Doctor Who The Lodger Page #9

Season #5 Episode #11

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Craig:
No, you don't. You have to leave.

The Doctor:
I can't go.

Craig:
Just get out!

The Doctor:
Right. Only way. I'm going to show you something, but shush. Really, shush. Oh, I am going to regret this. Okay, right. First, general background.

(The Doctor head butts Craig.)

Craig:
Argh.

(There is a very rapid montage of The Doctor's previous incarnations.)

Craig:
(Gasps.)

The Doctor:
Ow.

Craig:
You're a

The Doctor:
Yes.

Craig:
From

The Doctor:
Shush.

Craig:
You've got a Tardis.

The Doctor:
Yes. Shush. Eleventh. Right. Okay, specific detail.

(Another head butt.)

Both:
Argh.

The Doctor [memory]: Amy! Amy!

Craig:
You saw my ad in the paper shop window.

The Doctor:
Yes, with this right above it. Which is odd, because Amy hasn't written it yet.

(A note saying Doctor - this one # 79a Aickman Road Amy xx)

The Doctor:
Time travel. It can happen.

Craig:
That's a scanner. You used non-technological technology of Lammasteen!

The Doctor:
Shut up!

[House]

(Sophie enters. The little girl is at the top of the stairs.)

Little Girl:
Please can you help me?

Sophie:
Hi.

Girl:
Please, will you help me?

Sophie:
What's the matter, my love? Help you?

(Sophie goes up the stairs.)

[Doctor's room]

Craig:
Argh.

The Doctor:
I am never, never doing that ever, ever again.

(He activates his earpiece.)

The Doctor:
Amy.

Craig:
That's Amy Pond.

The Doctor:
Oh, of course, you can understand us now. Hurrah. Got those plans yet?

[Tardis]

Amy:
Still searching for them.

The Doctor [OC]:
I've worked it out, with psychic help from a cat.

Amy:
A cat?

[Doctor's room]

The Doctor:
Yes. I know he's got a time engine in the flat upstairs.

[Tardis]

The Doctor[OC]:
He's using innocent people to try and launch it.

[Doctor's room]

The Doctor:
Whenever he does, they get burnt up, hence the stain on your ceiling.

Craig:
From the ceiling.

The Doctor:
Well done, Craig.

[Tardis]

The Doctor [OC]:
And you, Miss Pond, nearly get thrown off into the Vortex.

Amy:
Lovely.

[Doctor's room]

(Crash!)

Craig:
People are dying up there. People are dying. People are dying. People are dying.

(He keeps repeating.)

The Doctor:
Amy.

Craig:
They're being killed.

The Doctor:
Someone's up there.

[House]

Amy [OC]:
Doctor?

The Doctor:
Hang on. Craig, come on. Someone's dying up there.

(They see Sophie's pink key ring in the door.)

Craig:
Sophie. It's Sophie that's dying up there! It's Sophie!

[Tardis]

Amy:
Doctor! Argh!

[Upstairs door]

Craig:
Where's Sophie?

The Doctor:
Wait, wait.

[Tardis]

The Doctor [OC]:
Amy?

Amy:
Are you upstairs?

[Upstairs door]

The Doctor:
Just going in.

Amy [OC]:
But you can't be upstairs.

The Doctor:
Of course I can be upstairs.

[Tardis]

Amy:
No, I've got the plans. You cannot be upstairs, it's a one-story building.

[Upstairs door]

Amy [OC]:
There is no upstairs.

[Timeship]

Craig:
What? What?

The Doctor:
Oh. Oh, of course. The time engine isn't in the flat, the time engine is the flat. Someone's attempt to build a Tardis.

Craig:
No, there's always been an upstairs.

(The door they have just come through flickers on and off.)

The Doctor:
Has there? Think about it.

Craig:
Yes. No. I don't

The Doctor:
Perception filter. It's more than a disguise. It tricks your memory.

(Scream.)

Craig:
Sophie! Sophie! Oh, my God, Sophie!

(Sophie is being pulled towards the central console by electricity.)

Sophie:
Craig.

The Doctor:
It's controlling her. It's willing her to touch the activator.

Craig:
That's not going to have her.

(Sophie's hand is pulled onto a dome shaped control. The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver.)

The Doctor:
Ah, deadlock seal.

Craig:
You've got to do something.

(Sophie falls back.)

The Doctor:
What? Why's it let her go? So, okay.

(A man suddenly appears.)

AUTOPILOT:
You will help me.

The Doctor:
Right. Stop. Crashed ship, let's see. Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue. Please state the nature of your emergency.

Autopilot:
The ship has crashed. The crew are dead. A pilot is required.

The Doctor:
You're the emergency crash program. A hologram. What, you've been luring people up here so you can try them out?

(The hologram flickers between old man, young man and girl.)

Autopilot:
You will help me. You will help me. You will help me.

Sophie:
Craig, what is this? Where am I?

The Doctor:
Hush. Human brains aren't strong enough, they just burn. But you're stupid, though. You just keep trying.

Autopilot:
Seventeen people have been tried. Six billion four hundred thousand and twenty six remain.

Sophie:
Seriously, what is going on?

The Doctor:
Oh, for goodness sake. The top floor of Craig's building is in reality an alien space ship intent on slaughtering the population of this planet. Any questions? No, good.

Sophie:
Yes, I have questions.

Autopilot:
The correct pilot has now been found.

The Doctor:
Yes, I was a bit worried that you were going to say that.

[Tardis]

Amy:
He means you, Doctor, doesn't he?

[Timeship]

(The Doctor is being pulled towards the console.)

Autopilot:
The correct pilot has been found. The correct pilot has been found. The correct pilot has been found.

[Tardis]

Amy:
What's happening?

[Timeship]

The Doctor:
It's pulling me in. I'm the new pilot.

Amy [OC]:
Could you do it?

[Tardis]

Amy:
Could you fly the ship safely?

[Timeship]

The Doctor:
No, I'm way too much for this ship. My hand touches that panel, the planet doesn't blow up, the whole solar system does.

Autopilot:
The correct pilot has been found.

The Doctor:
No. Worst choice ever, I promise you. Stop this.

Amy [OC]:
Doctor?

[TARDIS]

Amy:
It's getting worse!

[Timeship]

The Doctor:
It doesn't want everyone. Craig, it didn't want you.

Craig:
I spoke to him and he said I couldn't help him.

The Doctor:
It didn't want Sophie before but now it does. What's changed? Argh. No. No, I gave her the idea of leaving. It's a machine that needs to leave. It wants people who want to escape. And you don't want to leave, Craig. You're Mister Sofa Man.

[Tardis]

Amy:
Doctor!

[Timeship]

The Doctor:
Craig, you can shut down the engine. Put your hand on the panel and concentrate on why you want to stay.

Sophie:
Craig, no.

Craig:
Will it work?

The Doctor:
Yes.

Craig Are you sure?

The Doctor:
Yes.

Craig:
Is that a lie?

The Doctor:
Of course it's a lie.

Craig:
It's good enough for me. Geronimo! Argh!

(Craig puts his hand on the nearest control panel. The Doctor is released.)

Sophie:
Craig!

[Tardis]

Amy:
Doctor!

[Timeship]

(Smoke is coming off Craig's hand.)

The Doctor:
Craig, what's keeping you here? Think about everything that makes you want to stay here. Why don't you want to leave?

Craig:
Sophie. I don't want to leave Sophie. I can't leave Sophie. I love Sophie.

Sophie:
I love you, too, Craig, you idiot.

(Sophie puts her hand on Craig's.)

[Tardis]

Amy:
Doctor!

[Timeship]

Craig:
Honestly, do you mean that?

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