Dorian Blues Page #8

Who else?

It took me 22

years to find you.

I think what Ben's

trying to say is...

- Andrew, please, I'm upset.

- So am I.

You're upset, what do you

got to be upset about?

You won.

You won the prize.

An intellectually uncurious

prize but a prize just the same.

You know, maybe right there is one

of the reason's why he left you...

...you always have a dig.

- Andrew.

- It's true, Elle.

Is that the truth?

Well people do

annoy you, Dor.

They don't bother me.

You know, I'm low key,

you're kind of high strung.

You have to admit,

Dorian, that...

No, no, no, no.

I don't have to admit a damn

thing... Not to you, Andrew.

Did you two really

come down here to say;

"Sorry you're alone

but here's some tips...

...on changing your personality

so you don't have to be"?

Actually the tips

were Ben's idea.

I just wanted to tell

you why you're alone.

I think we're done here.

Ben, please don't go.

Ahhh!

You guys, stop it.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- You alright?

- I'm fine.

- What happened?

Nothing, it's over.

## Circle, circle, here I go

back in this place again. ##

## So will you see me fallin' down

or will you just pretend? ##

- What are you so quiet about?

- Nothing, I'm just tired.

Hey, I thought you were going

to take me to a nice place tonight.

It is a nice place.

What, you didn't think so?

No, it's just that usually nice

places don't have bar fights.

Did you have a good

time tonight, N ick?

Yeah I sure did, and

seeing Buff was a piss.

Seeing Buff was a piss.

Yeah.

Hey I've got a

question for you.

Let me ask you this.

Did you have any idea that this Buff

guy was, you know, that way.

No, not at all I mean there

was not a clue at quarterback camp.

I'll tell you that.

And you didn't tell

him you weren't?

No, never came up.

- Hmm.

- Huh?

Nothing its just, why

didn't it come up?

Just didn't.

I know, but why didn't you

make a point of bringing it up?

Oh, well, I guess I kinda just

steered clear of the whole subject.

- Huh that's curious.

- Why is that curious?

I don't know, I just find it

curious that you would...

...go a whole night without

dropping a girfriend's name or...

...you know, finding some way

to disclose your preference.

I don't think in terms of

disclosing my preference.

Well, when you're not gay in

a gay bar you should because...

...this Buffer guy was

definitely flirting with you.

- He was not.

- Oh, yes he was.

Bull sh*t.

What do you think that laughing

and leaning into you was...

...all the hands

on your sholder.

That's just how football

players are with each other.

Well, that's another

whole discussion...

...but I'm not

getting into that.

Besides, even if he

was, who cares, I mean...

...if the guy was flirting with

me and I didn't notice...

...then who gives a sh*t?

OK, don't get so defensive.

What's the matter N icky, did

you feel something for the guy?

What did you just ask me?

If you felt something and

that's why you didn't...

...drop girls names and come off.

I had a few beers

with the guy.

What the hell are

you talking about?

I'm just asking.

Really, you really think

you need to ask me that?

Apparently I don't.

What, you trying to

turn me gay, Dor.

Is that why me

took me to... Huh?

Because you're the

family f*ggot, not me.

You're getting really warped,

a**hole, really warped.

He was insulted,

and I was glad.

I wanted to insult him,

anything to punch some holes...

...in his perfect life.

But he's impervious to

real pain, or so I thought.

He returned an hour later,

and sometime in the night...

I awoke to a sound I hadn't

heard since I was ten years old...

...the sound of

my brother, crying.

N icky?

N icky, what is it?

N icky, what's wrong.

Oh my God, did

you like that guy?

What?

I was only half

serious, but, man...

I did not like

that guy, Dorian.

Jesus Christ, there's a lot

more in life to cry about...

...than being gay.

I'm not crying about...

It's something

completely different.

All right, fine, what is it?

- It's none of your business.

- What do you mean it's...

I mean, it's none

of your business.

Why is it none of my...

- It just isn't.

- Come on, we're brothers.

Oh, yeah, we're brothers when

you wanna know something.

Look, I just had a

really rough week...

...and it's backing up

on me, all right?

My God, what's happened

this is not like you...

...things don't back up on you.

I don't want to

talk about it.

Don't tell me you don't

want to talk about it.

- Just leave it alone will you?

- I will not leave it alone.

Christ, you're

worse than a woman.

Hey, N icky, I wake up and

find you more upset...

...than I've ever seen you in my life

and you expect me to blow it off.

I lost my scholarship.

All right?

What?

They took my scholarship.

Your football scholarship?

No, my Rhodes scholarship,

how many scholarships do I have?

What happened?

They cut me.

Wednesday.

It's all over, Dor.

I didn't make it.

- I didn't have it.

- My God.

What do you do now?

What every other schmuck

does, pay tuition.

Did you tell Mom and Dad yet?

- Mm-hmm.

- You did, when?

- Wednesday.

- What did they say?

I told Mom first.

She said now you can

concentrate on becoming a lawyer.

Then Dad grabs the phone and

says "What's going on, N ick?"

And I tell him and he says

"Well that's that, then. "

And he hands the

phone back to mom.

Oh, man, what a prick.

Well it was a huge

disappointment for him, Dorian.

For him?

For him?

It meant a lot to him.

Then why didn't he

become a football player?

Oh, because he wasn't good

enough, there's a real twist.

Can he vent?

No, God, he should be consoling

you and you defend him.

You know, something,

you're too hard on people.

You know, Mom said he was up

all night after I told him...

...sick as a dog.

I'm sure he was, because

he's got his ego...

...all wrapped up in yours.

- Man, it's demented.

- Man, I shouldn't have told you.

News flash, Dad is f***ed up.

So are you, and I give

you breaks all the time.

Oh, you give me breaks?

What?

- Hey guys.

- We're being loud, I know.

No, no, no, it's just Dor, you

got a call on the hall phone.

- It must be Ellie.

- No, it's an Aunt Beth.

And that's exactly

how it happened.

We were just

talking about him.

His name was literally still

in the air when we found out...

...he'd a heart

attack and was gone.

And to be honest, I didn't

know exactly what to feel...

...but poor Nicky, he knew.

## In a perfect world, I would

have told you what I was thinking. ##

## You would have smiled. ##

## You would have smiled. ##

## In a perfect world, we would have

walked out of this place together, ##

## and said goodbye, ##

## said good luck. ##

## I want to scream,

but I just whisper. ##

## In a perfect world, the ones

you love should ease your burden... ##

## and make you soar, ##

## make you sure,

in a perfect world. ##

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