Dr. Giggles Page #2

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Stu.

Stu.

- Aah!

- Trotter, what's wrong? What's wrong?

What happened? Let me see.

That is not funny, you a**hole.

That's not funny.

Get me out of here.

I was just joking.

You're so full of sh*t.

Trotter. Trotter get up.

I'm not really seeing patients yet...

...but I guess I can make an exception.

Hello?

Anyone in here?

Is anybody in there?

Well, I'm gonna call the police.

Hmm.

I know.

Way to chug, babe.

I remember riding the Ferris wheel

when I was a little kid.

We'd stop at the top

and I could see all the big kids...

...parked on the hill where we are now.

I wanted to be with the big kids so bad.

Yeah, well,

now you are with the big kids.

You know, Max,

I'm really not that thirsty.

Hey, what's thirst got to do with it?

I just don't wanna drink right now, okay?

Come on, why do we have to get drunk

to have fun?

We don't have to get drunk,

but it's a damn good start.

Well, not for me.

Hey.

Trouble in paradise?

Sh*t.

Hey, the party's moving to the bash.

It's every man for himself.

Most of you are probably

too wet behind the ears...

...to remember this old chartbuster.

Judy Holliday made it famous

way back in 1960...

...when I would have been

just old enough to join you.

And it's called...

..."The Party's Over".

That's right, the party's over.

Good night, officer. A**hole.

Now, Officer Magruder is gonna wind up.

Anyone still on the premises...

...will be partying in beautiful,

recently repainted Moorehigh lockup.

Whoo-hoo!

You mind if I turn this noise off now?

You live for that sh*t.

Ooh. Magruder's raid on Breeder's Hill...

...that's a Moorehigh tradition, son.

You got any other traditions

I should know about?

Unit 3, possible 3- 11

at 5714 Tivoli Court.

Please respond, code two.

You're asking about

Moorehigh traditions?

Ten-to-one Elaine Henderson

called that in.

That crazy broad sees rapists

in her hemorrhoid cream.

Erica, when are you gonna figure out

how to use the doggy door?

Come on, come on.

And stop barking.

You're gonna lose your voice again.

Get in bed, Erica.

The cops never come

when you want them.

Operator, I need a doctor.

It's a good thing I make house calls.

These things happen

when you neglect your regular checkups.

Now...

...open wide and say, "Ah. "

Uh. Uh. Uh.

No, "Ah. "

Ah!

Mm-hm.

Let's have a look at that nose.

A good physician...

...always has the right instrument

for the job.

Now, now. This won't hurt a bit.

Hmm. I think I found the problem.

So this is her.

Some of the guys back at the station

warned me about this place.

Yeah? What did they say?

They didn't get into much detail.

Surprise is the kind of detail

most people around here rather forget.

Well, I've always had a way of figuring

things out by what people don't say.

I think that's called...

...reading between the lines.

- Mm-hm.

So this guy was a doctor?

Yeah, Evan Rendell.

He was the town doctor.

He offed seven of his patients.

Cut out their hearts

while they were still alive.

Sh*t. What would make a guy

crack like that?

His wife took sick. Heart problems.

He was trying to save her.

Somewhere along the line

old doc just suddenly threw a piston.

The sicker she got, the crazier he got.

One day, folks just started disappearing.

Seems he was trying to find his wife

a new ticker.

Well, who knows,

if they hadn't killed him...

...maybe he'd have pulled off

the world's first heart transplant.

Ahead of his time, but out of his mind.

It's ugly business clearing all that up.

Reitz.

It's nothing.

Didn't he have a son?

Wasn't his kid involved

in helping the father out or something?

That's what they say.

There was this big mystery.

How did the kid get out of the house?

That's what they say.

What do you say?

I don't say.

Mm-mm. I'm not going up that staircase,

not until I drop another 30 pounds...

...and that ain't gonna be for a long time.

Do you smell that?

What?

Smells like rubbing alcohol.

No, I don't smell nothing.

Come on, I gotta make a pit stop.

Hey. Hey, come on, let's go.

How serious is it?

Well, the doctor says

it isn't very serious at all.

But depending on what

this piece of junk says...

...they might have to

operate to fix the valve.

Operate?

Yeah.

They're telling me

it's a routine operation.

Why didn't you tell me about this before?

I didn't want you to feel sorry for me.

Sh*t, Jen, you know, I'm your boyfriend.

We're supposed to face things like this

together. Remember, you and me?

I love you.

There's something else.

It's about my mom.

I never told you the way she died.

She went into the hospital

for a routine operation.

I never saw her again.

Jen, I'm sorry.

I had nightmares for the longest time...

...and after a while, they went away.

But now they're back.

Okay, folks, exit to the right.

Watch your step.

Listen to me, some hero, huh?

My mom died and all I talk about

is stupid nightmares.

I don't give a sh*t about anyone

but myself.

That's not true.

My dad's trying to get on with his life

and all I do is b*tch and moan.

I'm sorry, Max. I gotta be alone tonight.

Oh, yeah. Don't stop.

Oh, baby. You are king. You are king.

Sorry, guys. Guess I'm destined

to screw up everyone's night.

Hey, wait up.

Swiped it from my mom's suitcase

before she and Dad left for vacation.

You expect me to wear this?

Look, right now, my mom's probably

pretty pissed off, not to mention my dad.

Don't let their pain be in vain.

Okay.

But if I'm dressing up...

:::so are you:

- Where did you get this?

- They pass them out in gym class.

I must have skipped.

Guess I'll go and powder up.

Sh*t.

Ready.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Could it possibly be any colder in here?

Sixty-five?

These people are Eskimos.

Shh-shh-shh.

You'll catch your death of cold

running around like this.

I think we should take your temperature.

Now, don't make a sound.

There's a good girl.

Tongue up.

Lucky for you, I've discovered

the only known cure for the common cold.

Leave it in for at least a minute.

Maybe she won't notice.

Ready or not, here I come.

You know...

...ever since I found

my mom's Victoria's Secrets catalogue...

...I have been dying for this.

I hope you have protection.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Terminal.

- Oh, Jennifer's home.

- No.

No, I just wanna see if she's okay.

She's never okay.

Come on, she needs time to adjust.

I mean, the girl is sick.

She just lost her mother, for God's sake.

You just lost your wife, you've adjusted.

I'll be right back.

Hey, Jen.

What the...

Jennifer?

- What's the matter?

- Oh.

Sorry.

Jennifer was here.

We have to go look for her.

Look for her where?

I don't know. The fair.

Something is wrong.

I found her heart monitor,

she'd been drinking.

- Right where she wanted you to find it.

- What are you talking about?

She's trying to tear us apart.

Don't you see that?

All I can see is that my daughter is sick

and that she might be in trouble.

So are you coming or not?

No. I'm not.

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