Divine Intervention

DIVINE INTERVENTION

What a f***ed morning

What a pimp

What an a**hole

Son of a b*tch

Bald prick

Collaborator, husband of a whore

F*** the sister

of your children's father

F*** your mother's sister

F*** your father's sister's c*nt

Go and get f***ed

and get paid for it

A Chronicle of Love and Pain

There is no bus

Tell me when you're through,

then I'll send a contractor

Come down so we can talk

What's wrong with you?

I just want to have a coffee

Wait! Let's talk!

Easy!

-Orli?

-I'm listening

Call a doctor,

the road-digger has chest pains

He's acting up again.

Don't pay any attention to him

I'm calling in a paediatrician

Watch now, he won't say a sentence

without the word "six" in it

I was just passing,

I thought I'd say hello

Hello

How's work?

Slow

It'll pick up, God willing

How are the guys?

Getting by

By the way, yesterday, around 6,

I had 66 Shekels on me

I saw a friend, we played a game

of cards, I got a full series

I won 666 Shekels and got out

What's a full series?

When you get 6666, four sixes

There is no bus

I know

Your car is blocking my garage.

Can you move it?

Which brand?

Seat

-White?

-Yes. White

-What type?

-I don't know, but it's brand new

Which year?

Brand new

What's the numberplate?

Come on guys, go for the valuables.

Get moving

Neighbour, why do you throw

your garbage into my yard?

Aren't you ashamed?

Yes, neighbour! But the garbage

I throw in your yard...

...is the garbage you throw

in our garden

So what? It's still shameful

After all, neighbours

should respect one another

Why didn't you raise the matter

with me first?

Isn't that why God gave us tongues?

I am crazy because I love you

Kineret to Shemtov... Send the

welding machine to Kiryat Motzkin

The car goes straight

to the auction. Got it?

Hit the motherf***er!

Move back!

Make a U-turn. Get out of here

It's closed. Do you hear me?

No arguments

Go on! Get out of here!

Get lost!

Get out of here!

Igal

What?

Go away!

(between Ramallah and Jerusalem)

Open the door

Show me your ID

Where are you going?

Everybody out

I said go

in front of the tree?

-Yes

-Stay where you are

-No problem

-Wait for instructions. Don't move

Got it

Father Falls Sick

Eject the tape

Put the car into neutral

Show me your papers

Go

I Am Crazy Because I Love You

I am crazy because I love you

Come and see this...

Where?

Over there!

What do you say?

Ronen!

Look at this

Check this out...

They're making an ass of us!

Are you crazy? Put it down

-Calling 24

-I'm listening

There's a balloon

trying to get through

Can we take it down?

Stand by for instructions

Milk and honey, we've reached

our man in the East. Over

No Arabic coffee this time

We gave him a new Mitsubishi

with all the options

-So everything is arranged?

-Now it is

I heard they came down this way

They got as far as here

They sprayed the house

with a machine gun...

But you got the new car anyway?

Yes, it's nice

It's a good car

It's all electric

Look

-The windows...

-They're automatic

It's got an alarm

Guys, have some Arabic coffee

Ronen!

Go on home.

I'll deal with them

Stop! Come here!

You there, stop!

Turn off your engines

Attention everyone...

Get your IDs out

Your IDs!

You, get out!

Come here...

Go away!

You get out. Come here!

Open your jacket!

Nice. Imported

Let's see some ID

Take the jacket off

Get lost!

Let's see what we have here...

Mohammed Abed Rabbo

Wanted man no. 4

What does wanted man no. 4 want?

He wants to get laid in Jerusalem?

Jerusalem reunited!

But it's Ramadan, no?

During Ramadan, there's no f***ing

So you come to eat

in Jerusalem, Mohammed?

There's no food

in Ramallah, Mohammed?

Where's Mohammed?

Where did he go?

What are you doing?

Get out

Get in this car

You, come here!

Go on, get in there!

You! Out of there!

Don't be scared. Stand next to me

Stand straight!

Long live the people of Israel!

Sing, f***er!

Start your engines!

Get out of here!

Come Shoot If You're Ready

Load... arms!

Attention!

Aim!

Assume your positions!

Attention!

Aim!

Fire!

Father Dies

What do you expect? This neighbourhood

is the sister of a pimp

Yesterday,

I wanted to get my car out...

...and someone was blocking my way

We are a decent lot,

parking is a real problem

I got this kid and told him

"See if the driver is at your place"

I lit a cigarette and waited

Waited and waited and waited

No one came

I thought,

"He must be sipping an arak"

And then he shows up.

He sees me

He opens his trunk. He takes

a Hoover, a dustpan and brush...

...he starts cleaning his car

I said, "This is not good timing"

Let's see how far he goes

He cleaned his car front,

back and front again

He started to back out with the carpets,

his ass like it was in reverse

I got out

I waited till his head was level with

the door and banged it and banged it...

...till his head was as red

as a monkey's ass

"You want to clean your car?"

My brother heard the noise

"What's happening?"

"Nothing, he wants to clean his car"

The family came to help him out

My brother said, "Stay where you are"

He grabbed the guy and said, "Want

to clean your car, brother of a whore?"

He beat the sh*t out of him

and knocked him flat

Now the guy is in hospital,

his ribs are all broken

He wanted to clean his car,

the son of a whore!

That's enough. Stop it now

In memory of my father

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