Double Dynamite Page #3

Stick with it. You bring me luck.

You got the golden touch.

I'll touch a dozen eggs for you tomorrow,

but I don't wanna bet any more now.

Yeah. We're shooting the roll

on Marcy Ford's Beetle.

- No.

- Take the line price.

- No, no.

- Yeah, this is it.

Seventy thousand for me

and 30,000 for my friend.

No, don't listen to him, no.

When I get through with Sloane,

I'll put a jockey on his back and ride him.

- No, no.

Sit down, kid.

If this comes in, you're loaded.

If it doesn't, I'll go out and get loaded.

- Relax.

They're off.

Fair Dealing is going to the front.

Sudden Riches is second.

Magilla moving up to third. Now

Sudden Riches moving up to the outside.

It's a boat race. Your horse is in.

At the half, it's Sudden Riches

taking the lead and drawing clear.

- Come on, Sudden Riches.

- You didn't bet on Sudden Riches.

- I didn't bet on?

- Into the far turn, there goes Magilla.

He's neck and neck with Sudden Riches.

Now it's Magilla in the lead.

- Come on, Magilla, come on.

- Not that plug.

And coming fast is Johnny-Come-Lately.

Finds racing room

on the inside and gets through.

Come on, J... Am I getting any warmer?

Then which horse am I betting on?

It's a driving finish.

Four noses on the wire, and it's Soris.

Soris wins it by a nose.

Soris.

What a horse.

Thirty-eight, 39, 40,000.

It's all the cash I have on hand, kid.

Drop by tomorrow for the other 20.

You mean I won?

This is all true? It's really happening?

Did you hear what he said?

It's happening.

We're gonna get married now.

Don't you understand?

Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you, mister.

I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you.

Wow! Now we can get a place of our own.

We'll have cows and horses...

...and chickens and quadruplets.

Wait till I tell Mibs.

Just wait till I tell Mibs.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

You're wonderful.

There really is a Santa Claus.

Hey, Emil. Emil.

Oh, I beg your pardon. Emil.

- Look.

- Johnny, you've robbed the bank.

Congratulations. I'll hide you in the kitchen.

As soon as it gets dark, head for the border.

Listen to me.

The first thing you gotta do

is blow town until this cools off.

If the bank issues a warrant,

I'll send it to the Automobile Club.

- They take care of everything.

- I didn't steal.

You got a rich uncle with

one foot in the grave and you tripped him.

I have no uncle. Stop being silly.

I wanna get you a coat.

You're gonna be my best man.

- Mibs and I are gonna get married.

- Where you holding the ceremony, Alcatraz?

All this money. I won it on the horses.

That's foolish, Johnny.

You don't bet on horses.

I don't, but I did.

I don't have to anymore.

You've been drinking.

Nobody in their right mind bets on horses.

- You bet.

- Never my own money.

- Only what I can borrow.

- I borrowed some.

It was loaned to me. A thousand dollars.

- Listen, Emil. Heavenly Queen.

- Six-to-one.

- Misery.

- Five-to-one.

- And Soris.

- Even money.

- Forty thousand and 20 more to come.

- How nice that would look...

...sewed in the lining of my coat.

I'm gonna give it to Mibs

for a Christmas present.

When she sees it,

she'll have a lump in her throat.

Maybe, but she'll certainly

have a lump in her stocking.

No more window shopping.

She can have anything.

Now you're talking. Live dangerously.

You've got it, spend it.

- Spend it all.

- All?

- It's only money.

- Emil, you didn't finish the floor.

I'm taking the day off, Mr. Baganucci.

If you have any objections,

call up the Waiters' Union and ask for Otto.

Good afternoon.

It's only money

It's only gold

But you can't get enough

Of the wonderful stuff

That you jingle or fold

It's only money

It fluctuates

But there's this thing about it

The poor schnook without it

The girls don't give dates

I love the artwork

The treasury sure does smart work

The nicest people we know

Are the people

Who get their faces on dough

It's only money

It's only dough

- And the people who crave it

- Who worship and save it

All come to know

You can't take it with you

When you go

And our bonding company

has relentless operatives.

They never give up.

It may take a year, 10 years, 20 or 30.

And sometimes the malefactor

waits a whole lifetime...

...and dies without ever having used

a single penny.

Keep the motor running.

McKISSACK:
As many embezzlers have

found out, it is impossible to outwait justice.

If you think you can outwait them,

lay low until things cool off...

- Mibs.

... get that foolish thought out of your mind.

- We're gonna get married and quit our job.

- Mr. McKissack.

To heck with McKissack.

We're buying a ranch with quadruplets.

So we have to get married first.

John Dalton, you've been drinking.

And of all the times.

I bought you flowers and diamonds

and a mink coat.

And the top goes up and down.

Oh, to do such a thing. And you pick a day

when the bank has been robbed.

Well, I picked a day... Huh?

McKISSACK:

- Lead us to the culprit.

And let me make one more thing

absolutely clear to this embezzler...

...whoever he may be.

You will never have an opportunity

to enjoy your ill-gained fortune.

You will never have a chance

to spend one dime of our $ 75,000.

That is why I say confess. Confess now.

Or face the possibility

of spending half your lifetime...

...behind the bars

of a federal penitentiary.

Quiet, quiet.

There's a shortage in the bank.

How much did you get this time?

Where's Mildred, tying up McKissack?

What courage. And I was telling you

to live dangerously. Oh, brother.

The man with the sunglasses.

He'll tell you how I got the money.

- And he'll tell Mibs, too, and McKissack.

- Johnny, listen to me.

The car's got a full tank.

You're facing south.

Step on the starter

and head for the border.

Oh, please, Emil,

you know very well I'm no bank robber.

All right. Hope you know

what you're talking about.

First horse room I've ever seen...

...where you could lose your shirt

and have it mended at the same time.

- You can't get in there just like that.

- No?

Uh-uh.

- What's that for?

- Signal.

Try the Morse code.

Let's use my system.

Yes? All our salesmen are out.

If you can tell me which shirt

you're looking for...

What happened here? Where are the horses?

I mean, the telephones.

What are these women doing here

without men?

- I beg your pardon.

- Wrong shirt shop.

- Look at her. No sunglasses.

- No, no. This is the place. I remember.

They had phones, and there was all kinds

of betting going on all over the country.

And that guy still owes me $20,000.

Where's the man with the sunglasses?

Why, you're not wearing sunglasses.

And you're not even a man.

I'm glad you can tell the difference.

Emil, you know what they've done here?

They've changed the whole place around.

Honest, they did. Just three hours ago,

this was a horse room...

...and these ladies were men.

It's witchcraft. Please excuse him.

He just got in from the Pacific.

Hasn't seen a woman in years.

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