DOA: Dead or Alive

Princess Kasumi.

Your brother is dead.

Your destiny is to lead your people.

(CHIRPING)

I will not believe he is dead

until I see his body.

There is no body.

Then he is not dead.

- I am going to find him.

- The guards won't let you leave.

I am not a cricket in a box.

I alone determine my destiny.

But, Princess, as your brother's best friend

you must let me help you.

If my brother is really dead

then you are no longer his best friend.

Princess Kasumi, if you leave

you suffer the same fate as your brother.

You'll become an outcast,

a shinobi.

So be it.

Princess, the guards will kill you.

(SWORD UNSHEATHING)

Ayane, I know of your love for my brother.

I will find Hayate and bring him home.

Princess Kasumi,

I beg you, do not leave the clan.

I am your servant. But if you leave,

I'm honor-bound to kill you.

Miss Armstrong, I'm sorry to interrupt,

but it's your father again.

I told you I'm busy.

But, Miss Armstrong, he just...

- Okay, put him on speaker.

- Very good.

Hi, Dad, what's up?

BASS:
Sweetheart, I just hope you know

what you're giving up.

Dad, we already talked about this.

But if you get the afternoon flight,

you can still make it

to the Tag Team Championship

in Des Moines.

Dad, I already told you, I am done wrestling.

I'm done being fake. I'm done.

Sweetheart?

Are you there?

Hey, Dad. I'm gonna have to call you back

in a minute, okay?

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Miss Armstrong.

(WHISTLING)

Miss Armstrong!

Here's the deal, lady. We want the yacht.

If you do exactly as we say, you'll live.

If you don't,

then you'll pay with excruciating...

No deal, boys.

You boys get off my yacht now,

and y'all will avoid excruciating pain.

(LAUGHING)

(CRACKLING)

(SCREAMING)

You need some help, buddy?

It's okay. Come on. Come on. It's okay.

I'll give you a hand. Yeah.

Yeah.

What do you know?

Looks like I'm going to the ball after all.

- May I help you?

- You're under arrest.

Someone broke into the safe

at the Hotel Peking last night.

Stole cash and diamonds.

We received an anonymous tip it was you.

- It was Max.

- He said it was you.

You just said your tip was anonymous.

Tell me about the diamonds.

Well, they're a girl's best friend.

Made from carbon

subjected to high pressure.

Traditionally a 60th wedding

anniversary gift.

And they're forever.

Well, perhaps spending a few hours

in a cold cell under some hot lights

will make you a little more agreeable.

- Could I at least get dressed first?

- Be my guest.

(SWALLOWING)

Would you hand me my bra, please?

Do me up.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

CHRISTIE:
Evening.

(GRUNTS RESPONSE)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(GRUNTING)

Hey, you okay?

MASTER:
Kasumi has abandoned the temple.

She has become shinobi, an outcast.

A disgrace to the clan

like her brother before her.

You must follow her.

Find her and kill her.

Welcome to the world's greatest

martial arts tournament, DOA.

I'm Helena Douglas and I want

to thank you for accepting our invitation.

Each of you has been individually selected

because you represent the best

fighting style in your specialized field.

Soon you will get a chance to prove

that you are the best fighter in the world.

And at the same time,

pick up a $10 million prize.

In the meantime,

relax before the real fun begins.

God, this is so embarrassing, Dad.

I cannot believe you're here.

What? I got an invitation just like you.

Tina Armstrong. Baby.

So, how come you're here?

That lady just said,

"The best in your fighting style."

Now if I recall, you're a wrestler.

Wrestling ain't really fighting, now is it?

- Don't worry, Tina, he's beneath you.

- I sure would like to be.

- Son of a...

- Dad.

Whatever.

God, I cannot wait to kick his ass.

- Why do you follow me?

- I was invited to DOA.

- I promise not to harm you.

- Unless we meet in a match.

- Max.

- Oh, no.

Max!

Listen, I don't know

who you're pretending to be

or how you got yourself invited to DOA,

(GROANS)

but what I do know is you left me alone

in my Hong Kong hotel room.

I would never leave

such a woman as you alone.

Especially not in a hotel room.

I'm winning the $10 million prize money.

And if I get to put your double-dealing arse

in the "D" column of "Dead or Alive",

(GROANS)

so much the better.

Let me help you with that.

Hey, everybody.

I hope you're enjoying the flight.

My welcome gift to you is this.

To get to DOA Island

you have to bail out now.

Parachutes are under your seats.

Just aim for the Buddha on your left.

Have fun.

Oh, and one more thing.

Whoever doesn't make it to the compound

by sundown is disqualified.

(WIND WHISTLING)

Princess, allow me to go first.

CHRISTIE:
Looks like we landed off target.

How in hell

are we supposed to get up there?

KASUMI:
We'd better get going.

Well, you're both on your own.

I don't do teams.

That's fine with me. Any team you're part of

is bound to lose anyway.

Well, I'll remember that

when I'm collecting the $10 million.

CHRISTIE:
Okay. Here goes.

Race you.

If we're going to make it,

we need to work together.

Hey!

(GRUNTS)

KASUMI:
Sorry.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, God, what are you doing down there?

Jesus, hurry up.

We've gotta go.

Thanks, guys.

Hey, what took you guys so long?

TINA:
Who the hell is that?

Trust me, you don't want to know.

Welcome to DOA. Glad you made it.

I'm afraid you guys were the last to arrive.

Now, if you'll all follow me,

I will conduct you to the others.

COMPUTER:
DOA combatants, your host,

Dr. Victor Donovan.

Welcome to you all.

Dead or Alive was created

by the late great Fame Douglas,

Helena's father and my very good friend.

Fame's will decreed this tournament,

and as of this year, marking her

My assistants will escort you to the lab

where you will now undergo

a complete physical.

DONOVAN:
Once you pass your physicals,

DOA begins.

Hey, this thing kind of reminds me

of a disco.

- Zack.

- Yo.

May I please remind you

of the importance of this procedure?

It's important, I know.

But you can't stop Zack, man.

You can only hope to contain him a little bit.

So, what do you got there,

some modern kind of dentistry chair?

- I'm sorry, sweetheart.

- It's okay.

Weatherby, have you got those

diagnostic reports I requested?

Thank you.

And how do our contestants look?

We got a strong group, sir.

They look really good.

Bring up Tina Armstrong.

I was impressed with her musculature.

Oh, God, this is gonna hurt.

Standard procedure, Miss Armstrong.

Everyone's going through this.

- DONOVAN:
Are the nanobots broadcasting?

- Perfectly. All contestants are online.

All metabolic functions

and muscle movements

are being broadcast

and ready to download to computer.

Good. Start a contestant database.

WEATHERBY:
We are up and recording.

This is Donovan to all combatants.

Welcome to DOA.

Fights can happen anytime, anyplace,

against anyone.

I select match-ups

based on computer analyses

of the most competitive scenarios.

The computer will broadcast

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