Doc Hollywood

Coming through!

I'm telling you again,

keep your hands off me!

Please sir, I'll be with you in a moment.

Don't walk away!

What kind of doctor are you, anyway?

Just a minute.

Doctor, I can't feel my arm!

I can't feel your arm right now, either...

Can somebody feel his arm?

I can't feel it!

Don't touch my hair!

Kiss the boo-boo! Kiss the boo-boo!

Hey, you're still here.

Yeah, I'm still here. Can you believe it?

Oh, hey! Save me some coffee, you savage.

Down here. And it's over here.

And it's on my hand...

What's this, "Alfred Hitchcock Presents?"

Hey, what's the problem?

Gunshot wound, shoulder and abdomen.

We've been paging you for five minutes.

You on California time already?

I was in radiology working on my tan.

Pulse one-twenty.

Okay, get this guy typed and crossed, huh?

Okay, okay, question.

Beverly Hills.

The most beautiful women in the world.

Plastic surgery. What do these

three things have in common? Huh?

Me, in less than a week.

Okay, don't worry about his shoulder.

This guy's probably bleeding internally.

Lap him, push another bottle of ringers.

Call Dr. Sotto.

Tell him to prep for O.R.,

'cause I'm outta here tonight.

Man, try to convince me

I'm gonna be nostalgic for this place..

.. when I'm at the Halberstrom Clinic.

You're going to Halberstrom?

Cosmetic surgery for the rich and famous.

Yeah, well, I'm not in it for the money.

Half a million dollar salary

the first year he makes partner.

Look, the high-profile, high-profit stuff

just makes it possible for us to do..

.. reconstructive surgery

for the needier patients.

You're a saint. You got

another customer over there.

All right. Get out of here. I'll cover it.

My going-away present to you...

.. Okay, what's the problem?

Too much fun. Substance unknown.

Okay, stay with us.

Hey! Stay with us.

What'd you take, man, huh?

Bluebirds, dillies, love boats?

I heard, uh, Halberstrom might

not even hire anyone this year.

Well, I'm not anyone.

Listen, Mulready, some of the guys are

having a little bash for me tonight.

A going-away party, you know. And

if you're interested in it, I'd love to...

Not in this lifetime. Good night.

Oh my God.

Clean up. -Thanks.

Come on. What do you say, guys?

Dinner, huh? At least think about it.

Come on... it's my last night.

A couple of lousy beers?

Take care, man.

Guys?

I'll send you a postcard...

What?

At the risk of sounding schmaltzy,

I just want to tell you that, uh,

.. you're a schmuck,

and I hope I never see you again.

Thanks, Tommy. I know how hard

it was for you to say that.

You're a good doctor, Ben. I just thought

you were gonna practice real medicine.

You think I'm making a mistake

going to Halberstrom?

Nah. Cosmetic surgery, it's clean.

You make tons of money. Nobody dies.

What's wrong with that, right?

Right.

Bye, Ben.

Ah, come on...

Whoa! Look out!

You're crazy, Ray!

Read it to me. Read it.

If he goes that way, he won't get there.

It's three miles to the...

All right, all right, okay, okay.

Can I just ask you? Where am I now?

He just ornery on me,

and I didn't know what to do.

Oh man! Oh God! Oh God! I'm okay.

Sh*t! Accident. A woman in the

middle of the road with a cow!

Oh God! All right, I'm okay. All right.

Oh man, my car! Oh!

The whole front end is shot!

Am I glad you're here.

Is that a fifty-six or a

fifty-seven Speedster?

Fifty-six.

Hey, come on! Get out! Get out! Will you

get out of the car? Get away from there.

Took me three weeks to build that fence.

Look, I'm sorry.

Now, does this have a super ninety

engine or a sixteen hundred?

The way I look at it,

it wasn't really anybody's fault.

So my insurance company will

probably pay for the entire fence.

And, and that should be fine. Is that okay?

Won't be the same.

Wait. This ain't a kit car, is it?

No, it ain't. It isn't...

My name is Ben Stone. Look, I'm a... I'm a

doctor. I'm a medical doctor. I'm a surgeon.

Awesome. Who thrashed the fence?

I'm Ben Stone. Now I can give you the

address of my clinic in Los Angeles.

Did he just say he's been stoned?

He says he's from L.A.

Send me the bill there. If you want,

we can handle it with plastic.

I'm not really from L.A.

I'm just on my way to...

You lucky I just happened to be passing

through. -What's in the trunk? Pot?

I'm a surgeon. Uh... come on. Will you

get away! Get away! Get away from the car!

Sorry.

Not you, the dog.

Probably the finest fence I'll ever put up.

I know a Willie Stone up in Stanton.

That family of yours?

Can I tell you I understand

what you're trying to do here?

Hey, this the new Mazda?

Porsche Speedster.

I will not put up with

any small-town bullshit!

Hey, where's the dang engine?

Get away from this car!

You're not touching this car.

You don't even know where the engine is!

Gotcha.

Look, I'm sorry about what happened.

But it was an accident, okay?

It was nobody's fault.

Get me to a telephone.

I'll call a Porsche mechanic in the

next big city. I'll get my car fixed.

I'll be on my way... and...

and you can go back to doing, you know..

.. whatever it is you do.

All right. I admit!

I flattened the damn fence.

What are you gonna do? Lock me up?

Court finds defendant guilty of crimes

under motor vehicle code 4-50-3 dash 1-9,

.. reckless driving, and 4-60 dash 2,

reckless endangerment.

This is insane.

No, this is Grady.

Your honor, there were cows

in the middle of the road.

I told you my insurance company

would be happy to pay for a new fence.

I built that fence myself!

Neither you nor your insurance

can pay me for a fence I built myself.

Can't be done. Next best thing

would be a fence that you built.

These hands are delicate instruments.

But I doubt if you could build

a good fence anyway. Therefore,

seeing how youre a licensed physician,

and we're a town in acute

shortage of medical care..

Oh, you wouldn't...

Your sentence will be sixteen

hours of community service,

served as resident doctor

at Grady Memorial Hospital.

All right, look. I have to be in

Los Angeles by Tuesday, so I don't...

Thirty-two hours.

This is extortion!

You want sixty-four hours?

No.

Court is adjourned.

All rise.

I am so f***ed.

Watch your language, Doc.

You're in the buckle of the Bible Belt here.

Might try saying, fudge or something.

"Fiddlesticks" too strong?

Depends.

Don't you worry about

your automobile, now, Doc.

See, I always wanted an excuse

to buy me a set of metric tools.

Sugar.

Sh*t!

I'm Dr. Benjamin Stone. Nurse Packer.

I'm assuming Judge Evans told you.

Fine, here's what I need. Umm,

.. comfortable bed, hot shower, warm meal,

locker to put my stuff in, general idea...

Could you show me

some kind of identification, please?

I'm wearing glasses there.

I wear contacts now.

My hair's a little shorter.

That's a mustache. It's a bad picture.

If you could just direct me to the

physician on call tonight, I'll speak to him

"When to call me. You've been stabbed,

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