Doctor who the end of the world

Season #1 Episode #2

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Tardis]

(Carrying straight on from the last episode. The Doctor and Rose are lit in green light from the time rotor.)

DOCTOR:
Right then, Rose Tyler, you tell me. Where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time. It's your choice. What's it going to be?

ROSE:
Forwards.

DOCTOR:
How far?

ROSE:
One hundred years.

(A few seconds of travel.)

DOCTOR:
There you go. Step outside those doors, it's the twenty second century.

ROSE:
You're kidding.

DOCTOR:
That's a bit boring, though. Do you want to go further?

ROSE:
Fine by me.

DOCTOR:
Ten thousand years in the future. Step outside, it's the year 12005, the new Roman Empire.

ROSE:
You think you're so impressive.

DOCTOR:
I am so impressive.

ROSE:
You wish.

DOCTOR:
Right then, you asked for it. I know exactly where to go. Hold on!

(The Tardis zooms down a time vortex.)

ROSE:
Where are we? What's out there?

[Gallery 15]

(Rose goes down a flight of steps and a large shutter in the wall descends to reveal an orbital view of the Earth.)

DOCTOR:
You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you survive. This is the year five point five slash apple slash twenty six. Five billion years in your future, and this is the day

(He looks at his wrist watch.)

DOCTOR:
Hold on.

(The sun flares and turns red.)

DOCTOR:
This is the day the Sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world.

[Space]

(A pair of small spaceships approach a large cruciform space station hanging in Earth orbit.)

COMPUTER:
Shuttles five and six now docking. Guests are reminded that Platform One forbids the use of weapons, teleportation and religion. Earth Death is scheduled for fifteen thirty nine

[Platform One]

COMPUTER:
Followed by drinks in the Manchester Suite.

(The Doctor and Rose walk along a corridor.)

ROSE:
So, when it says guests, does that mean people?

DOCTOR:
Depends what you mean by people.

ROSE:
I mean people. What do you mean?

DOCTOR:
Aliens.

ROSE:
What are they doing on board this spaceship? What's it all for?

DOCTOR:
It's not really a spaceship, more like an observation deck. The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn.

(The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver on a wall panel.)

ROSE:
What for?

DOCTOR:
Fun.

[Observation gallery]

(A large area with a few display cases and a view of space to the front and above.)

DOCTOR:
Mind you, when I said the great and the good, what I mean is, the rich.

ROSE:
But, hold on. They did this once on Newsround Extra. The sun expanding, that takes hundreds of years.

DOCTOR:
Millions, but the planet's now property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there? Gravity satellites holding back the sun.

ROSE:
The planet looks the same as ever. I thought the continents shifted and things.

DOCTOR:
They did, and the Trust shifted them back. That's a classic Earth. But now the money's run out, nature takes over.

ROSE:
How long's it got?

DOCTOR:
About half an hour and then the planet gets roasted.

ROSE:
Is that why we're here? I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?

DOCTOR:
I'm not saving it. Time's up.

ROSE:
But what about the people?

DOCTOR:
It's empty. They're all gone. No one left.

ROSE:
Just me, then.

(A blue-skinned person with golden slit eyes strides towards them.)

STEWARD:
Who the hell are you?

DOCTOR:
Oh, that's nice, thanks.

STEWARD:
But how did you get in? This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked. They're on their way any second now.

DOCTOR:
That's me. I'm a guest. Look, I've got an invitation. Look. There, you see? It's fine, you see? The Doctor plus one. I'm the Doctor, this is Rose Tyler. She's my plus one. Is that all right?

(The Doctor puts away the piece of apparently blank paper he was showing to the steward.)

STEWARD:
Well, obviously. Apologies, et cetera. If you're on board, we'd better start. Enjoy.

(The Steward goes over to a lecturn.)

DOCTOR:
The paper's slightly psychic. It shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time.

ROSE:
He's blue.

DOCTOR:
Yeah.

ROSE:
Okay.

STEWARD:
We have in attendance the Doctor and Rose Tyler. Thank you. All staff to their positions.

(A lot of small people appear.)

STEWARD:
Hurry, now, thank you. Quick as we can. Come along, come along. And now, might I introduce the next honoured guest? Representing the Forest of Cheam, we have trees, namely, Jabe, Lute and Coffa.

(A bark-skinned woman enters with two larger male escorts.)

STEWARD:
There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace. If you could keep the room circulating, thank you. Next, from the solicitors Jolco and Jolco, we have the Moxx of Balhoon.

(Another blue alien, this time mostly head and body, sitting on a transport pod.)

STEWARD:
And next, from Financial Family Seven, we have the Adherents of the Repeated Meme.

(A group of black-robed bipeds.)

STEWARD:
The inventors of Hypo-slip Travel Systems, the brothers Hop Pyleen. Thank you.

(Fur clad reptilians. The announcements of variations on the biped theme continue.)

STEWARD:
Cal Spark Plug. Mister and Mrs Pakoo. The Ambassadors from the City State of Binding Light.

(The trees go up to the Doctor.)

JABE:
The Gift of Peace. I bring you a cutting of my Grandfather.

(She gives the Doctor a rooted twig in a small pot.)

DOCTOR Thank you. Yes, gifts. Er, I give you in return air from my lungs.

(He breathes gently on Jabe.)

JABE:
How intimate.

DOCTOR:
There's more where that came from.

JABE:
I bet there is.

STEWARD:
From the Silver Devastation, the sponsor of the main event, please welcome the Face of Boe.

(A large glass case barely makes it through the doorway. It contains a giant humanoid head with straggly hair and squinting eyes.)

DOCTOR:
The Moxx of Balhoon.

MOXX:
My felicitations on this historical happenstance. I give you the gift of bodily salivas.

(Moxx's spit hits Rose in the face.)

DOCTOR:
Thank you very much.

(The black-robed group glide up.)

DOCTOR:
Ah! The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. I bring you air from my lungs.

(A large metal hand holds out a ball.)

ADHERENT:
A gift of peace in all good faith.

STEWARD:
And last but not least, our very special guest. Ladies and gentlemen, and trees and multiforms, consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth the last Human. The Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen.

(A face in a piece of thin skin stretched in a rectangular frame is wheeled in by two men hidden in top-to-toe hospital whites. She is modelled on, and voiced by, Zoe Wanamaker.)

CASSANDRA:
Oh, now, don't stare. I know, I know it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away and look at the difference. Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over two thousand. Moisturise me. Moisturise me.

(One of her attendants uses a pump spray on the skin.)

CASSANDRA:
Truly, I am the last Human. My father was a Texan, my mother was from the Arctic Desert. They were born on the Earth and were the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to honour them and say goodbye. Oh, no tears, no tears. I'm sorry. But behold, I bring gifts. From Earth itself, the last remaining ostrich egg. Legend says it had a wingspan of fifty feet and blew fire from its nostrils. Or was that my third husband? Oh, no. Oh, don't laugh. I'll get laughter lines. And here, another rarity.

(Rose has walked round the back of Cassandra to see just how thin she is, and a 50's juke box is wheeled in.)

CASSANDRA:
According to the archives, this was called an iPod. It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on!

(One of the little attendants presses a button, a 45 is selected and the strains of Tainted Love by Soft Cell ring out.)

STEWARD:
Refreshments will now be served. Earth Death in thirty minutes.

(Rose finally can't take all the aliens, and runs out. The Doctor goes to follow her, but gets intercepted.)

JABE:
Doctor?

(Flash! from a device she is holding. A type of camera, presumably.)

JABE:
Thank you.

ADHERENT:
A gift of peace in all good faith.

STEWARD:
No, you're very kind, but I'm just the Steward.

ADHERENT:
A gift of peace in all good faith.

STEWARD:
Well, yes, thank you. Of course.

(The steward takes the proffered ball. Jabe consults her camera, which twitters like a bird.)

JABE:
Identify species. Please identify species. Now stop it. Identify his race. Where's he from? It's impossible.

(She hurries away. One of the Adherant's gifts has been placed on a shelf in a display stand. It opens, and a four-legged metal spider scurries away.)

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