Doctor who the unquiet dead Page #2

Season #1 Episode #3

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[Outside the theatre]

(The Doctor and Rose hear the screams.)

DOCTOR:
That's more like it!

[Theatre]

(A blue gas entity is coming from the corpse and flying around the auditorium. The audience flees.)

DICKENS:
Stay in your seats, I beg you. It is a lantern show. It's trickery.

SNEED:
Excuse me.

GWYNETH:
There she is, sir!

SNEED:
I can see that. The whole blooming world can see that!

(The police is arriving outside, blowing his whistle.)

DOCTOR:
Fantastic.

(The corpse collapses.)

DOCTOR:
Did you see where it came from?

DICKENS:
Ah, the wag reveals himself, does he? I trust you're satisfied, sir!

(Sneed and Gwyneth pick up the corpse.)

ROSE:
Oi! Leave her alone! Doctor, I'll get them.

DOCTOR:
Be careful! Did it say anything? Can it speak? I'm the Doctor, by the way.

DICKENS:
Doctor? You look more like a navvie.

DOCTOR:
What's wrong with this jumper?

[Outside the theatre]

ROSE:
What're you doing?!

GWYNETH:
Oh, it's a tragedy, miss. Don't worry yourself. Me and the master will deal with it. The fact is, this poor lady's been taken with the brain fever and we have to get her to the infirmary.

ROSE:
She's cold. She's dead! Oh, my God, what'd you do to her?

(Sneed sneaks up behind Rose and puts a pad of cloth over her mouth. She struggles briefly then passes out.)

GWYNETH:
What did you do that for?

SNEED:
She's seen too much. Get her in the hearse. Legs.

[Theatre]

(The blue entity flies into a gas light.)

DOCTOR:
Gas! It's made of gas.

[Outside the theatre]

DOCTOR:
Rose!

DICKENS:
You're not escaping me, sir. What do you know about that hobgoblin, hmm? Projection on glass, I suppose. Who put you up to it?

DOCTOR:
Yeah, mate. Not now, thanks. Oi, you! Follow that hearse!

(The Doctor gets into a nearby carriage.)

DRIVER:
I can't do that, sir.

DOCTOR:
Why not?

DICKENS:
I'll tell you why not. I'll give you a very good reason why not. Because this is my coach.

DOCTOR:
Well, get in, then. Move!

[Coach]

(The driver cracks the whip and the carriage moves down the street.)

DOCTOR:
Come on, you're losing them.

DRIVER:
Everything in order, Mister Dickens?

DICKENS:
No! It is not!

DOCTOR:
What did he say?

DICKENS:
Let me say this first. I'm not without a sense of humour.

DOCTOR:
Dickens?

DICKENS:
Yes.

DOCTOR:
Charles Dickens?

DICKENS:
Yes.

DOCTOR:
The Charles Dickens?

DRIVER:
Should I remove the gentleman, sir?

DOCTOR:
Charles Dickens? You're brilliant, you are. Completely one hundred percent brilliant. I've read them all. Great Expectations, Oliver Twist and what's the other one, the one with the ghost?

DICKENS:
A Christmas Carol?

DOCTOR:
No, no, no, the one with the trains. The Signal Man, that's it. Terrifying! The best short story ever written. You're a genius.

DRIVER:
You want me to get rid of him, sir?

DICKENS:
Er, no, I think he can stay.

DOCTOR:
Honestly, Charles. Can I call you Charles? I'm such a big fan.

DICKENS:
A what? A big what?

DOCTOR:
Fan. Number one fan, that's me.

DICKENS:
How exactly are you a fan? In what way do you resemble a means of keeping oneself cool?

DOCTOR:
No, it means fanatic, devoted to. Mind you, I've got to say, that American bit in Martin Chuzzlewit, what's that about? Was that just padding or what? I mean, it's rubbish, that bit.

DICKENS:
I thought you said you were my fan.

DOCTOR:
Ah, well, if you can't take criticism. Go on, do the death of Little Nell, it cracks me up. No, sorry, forget about that. Come on, faster!

DICKENS:
Who exactly is in that hearse?

DOCTOR:
My friend. She's only nineteen. It's my fault. She's in my care, and now she's in danger.

DICKENS:
Why are we wasting my time talking about dry old books? This is much more important. Driver, be swift! The chase is on!

DRIVER:
Yes, sir!

DOCTOR:
Attaboy, Charlie.

DICKENS:
Nobody calls me Charlie.

DOCTOR:
The ladies do.

DICKENS:
How do you know that?

DOCTOR:
I told you, I'm your number one

DICKENS:
Number one fan.

[Chapel of Rest]

GWYNETH:
The poor girl's still alive, sir! What're we going to do with her?

SNEED:
I don't know! I didn't plan any of this, did I. It isn't my fault if the dead won't stay dead.

GWYNETH:
Then whose fault is it, sir? Why is this happening to us?

(Gwyneth and Sneed leave. The gas lamp flares and there are whispered voices.)

[Hallway]

SNEED:
I did the Bishop a favour, once. Made his nephew look like a cherub even though he'd been a fortnight in the weir. Perhaps he'll do us an exorcism on the cheap.

(Someone knocks on the door.)

SNEED:
Say I'm not in. Tell them we're closed. Just, just get rid of them.

[Front door]

(Sneed goes back down the corridor. Rose wakes up as blue gas from the lamp animates young Mister Redpath, who had been placed in a coffin.

Gwyneth opens the front door to Charles Dickens and the Doctor.)

GWYNETH:
I'm sorry, sir. We're closed.

DICKENS:
Nonsense. Since when did an Undertaker keep office hours? The dead don't die on schedule. I demand to see your master.

GWYNETH:
He's not in, sir.

DICKENS:
Don't lie to me, child. Summon him at once.

GWYNETH:
I'm awfully sorry, Mister Dickens, but the master's indisposed.

(A gas lamp flares.)

DOCTOR:
Having trouble with your gas?

DICKENS:
What the Shakespeare is going on?

[Chapel of Rest]

(Rose sees her companion.)

ROSE:
Are you all right? You're kidding me, yeah? You're just kidding. You are kidding me, aren't you?

(Redpath climbs out of the coffin and walks zombie-like towards her.)

ROSE:
Okay, not kidding.

(Rose runs for the door.)

[Front door]

(The Doctor goes past Gwyneth to the flaring gas lamp.)

GWYNETH:
You're not allowed inside, sir.

DOCTOR:
There's something inside the walls.

(Mrs Redpath reanimates in her coffin.)

DOCTOR:
The gas pipes. Something's living inside the gas.

[Chapel of Rest]

ROSE:
Let me out!

[Front door]

ROSE [OC]:
Open the door!

DOCTOR:
That's her.

ROSE [OC]:
Please, please, let me out!

[Hallway]

(The Doctor runs down the corridor and into Sneed.)

SNEED:
How dare you, sir. (to Dickens.) This is my house!

DICKENS:
Shut up.

SNEED:
(to Gwyneth)I told you.

[Chapel of Rest]

ROSE:
Let me out! Somebody open the door! Open the door!

(Redpath grabs Rose. The Doctor kicks the door in.)

DOCTOR:
I think this is my dance.

(The Doctor pulls Rose away from Redpath.)

DICKENS:
It's a prank. It must be. We're under some mesmeric influence.

DOCTOR:
No, we're not. The dead are walking. Hi.

ROSE:
Hi. Who's your friend?

DOCTOR:
Charles Dickens.

ROSE:
Okay.

DOCTOR:
My name's the Doctor. Who are you, then? What do you want?

(Redpath replies with several voices.)

REDPATH:
Failing. Open the rift. We're dying. Trapped in this form. Cannot sustain. Help us. Argh!

(The gas leaves Redpath and his mother and returns to the gas lamp. The corpses collapse.)

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