Do You Like My Basement Page #3

Yes, thanks.

I just realized you have

an Australian accent?

It's English actually.

Huh.

I like that, the way you

say "actually."

That's just like

the motherfucking queen!

Stanley.

I know something

is going on here.

My best friend in the world

suddenly disappears

without saying a word

and then some crazy English

talking motherf***er

is in her house filming me?

Get that camera out of my face!

Look, I don't know

what you want me to say.

I'm telling you the

truth, all right?

I want to know

what is going on here,

and if you don't tell

me right now

I'm coming back

with my homeboys

and they gonna f*** you up

'til I find out

what is going on here.

Tell me you

didn't just punch me!

Oh sh*t!

F***!

You motherfucking inject me?

You think you can f*** with me?

I'll kill your ass!

I ain't no f***ing victim!

Sh*t!

What the f*** you do to me?

Sh*t!

What'd you do to me?

Oh, God!

Please, let me go!

Oh, God, please help me!

Stanley?

It's Auntie Helen.

Auntie Helen.

Hi, how are you?

Great, now that I can finally

speak to my only nephew.

I just wanted to see

how you're doing out there.

Yeah, no, I'm...

I'm fine.

Everything's...

Everything's going good.

It's a great town.

You sound exhausted.

Did I catch you on

the hop or something?

Yeah, something like that.

So, come on, tell me.

How many films have you made?

Are you in LA yet?

No, not quite yet.

Things have been pretty

slow of late.

But I'm actually doing

something of my own right now.

Oh, that's great.

Your Mom says hi, by the way.

Stanley?

She said hi,

and to send her love to you.

Yeah, yeah...

Okay, okay.

I'm sure you're

okay for friends.

All of yours out here miss you.

Said to send their best.

That's nice to hear.

I've met a lot

of people out here.

All of them are awesome.

Because you know if you wanted

to, you know, you could always

come home and live

with me and Ben again.

You like Ben, don't you?

I know you like the pub

at the end of the street.

I do like that pub.

I'm just in the middle of

something right now

and you know,

when it is finished,

I know it's gonna make me.

There hasn't been

anything quite like this before.

And you'll hear about it.

And if it doesn't work out,

then maybe I'll think about

coming home.

You promise?

Yeah, I promise.

Okay.

Well, you take good care of

yourself and I do miss you.

I really do.

I miss you, too.

We both do.

Bye, now.

Hello, we are here

for the film.

Splendid.

Do come in.

I'm Stanley.

I am Manami.

This is my daughter, Kumiko.

Pleased to meet you.

Pleased to meet you both, too.

Please come through.

Can I get you anything?

No thank you, Mister Stanley.

So Mister Stanley, can tell

us what the film is about

I'm sorry.

I'm laughing at

your serious expressions.

They are very concerned.

This is a

no-holds-barred horror film.

Mister Stanley, is that

why you advertise "no pussies"?

Kumi!

Correct.

"No pussies" would indicate

a certain amount of...

balls, to be

anatomically precise.

And you can just

call me Stanley,

there is no need for

the "Mister."

So, Stanley, what

is the film about?

The film is about a man

who advertises a reward

for people who can spend

the night in his basement.

So something happens to

them when they stay?

Exactly.

What happens to them?

Something happens to them.

Mister Stanley, I

would like to know

what happens to them.

For me, it would help me

understand the film more.

Yes, but what I want is

a spontaneous reaction,

so whatever happens

is played as authentic

and the reaction from

you will be real.

I understand.

So this will allow for a

more improvised reaction?

Exactly.

I understand.

Ahhh...

So it is like a reality horror?

Oh, very much so.

Oh, I am very excited now.

So how do we begin?

Well, we could go down to

the basement and begin now,

but I'm not sure it'll work if

your mother is there with us.

Will she be okay

to stay up here?

I don't think the atmosphere

will be right

if she comes down.

You need to feel isolated.

I can go and come back

an hour, Kumi.

How about if I make

you a cup of tea

and you can stay right here?

Okay, I will stay.

Better put the kettle

on then hadn't I?

We'll have to wait

for the water to boil.

My name is Frank Delacourt.

I'm 36 years old.

I work as a finance adviser

for Woolams and Gaskin.

What do you want from me?

Continue, please.

Let's talk about your

relationship.

Oh, please...

She's a good woman.

Don't harm her.

What would you say is your

favorite thing to do together,

say on a special

Saturday night?

What?

Voila.

And something to read.

Thank you.

What kind of tea is this?

Oh, it's an English brew.

So I should let you know,

you may hear some screaming

which will sound rather

like Kumiko here

is being murdered and

sliced into small pieces,

but she will in fact

be just acting.

Huh?

Mom, it is okay if

you hear me make a scream

or like I am in pain,

just ignore.

We can do a few takes,

so she gets used to

hearing the sounds.

I will be okay.

Okay.

I'll leave this camera here.

I have another one

set up in the basement.

Shall we?

Yo, man, what you filming?

Just a little project of mine.

Can I have six prepaid

phones please?

What is it, a film?

Yeah, a feature film.

I'm gonna be in it?

If you want to be.

I'll be in it if you make me

rich off all those royalties.

Sure.

All right.

Let me know when it comes out.

I definitely will...

Thanks.

All right.

I am ready.

Excellent...

Let's begin.

Something the matter?

It smells bad here.

That, my dear, is all part

of the physical experience.

Now, I want you to

close your eyes

and let your mind go dark.

Let the inky depths of the

blackest night into your mind.

And imagine that

you are confined

to a very small space.

Keep your eyes closed but

imagine you have opened them

but it remains dark,

and you realize that

you are inside a coffin.

A very small, tight,

claustrophobic coffin.

I want you to feel the

coffin around you

and choke on the putrid

stench of rotting flesh

as you realize...

it is you who is about

to experience death next.

Kumi!

I'm acting!

It's okay!

Well,

that was pretty convincing

if your mother's reaction

is anything to go by.

Okay, I have a slightly

different scenario now.

I'm going to blindfold you

and I want to see how well

you react to

actually being in the dark.

Oh.

This will be

frightening for me.

What are you doing?

Wandering around...

Wandering...

around.

Wandering...

Wandering...

Wondering...

...how you

will feel..

...when you can't talk

ever again...

because your

tongue has been removed?

Oh, excuse me?

Did you say something

about my tongue?

Hello?

Hey, Stanley, this is Chad.

I don't know if you

remember me,

but I auditioned for you

a few days ago and you said

you would be having callbacks

this week maybe.

Yes, Chad, I do remember you.

And I am having callbacks,

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