Doctor Who The Lodger Page #4

Season #5 Episode #11

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Craig:
I've had a bit of a weird day. Can we do pizza booze telly?

Sophie:
Great, love it. Wait. No Melina, no crises, no interruptions.

(Sophie turns off her phone.)

Craig:
Great. Excellent. Er, Soph. I've, I think.

Sophie:
Where's this going?

Craig:
I think that we should

SOPHIE:
Mmm?

(The Doctor pops up behind the sofa, ruining the moment.)

The Doctor:
Hello.

Craig:
What?

The Doctor:
Whoops. Sorry. Don't worry, I wasn't listening. In a world of my own down there.

Craig:
I thought you were going out?

The Doctor:
Just re-connecting all the electrics. It's a real mess. Where's the on switch for this?

(He says as he's holding a regular screwdriver.)

Craig:
He really is just on his way out.

Sophie:
No, I don't mind. I mean, if you don't mind.

Craig:
I don't mind. Why would I mind?

Sophie:
Then stay. Have a drink with us.

The Doctor:
What? Do I have to stay now?

Craig:
Do you want to stay?

The Doctor:
I don't mind.

Sophie:
Okay.

Craig:
Great.

(A little later, the Doctor is still working on the wiring as the three have glasses of wine.)

Sophie:
Because life can seem pointless, you know, Doctor. Work, weekend, work, weekend. And there's six billion people on the planet doing pretty much the same.

The Doctor:
Six billion people. Watching you two at work, I'm starting to wonder where they all come from.

Sophie:
Huh? What do you mean by that?

The Doctor:
So then, the call centre. That's no good, then. What do you really want to do?

Sophie:
Don't laugh. I only ever told Craig about it. I want to work looking after animals. Maybe abroad? I saw this orangutan sanctuary on telly.

The Doctor:
What's stopping you?

Craig:
She can't. You need loads of qualifications.

Sophie:
Yeah, true. Plus it's scary. Everyone I know lives round here. Like, Craig got offered a job in London. Better money. He didn't take it.

Craig:
What's wrong with staying here? I can't see the point of London.

The Doctor:
Well, perhaps that's you, then. Perhaps you'll just have to stay here, secure and a little bit miserable, till the day you drop. Better than trying and failing, eh?

Sophie:
You think I'd fail?

The Doctor:
Everybody's got dreams, Sophie. Very few are going to achieve them, so why pretend?

(The Doctor takes a sip of wine and spits it back out into the glass.)

The Doctor:
Perhaps, in the whole wide universe, a call centre about is where you should be.

Sophie:
Why are you saying that? That's horrible.

The Doctor:
Is it true?

Sophie:
Of course it's not true. I'm not staying in a call centre all my life. I can do anything I want.

(The Doctor smiles.)

Sophie:
Oh, yeah. Right. Oh, my God. Did you see what he just did?

Craig:
No, sorry, what's happening? Are you going to live with monkeys now?

The Doctor:
It's a big old world, Sophie. Work out what's really keeping you here, eh?

SOPHIE:
I don't know.

(Craig and Sophie look away from each other.)

[House]

(Sophie is leaving.)

Craig:
So, are you going to be taking off then? Seeing the world?

Sophie:
What, do you think I should?

Craig:
Yeah. Like the Doctor says, what's, what's keeping you here?

Sophie:
Yeah, exactly. What. Bye.

Craig:
See you.

(They hug.)

Craig:
See you in a bit.

Sophie:
Yeah.

[Doctor's Room]

(The Doctor has constructed a makeshift TARDIS console out of various objects. Includes bicycle wheels, a broom, rakes, etc.)

The Doctor:
Right. Shield's up. Let's scan.

(He sets it spinning.)

Amy [OC]:
What are you getting?

The Doctor:
Upstairs.

[Tardis]

The Doctor [OC]:
No traces of high technology. Totally-

[Doctor's room]

The Doctor:
Normal? No, no, no, no, no, it can't be. It's too normal.

[Tardis]

Amy:
Only for you could too normal be a problem. You said I could be lost forever. Just go upstairs.

[Doctor's room]

The Doctor:
Without knowing and get myself killed? Then you really are lost. If I could just get a look in there. Hold on. Use the data bank. Get me the plans of this building. I want to know its history, the layout, everything.

[Tardis]

The Doctor [OC:
]Meanwhile, I shall recruit a spy.

[Flat]

(Craig is cleaning up. He looks at the rot. He walks up to it.)

Craig:
Rotmeister

(He touches the stain as it glows slightly. It burns his hand.)

Craig:
Ow.

[Corridor]

(The next day. The Doctor is holding a breakfast tray and is carrying it to Craig's room.)

DOCTOR:
Craig? Craig? Breakfast. It's normal. Craig?

[Craig's room]

The Doctor:
Craig. Craig, Craig, Craig. I told you not to touch it. Look, what's that?

(There is a green vein up the inside of Craig's forearm.)

The Doctor:
It's an unfamiliar and obviously poisonous substance. Oh, I know what'd be really clever, I'll stick my hand in it. Come on, Craig, breathe.

(The Doctor hits Craig's chest. Craig gasps.)

The Doctor:
Come on, Craig, breathe. Them's are healthy footballer's lungs.

[Flat]

(The Doctor runs to the kitchen and grabs a teapot and tea bags and trash and stuffs it in the teapot.)

The Doctor:
Right, reverse the enzyme decay. Excite the tannin molecules.

[Craig's room]

(He pours the tea into Craig's mouth.)

Craig:
I've got to go to work.

The Doctor:
On no account. You need rest. One more.

Craig:
It's the planning meeting. It's important.

The Doctor:
You're important. You're going to be fine, Craig.

(The Doctor leaves him at 7.15. Craig reawakens at 14.45. He looks at the clock and realizes he's late.)

CRAIG:
What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Call Centre]

(Craig is running into work)

Michael:
Oh, afternoon.

Craig:
I'm so sorry, Michael. I don't know what happened. I've got no excuse.

The Doctor:
I think that's not what my screen is telling me, Mister Lang.

Craig:
What's he doing here? What are you doing here?

The Doctor:
If that's your attitude, Mister Lang, please take your business elsewhere.

(He blows raspberry into the phone.)

Craig:
No, no, no, that's one of my best clients.

The Doctor:
Hello, Craig. How are you feeling? Had some time to kill. I was curious. Never worked in an office. Never worked in anywhere.

Craig:
You're insane.

Michael:
Leave off the Doctor. I love the Doctor. He was brilliant in the planning meeting.

Craig:
You went to the planning meeting?

The Doctor:
Yes. I was your representative. We don't need Mister Lang any more. Rude Mister Lang.

Sophie:
Here you go, and I found some custard creams.

The Doctor:
Sophie, my hero.

Sophie:
Hi, Craig. I went on the web, applied for a wildlife charity thing. They said I could always start as a volunteer straight away. Should I do it?

Craig:
Yeah, great. Yeah, good. Go for it.

The Doctor:
You look awful. About turn. Bed. Now. Who next? Oh, yes. Hello, Mister Joergensen. Can you hold? I have to eat a biscuit.

[Doctor's Room]

(Craig has gotten curious and enters the room and sees the console.)

Craig:
What the hell.

[Stairs]

(Some time later. A cat that The Doctor recruited comes down the stairs to The Doctor.)

The Doctor:
Have you been upstairs? Yes?

[Aickman Road]

(The Tardis materialises in a small park across the road from groups of terraced houses.)

DOCTOR:
No, Amy, it's definitely not the fifth moon of Cindie Colesta. I think I can see a Ryman's.

(There is an explosion, throwing the Doctor to the ground, and the Tardis dematerialises.)

DOCTOR:
Amy! Amy!

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