Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood Page #2

Let us take you to dinner. We'll get

on the first plane in the morning.

No questions asked.

Broadway!

I just can't get over it.

Your mama is so proud!

For God's sake, we said

we wouldn't talk about Vivi.

We took a solemn oath,

and there you go!

It was an accident.

Why don't somebody go to the bathroom?

That always makes the food come.

I'll go.

I need to call Connor anyway.

Wait, what is it?

I got it from a caddy at the club.

It's a "Roofie" or something.

- He said it'd knock her on her ass!

- No! Roofies!

That's the date rape drug! We can't!

She's a teetotaler

with these little drinks!

Then what?

We can't conk her on the head!

Give her half.

She's a Walker, she can take it!

Here she comes!

I had to taste it.

It's delish!

Didn't work.

The food, it didn't come.

It didn't, did it?

Guess not.

Well...

...here's to Mama.

Long may she rave.

Ya-Ya!

No!

No! What is wrong with you women?!

- Sleeping Beauty is up.

- Sleeping tiger. I'll make coffee.

I'll get the whip.

I have a play in rehearsal,

a fianc and a headache!

We flew you first class.

Doesn't that count for anything?

No!

I don't get those underwear

up your ass crack.

- They don't cover a thing.

- I don't get it either.

Listen up this minute.

I'm not a child.

I'm a grown woman with a life

a thousand miles away. I'm going back.

I got coffee.

Good old Louisiana chicory.

- What are y'all doing?

- A Ya-Ya mission of mercy.

An intervention.

Why me?

I've been in therapy for 15 years.

With a professional!

She's the one that needs help.

You're right. But she's getting old,

like all of us. She is what she is.

But you have a long life ahead of you.

You shouldn't have to spend it

angry and resentful.

I'm not angry!

And my only resentment is y'all...

...disrupting my life

because Mama's pissed!

All I did was tell the truth!

Hold on, I'm spinning.

- What's that doing here?

- More will be revealed.

Don't you dare tell her we have it.

They're not talking, Necie.

That's why we're all out here.

Siddo, kiddo,

she doesn't know you're here.

Or that we have the book.

That's how it should stay.

But there are some things

in there that might...

...make a difference in how you feel

about Viviane Joan Abbott Walker.

I don't care if she was whacked

over the head by leprechauns.

- I just want to get out of here!

- You want out?

That book minus the chip on

your shoulder is your ticket back.

Thief.

- Cheers, darling.

- Cheers.

All right. Who wants to drown?

You, Sidda.

You show them how it's done!

Who's in trouble?

S-l-D-D-A!

Flail, darling. Make it look good!

Say a prayer.

Dear Jesus, we ask

that you help Miss Sidda.

She's going to die!

Petite darling, you were almost

a goner, but I think you'll make it!

That was stellar. You had me

believing there for a minute.

I knew I hadn't lost my touch.

You look good, Willetta.

Look like your old self again.

Don't be talking about old! You the one

with the birthday around the corner.

Don't be talking about birthdays.

You gonna tell me what's wrong?

Or do I have to use what brain cells

I got left to figure it out?

There's nothing wrong. Really.

Except...

...well, Sidda.

I wasn't a horrible mother, was I?

This about that Time magazine thing?

- How'd you know about that?

- Mr. Shep tell Chaney everything.

And Chaney tell me everything.

And I don't tell nobody nothing.

But I'm going to tell you

something right now.

Sooner or later...

...everybody's bill comes due.

You just got to let the child

feel the way she feel.

- There ain't nothing else to do.

- Sh*t.

Clubs are trump. It's all trumps.

Oh, my God.

Look at how young y'all are.

Oh, my God!

I would give anything

to know then what I know now.

And to still have those thighs.

I'm sure they're still buried

in there somewhere.

What in the hell?

That was when we went to Atlanta for

the premiere of Gone With the Wind.

- You're joking.

- No. My Uncle James invited us.

Aunt Louise was a big society

hoity-toity in Atlanta.

Oh, Necie.

- Oh, my letter.

- Necie, where were you?

My parents didn't think Willetta

was a suitable chaperone...

...so I missed the big scene.

But your mama, the budding journalist,

wrote to me every day.

All two of them.

"Dearest Countess Singing Cloud...

...we arrived in Atlanta after

an eternity on the Southern Crescent.

They made Willetta ride

in the colored car...

...so we were on our own

almost the whole way."

Girls, get yourselves on upstairs now.

And for heaven's sake, get that maid

in a uniform right away.

And get that ugly luggage

into the house...

...before somebody thinks we got

a bunch of hobos coming to stay.

Know what Mama says? She says Uncle

James and Aunt Lou are nouveaux riches.

- What's that?

- I don't know. But it's not good.

"But, sugaroo...

...from the looks of this place,

nouveau riche is better than no riche.

You never saw so many

beautiful things in all your life.

It's like a museum, or even a palace.

Just think. All this...

...and I'm gonna meet Miss Margaret

Mitchell and Clark Gable too."

I feel like a Paris princess.

What y'all doing in that tub?

How are y'all supposed to get clean?

Get on out of there!

Look at you, all done up

in that uniform.

I'll take a picture

and show everyone at home!

No, you ain't. Now, get your

clothes on for fancy dinner.

They got it all done up

like they's the king of England.

Isn't this the most magnificent thing?

I suppose that's what I'd be thinking

if I was you. Come on.

Lord, I done died and gone to hell.

"When we went upstairs,

our beds were turned down...

...just like in a fancy hotel.

But even though it was the most

exciting night of my life...

...I had a feeling things weren 't

going so well for Willetta."

Willetta?

What you doing down here?

Get yourself back up in that bed.

Why are you crying?

- Because I misses my family.

- You miss Maman Delia?

Child, your gran ain't my family.

I got my own gran.

And my own mama and daddy too.

You want to play cards? Like at home?

No, child,

I don't want to play no cards.

Then how about some hot chocolate?

Will you make me some, Willetta?

Child, if you want hot chocolate,

go fix it yourself.

James! Why in the world are you

wearing that hat in the house?

- Will Miss Mitchell be at the premiere?

- Who knows?

After the Junior League denied her

membership, she's been unpredictable.

Of course, she left us no choice,

and she's still steaming.

She brought it on herself

with that Apache dance.

Here's your hot chocolate,

just like you likes it.

Who told you you could walk your black

Louisiana ass into our dining room?

You got ears, n*gger?

Get on out of here.

- Did I hear you right?

- What, y'all deaf?

- I heard him loud and clear.

- Me too.

Shut your mouth,

you prissy-ass little mama's boy!

- Apologize before I send you back to...

- Aunt Lou!

Let go of her, or I'll let that ugly

halfwit you call Junior have it again!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes