Donald Cried Page #8

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It really does mean a lot to me.

Uh, and especially, Jane,

who wanted so badly

to be here tonight.

So, yeah, we, uh...

We thank you from the bottom

of our hearts, so thank you.

I'm so sorry about that.

That was really weird.

I know it was. I know.

- It was really weird.

- I know.

- He's f***ed up.

- Dear god.

Hey, listen, can we just go?

No, I don't want

to talk to you, please. Okay.

Please. Hey...

- Hey, can you just look at me?

- I'm not... I'm not...

I'm embarrassed enough, I don't want to

be involved in that kind of weirdness.

Pete, hey.

I just want to talk to you for a

second, I'm sorry about that.

I didn't want to

interrupt you guys.

I didn't want to interrupt

you hooking up with him,

- I really didn't.

- Guys.

- Wait.

- Guys.

We're fine, buddy. We're fine.

Take it easy.

Please, Pete,

just talk to me for a second.

I didn't want to

f*** that up for you.

I swear to god, I didn't.

Please just talk

to me for a second.

Can you look at me, please?

Can you please look

at me for a second?

Pete, I want you to f***ing

look at me for a second.

I want you to

f***ing respect me!

Hey, guys, whoa,

whoa, whoa whoa!

Get the f*** off me!

Dude, what the f***? This is

my wife's cancer benefit.

I don't give a f***!

Look who it is.

Hi, Mrs. Treebeck.

Peter!

Oh...

Look at... oh!

- I got to get you some ice.

- It's okay, I'm good.

Look at you.

What happened to

my little boys, huh?

You want eggs?

Sure.

Oh, hey, I'm sorry to hear

about your grandmother.

Oh, thanks, I appreciate that.

Yeah, she was,

she was a awesome lady.

That she was.

The homos are up.

How many fingers do I got?

Karen, what are you doing?

You eating or what?

Yeah, no, no, I had something

earlier, I'm good?

Grab me a drink.

I'll get it.

What do you want?

Coffee.

You don't want juice?

No, coffee.

How's your face?

Fine.

If I was you...

I'd be shitting

my pants right now.

Donald could have had

gay sex with you last night.

Stop it.

I just hope if he did,

it was safe sex. I don't want

f***ing aids in this house.

Oh, don't be gross.

Donald and Peter were

best friends growing up.

No sh*t.

You had friends growing up?

I'm sorry to hear that.

I said, I'm sorry to hear that!

Baby, he knows

what I'm talking about.

But he's not saying nothing,

like Bambi with the headlights.

Welcome to my world.

Give me the b12.

On the Weetabix, you know, the

stuff that gives me the anxiety.

I gotta do lats later, I want

to f***ing get a full set.

Could you, like, put your arms

around each other now?

Yeah! Okay.

All right. Okay, smile...

Good. Wait, Donald, smile...

Oh, yeah! That's nice.

That's nice.

Did you take it?

I don't think you took it.

It didn't...

All right, let me see it

for a second.

Can we just get this over with?

All right, here you go,

you got to hold it down.

Now, let's get this.

Okay, smile.

Jesus Christ, mom.

We'll get the f***ing

picture later. Let's go.

Where's your dad?

He passed away.

When?

Right after high school.

Jesus.

I'm sorry, man. What...

What happened to him?

Uh, cancer.

And that guy

is your mother's boyfriend now?

Yeah... no, husband.

Yeah. I know you don't

like him, but...

He's fine, man.

He treats my mom good, so...

That's all that matters to me.

I'm sorry, Donald.

- No, that's fine, man. I mean...

- Your dad was awesome.

Awesome.

I know, but now he's up there

f***ing kicking it

with f***ing Nona.

He's kicking it with your folks.

Man...

I wanna say it too, like,

I'm really f***ing sorry

about last night.

Don't worry about it, we're even.

That was a ridiculous night.

I mean, I was

completely intoxicated.

I was too.

My body was so

saturated with alcohol

that I think my brain completely

shut down at one point.

That sounds about right.

And just...

I was on cruise control.

When I walked in you were really

grinding on her pretty good.

Yeah, it was going well. It was

going really well actually.

Yeah, and I was just like,

so disappointed at myself.

I was like, "why would you go and

f***ing cock block your bro like that?"

I don't want... I don't want to be

known as somebody who cock blocks.

Yeah, kind of exactly

what it was.

It went from a hard dick to

getting knocked out cold, so...

That too is something else

I'm disappointed in, I mean,

you were in absolute beast mode.

You f***ing knocked me down,

I was out of position,

I wanted to take

that blow for you.

I wanted to absorb that shot,

but I just couldn't get there.

And that guy, he f***ing had

nice f***ing swing.

- He really did.

- I mean, it was nice, yeah.

He connected,

right with the kill shot,

right in the sweet spot, yeah.

And, I mean, you went down

like that.

I thought you died.

It seemed like a nice event

though from what I gathered.

Just remembered I have

something for you.

I was able to, uh...

Just...

Save a little bit of this.

- Oh.

- Nona.

All right. So... thank you.

You know, if you want

put it back in the bag.

Yeah, maybe I will.

All right.

- Guess I'll just...

- Yeah.

- This is it. -This is it,

man, it's been good.

It was great to

see you, you know.

Yeah, it was great

to see you too, don.

And just know, like, if you're

ever back around, you know...

I don't know when I'll be back

up here, but I'll obviously...

- You know?

- Yeah.

And if you ever

come to the city...

- Nah.

- All right, I know,

- I want you...

- No way.

You know that.

Let me get your number.

- You want my number?

- Yeah.

Um...

- Really?

- Yeah.

All right, it's, uh...

4-0-1...

2-1-5-5-6-1-8.

I don't like talking much if...

Do you know how to text?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, so...

I'm not a big phone guy.

Hello?

It's me.

This is my number, so...

Oh, oh, all right. Cool.

All right.

Well...

All right.

- All right.

- This is just...

This is not going like I hoped.

I really miss you.

I really hope we'll get a

chance to see each other again.

I think we will, man.

- See you, Donald. -You want

me to help you with that?

No, no, I'm good. I got it.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

All right, I'll see you, buddy.

All right, be good.

Pete.

I'll see ya.

I knew it from the start

you would break my heart

but you still I had to play

this painful part

you wrapped me 'round

your itty-bitty finger

with your magic smile you kept me

hangin' on a lovers cross a while

you put your spell on me

took my breath away

but there was nothin'

I could do to make you stay

I'm gonna miss you

all the love I feel for you

nothing could make me change

my point of view oh, girl

I'm gonna miss you, baby

giving all the love

I feel for you

couldn't make you change

your point of view

you're leavin'

now I'm sittin' here

wastin' my time

I just don't know

what I should do

it's a tragedy for me

to see the dream is over

and I never will forget the day

we met girl, I'm gonna miss you

like a honey bee

you took the best of me

now I can't erase

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