Dirty

(WOMAN CHATTERING ON RADIO)

MAN:
So Socrates says to the guy,

"is something right,

because god says so?

Or does he say so

'cause it's the right thing to say?"

Come again?

But you know what,

if you think about it,

if something's right,

or if god says something's right,

because that's

the only right thing there is,

that concept,

that sh*t's greater than god.

And you're telling me this, why?

Well, it's called an education.

Haven't you heard, berg,

knowledge is the key.

Key to what?

I don't know,

happiness or some sh*t.

Isn't that what

little jimmy Holloway said?

Who?

Little jimmy Holloway.

He did a bid for frank sand,

up state

a couple years back.

Right.

Short guy?

Nah. He literally had

a little jimmy.

Mm-hmm.

Unfortunate nickname

if you ask me.

I think his given name

was Charles,

something like that.

Anyway, when he came

out of prison,

they found him in the river,

face down

with his little prick

stuffed halfway

down this throat.

Why? Because he knew

too much...

knowledge.

That's what knowledge got him.

I don't want knowledge.

I want ignorance, okay?

Give me ignorance anytime.

Hey.

What's happening?

What the f*** is this?

What's this philosophy sh*t?

Karen's taking it this semester.

Hey, man.

You know, that fiance of yours?

What about her?

She... she... you know.

(SIGHS)

I hope she's worth every penny,

I really do.

You know,

just because you decide

to treat everybody in the world

like they're out to f*** you,

that doesn't mean you're right.

No, it does.

That's exactly what I mean.

Hey.

You sure these guys are coming?

Oh, ye of little faith.

My ci's solid, trust me.

MAN 2:
Christopher.

Yes, sir?

You're short again. I don't

see how that's possible...

Look, how many times do we have

to have this conversation?

I don't give a f***

about your excuses,

just get it right.

Yes, sir.

Where do you think you're going?

I thought that I would just

clean up the glasses.

Who told you to think?

Hey, buddy, hey!

You gotta order a drink

or get out.

Hey. This ain't a hotel, man.

Rise and shine.

(RETCHES)

Oh, god.

Don't stand there like an idiot.

Clean that sh*t up.

(PHONE RINGS) -and the phone's

not gonna answer itself, huh?

You know, sometimes,

Christopher.

I wonder what the f***

I'm paying you for.

(MUMBLES)

Reno tavern, how may I help you?

Where the hell are you?

Vic, calm down.

Look, I'm almost done.

It's gonna be plenty of time

for me to pick up Sam at 3:30.

Do you know what day it is?

(SIGHS)

sh*t.

He gets out early on Fridays.

I am so sorry, Vic.

Is he pissed?

I'm fine, dad.

I'm the one that has to go

and pick him up, drop him off,

and then I have to go

back across town

to get to my meeting

which I am now gonna be

late for.

I mean, f***, Chris!

Did you at least get

the money together?

I'm gonna pick up a few extra

shifts next week, I promise.

Christopher, you're almost

five months behind.

I mean, you're his father

for Christ's sake.

I mean, what am I

supposed to say?

I can't be both his parents,

there's supposed to be a father

and a mother working together.

I can't do all by myself.

Christopher, why didn't you put

the new signs out yet?

Okay, honey, yeah.

VIC:
Christopher, if you

hang up on me, -love you too.

I swear...

Hello? Is anyone in there?

Oh, sorry. What?

I'm going home early today,

please make sure

that you lock up today.

And for god's sake,

don't forget to stock

all the new inventory boxes.

Last time I came in and...

I almost tripped

and I broke my neck.

(MUTTERS) yeah, I hope you

break your f***ing neck,

you piece of sh*t.

What'd you say?

Huh?

Nothing, I just, uh,

I said, I need a dolly.

Remember last time

I messed up my back, remember?

Tough sh*t.

Oh, yeah?

And if I'm not here Monday

'cause my worker's comp

has kicked in,

who's gonna lift

all those boxes? Him?

You?

Check next door.

I think they borrowed it

this morning.

Eight of 'em.

I count eight.

Berg, how much money

do you think they have in there?

I don't know.

Let's go find out shall we?

Are you f***ing serious, man?

You guys look upset.

Come on, fellas.

Enjoy yourselves.

When are you gonna make

$2 million in five minutes?

You tell me to enjoy ourself,

we came here to make

a damn drug deal.

Straight up the business, huh?

Yeah, just like that.

So, why don't you tell your boy

to pop that dope out?

F*** it, you're right.

You're right.

Guys, come on.

Bring them

what they came here for.

All right.

Oh, no,

that's a beautiful thing.

(CHUCKLES)

Show him the money, man.

It's all there.

We got a deal?

That's a done deal.

LAPD, let me see some hands!

Hands! Hands!

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

We're the LAPD.

You might have heard about us.

We're just gonna take

a couple moments of your time

and then we're gonna be

out of your hair.

You might not wanna do that.

All though they've made

advances in medical science,

they haven't yet learned

how to reattach a head.

(SNAPS FINGERS)

well, that's a good move.

Teach your wife that one.

Can we change the subject,

detective?

Here we go, first thing's first,

all you bad guys out there

with the weapons,

let's see two fingers

on the weapons.

Two fingers only, please.

Two fingers only.

Raise 'em very slowly,

very nonviolently, very good.

Now, put the weapons

on the table.

Very slowly.

Very nice.

You two in the back as well.

Thank you.

Thank you, kindly.

Good, good.

Wow, look at this one.

Now, take two steps back.

Two big steps back.

THUG:
It's like that, man.

You two motherfuckers

just gonna walk in here

without reading us our rights?

(SIGHS)

did we forget to do that?

I guess so.

These are your rights.

You have the right

to keep

your motherfucking mouth shut.

Or I'm gonna shoot

your f***ing head off.

Was that good? Yeah?

All right.

Let's do this.

(CHUCKLES) what is

this, a f***ing joke?

Huh?

You're the f***ing police,

you can't just walk out of here

with $4 million

of our drugs and money.

Oh, wow.

You finished 8th grade.

Good for you.

Wonderful.

Come on, let's go.

Do you have any f***ing clue

who I am?

I'm gonna enjoy

killing you slowly.

Yeah, that's right. I'm even

gonna kill your family members.

And I'm gonna start

with that stink ass whore

you call your mom.

This way she don't

go around polluting us

with any f***ing

greedy motherfuckers like you.

Was there anything else?

Can we finish

what we came here to do?

I think we got everything

we came here to get.

Let's go.

Right on.

Come on.

See you later, pig,

you f***ing b*tch.

You know what?

You know what,

I've had a change of heart.

I'm gonna give you your cut.

It's about time.

Here it is.

(GUNSHOTS)

That wasn't so tough,

was it, detective?

What the f***?

Why did we do that?

No witnesses.

We both agreed, no witnesses.

Okay, one loose end's

gonna f*** everything up.

Now, help me on this thing.

Come on, let's not be

sentimental here.

None these guys were angels,

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