Dirty Beatiful Page #6

---

That's reality.

Guess I should clean

this place up a little.

I went to a 12 step

meeting after Kat left,

just to check it out.

They said if you

can't help somebody

without expecting

something in return,

you shouldn't do it.

That's my relationship

with women.

It's helping them, expecting

something in return.

Hi Kat.

Been looking for you

here on Facebook.

I wish you would say hi

and tell me how you are.

Hey, you know the couple

we used to watch

with our binoculars?

I see that the girlfriend

has moved back in

and they're having more

of that nasty makeup sex.

Bet you wish you could see that.

L-M-F-A-O

I have something to share.

My god, David

wrote a real script.

Look, look, pages.

Yeah, well, don't get

too excited, alright,

you guys are gonna hate it.

It's okay, seriously.

'Cause I like it.

So great, we

finally got a David script.

And we have Dan's.

Romeo and Juliet.

Those aren't comedies.

I'm not talking career suicide,

I'm talking like

suicide suicide.

He's

not foolin' anyone,

he's not gay, man, we are so.

Dan, you're up.

Suicide pact buddy comedy.

I don't believe suicide

comedy's been done yet.

Are you kidding me?

What about Harold and Maude?

Yeah.

No, no, no.

Well, okay, I'm talking

like double suicide.

Well, that's it.

Now, I honestly loved Kat

so, I don't want

this to sound mean

but, my life is

better without her

and it's not just

because she was insane.

It takes two to make

a relationship crazy.

Something I

wanted to show you.

There's this theory,

that the universe

doesn't just break

up in the end.

But, there's actually

a new universe

growing inside of this one,

and eventually it'll just push

the old one outta the way.

Creation,

constantly rewriting itself.

I like that.

My life is better without her.

Hello.

What happened?

My god, are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I know

where that is.

No, no, I'm gonna

come to get you,

alright, just stay there.

Yes, in my car.

No, no, god no.

I made it.

Are you alright?

I got a cell phone

now so, that's cool.

What's up though?

You said there was an

emergency, you were in trouble?

I got left here.

Yeah, and?

I need a ride.

I didn't even

know you were back.

You know my car broke

down on the way here.

I had to get a ride

with some weird guy,

he was like some sort

of like faith healer,

and he put the car

on cruise control,

and he tried to expel

demons from my forehead.

Enough with this bullshit, okay?

Seriously, why'd you call me?

I'm back.

Take me home.

So, who left you?

Was it your new boyfriend?

David will take me

back, he's a big p*ssy.

Right, cause I'm a

big comfy vagina?

I can't do this, not again.

But, you'll survive,

you always do.

Stay, alright, stay right here

and don't even think

about following me.

Go.

Okay, you need some help?

Go.

You know how much I gave to you?

Do you?

No, no, no more.

No more.

Alright, I can't

write when it's messy.

You believe that, don't you?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes