

and Corporate wants to know whose

piece it is.

LUCY:

Tell you what:
Why don’t you stop

behaving as if I’m gonna lop off

your manhood and let me do my job.

I develop sources, find stories,

get the biggest scoops in the

world...and you take the

advertisers to Benihana and grab

credit for it all while going home

with five times my salary. Sound

good?

Barrow just looks at her.

LUCY (CONT’D)

Because if it doesn’t, my sources

could dry up or go to the Star.

BARROW:

You want my job.

LUCY:

I’d kill myself if I had your job.

I like to get dirty.

BARROW:

So I hear.

She goes to the door.

LUCY:

I don’t want your job, Alex. I

want your salary.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS -- DAY

Don climbs out of his rig; today it’s a black Mercedes SUV

with dealer plates.

42.

He appears to be somewhat back on his game, handling his

equipment deftly. He shoulders his Canon and carries a

Starbucks cup. He walks toward an estate wall.

Don leans against the estate wall and sips his coffee. A

look of consternation crosses his face.

IN THE SHRUBS:

Don pulls down his trousers and squats.

DON’S FACE

As he squeezes one out.

OFFSCREEN:

The sound of an IDLING VEHICLE. Don holds his breath.

DON’S POV

Through the shrubs, a beat-up ‘58 Chevy pickup.

The driver is not visible. Just a hand on the steering

wheel...well, a large paw.

The Sad Cat Man GUNS the old pickup and it drives off with

its signature throaty purr.

DON:

Pulls up his pants and walks over to the estate wall. Climbs

it.

He hops down and begins scaling a eucalyptus tree with a view

of the house below.

IN THE TREE:

Don, perched like a schizophrenic Koala bear, struggles to

get a shot lined up.

IN THE HOUSE:

We’ve been here before. It’s Kira Klay’s house. She paces

in and out of frame, back and forth, eyes puffy, in her

sweats.

Suddenly, into frame walks JEFF STAGLIANO, an indie film

actor/director a la Vince Gallo. Grungy.

JEFF STAGLIANO:

I think babies are beautiful.

KIRA:

Shut up.

43.

JEFF STAGLIANO:

I’m cool with just bein’ the baby

daddy.

KIRA:

I’m not. I slept with you once.

JEFF STAGLIANO:

So? I sleep with a lot of people

once.

KIRA:

That’s my point, Jeff.

JEFF STAGLIANO:

Okay, so just say someone else is

the baby daddy.

KIRA:

Please don’t say it like that.

JEFF STAGLIANO:

Like what?

KIRA:

Like you’re P Diddy or something.

God! I cannot believe I ever threw

you a bang. And I am trying to

tell you that The Bomb already

knows you’re the father because

that whore Julia Myers told them.

Jeff comes up behind her and rests both hands on her belly.

JEFF STAGLIANO:

Well, whatever’s going on, you

should take it easy and not get so

tweaked.

She closes her eyes for a second, enjoying the touch.

DON’S CAMERA POV

FREEZE FRAME:

On this tableau:
Father with hands tenderly on mother’s

belly.

CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK

As Don nails the money shot.

IN THE HOUSE:

Kira begins to emerge from her reverie.

44.

KIRA:

You need to take your hands off me

now, Jeff.

DON’S CAMERA POV

CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK

FREEZE FRAME as the image becomes the COVER of THE BOMB

magazine, complete with all the tabloid graphics...

“SHE’S HAVING HIS BABY!!”

INT. JULIA’S BEDROOM

MUSIC:
The La’s, “Man I’m Only Human”

Julia is face down on the bed, sobbing. Holt sits next to

her, rubbing her back.

JULIA:

(between sobs)

She thinks I told The Bomb about

it...she thinks I told them...they

sent her publicist a fax saying

they were gonna run it in the next

issue. She said she’d never speak

to me again. I would never...you

know I would never...

CLOSE ON HOLT:

JULIA (CONT’D)

Kira has nobody...I’m so lucky I

have you.

Music continues as-

EXT. HOLLYWOOD NEWS STAND -- DAY

Julia and Holt look through the news stand. Julia spots the

magazine.

JULIA (CONT’D)

Here it is!

She pulls out the magazine. Holt looks at it with her. We

catch a look at it; Holt and Julia at a premiere, Holt

tutoring an inner-city youth, the usual drivel.

JULIA (CONT’D)

Baby, it’s awesome! I can’t

believe they just did a nice little

piece on you.

(insinuating)

Maybe they know something I don’t.

45.

Holt’s eyes flash.

HOLT:

What would they know?

JULIA:

Maybe they know a certain sexy

young leading man is about to get a

big movie or something...

HOLT:

Yeah, stranger things have

happened.

JULIA:

Hey, look at this!

(reading)

“Wagging tongues in the rumor-mill

say that Holt has several big movie

deals in the works.”

HOLT:

Wish they’d let me know about them.

JULIA:

Doesn’t matter. If they thinkyou’re hot, you’ll be hot.

HOLT:

If you say so.

JULIA:

Babe...I am so proud of you.

She puts her arms around him. She squeezes him innocently.

She starts to let go and he holds her tighter.

He looks out at the sea of magazines plastered with famous

faces and hangs on to Julia with everything he has.

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