Draft Day Page #4

I chose to coach this team.

Not the team you're puttin'

together in your head, on the fly

'cause your old man died last week

and you're tapping

one of your execs.

What did you just say?

I'm sorry. Is that

supposed to be a secret?

You know, around here, we called

my "old man" Coach Weaver.

And yes, my father died last week.

So the next time you

refer to his name,

next time you say it, at

least, in front of me,

you say it with some goddamn

reverence, because he earned it.

Fair enough?

Keep your legs up now.

Don't even think about it.

Sonny Weaver Jr.

Vontae.

I'm disappointed in

you, Mr. Weaver.

Let me tell you something, Vontae,

and I don't have a lot of time,

so I want you to listen

to me carefully, okay?

- Are you listening?

- Yeah.

Don't Twitter.

For the love of Jesus, just stop.

Delete your profile. Get off the web.

Do not do this to yourself.

I don't know why you

care what I do.

I can do whatever I want. Right?

Of course you can, Vontae,

but every GM in the league

has now read your tweet,

or whatever they call them,

and they've all made a mental

note that Vontae Mack,

however prodigiously talented, is a

guy who likes to talk, all right?

Who likes to spread rumors,

who's more than willing

to announce to the world

any inane thought that

passes through his head.

And be it your God-given

right or not,

Vontae, GM's hate

that sh*t, all right?

We hate it.

You made a mistake, Mr. Weaver.

No, Vontae. I made a deal.

And you're gonna be a

great player in the NFL

if you don't manage

to sabotage yourself

between now and the

end of this day.

Now, now, now, now,

that boy you wanna take,

that there is a mistake, Callahan.

Callahan's a poser.

Yeah.

And what do you know that every

scout and coach on Earth does not?

I know he got sacked

12 times last year.

No. It was 11. It was 11 times.

Yeah, well, four of 'em

were mine. In one game.

Yeah, I remember.

I saw your highlight reel.

I also remember that he beat you.

Watch it again.

Don't watch me. Watch him.

Watch me sack him four

times in one game.

Then watch what happens after.

Watch what happens after what?

Just watch.

Jesus Christ.

Jordan, come here.

Do it like you did it at home.

Yeah! Nice, nice, nice!

'Morning, boss man.

Tony Bagel. How's my

favorite strength coach?

Hey, boss. Boss.

Did you hear about Brian Drew?

No, what about him?

He came in here yesterday,

did a little workout.

Guess how much he squatted?

He's not supposed to be squattin'.

Four hundred!

Four bills! I know!

And what's even more

impressive is his arm.

Your star wide

receiver Andre Bello's

been tellin' me about

those secret workouts

they've been doin'

together all winter.

You know about those?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, Andre thinks Brian can

throw a good 15 yards deeper now.

I didn't believe it until

I saw what he benched.

What did he bench?

He benched 250, 25 times.

Just boom-boom!

Translation, Brian Drew's in

the best shape of his life.

- Good work.

- Yeah!

Let's go for it, boy. C'mon!

Pop it!

Snap it up! Yeah! Nice!

- This one...

- Yeah... Oh my God, she's hot.

I like the one in the red.

She's a babe!

How we doin' on Callahan?

You mean in the

weakness department?

Yeah, well, he has a weakness

for banging hot chicks, Sonny.

I mean, look, he has

a whole website

dedicated to all the

chicks he's smashed.

All right, c'mon.

Somebody's gotta have something.

He doesn't speak French real

good. He got a C-minus.

And he used to bite

his fingernails,

but then wait for it,

now he doesn't anymore.

But, Sonny, really, how

many chicks do you think

a guy like that sleeps with,

per week, on average?

We were thinkin' 20.

Minimum. Minimum.

I say 10.

That's 1.5 per day,

which makes sense.

- 2.5 sounds exorbitant.

- Listen, man.

Speaking as a former college

quarterback myself...

Division II.

I say he averages,

like, three per day.

Right? That's one in the mornin'...

I'm trying very hard

to not completely

lose my sh*t on all

three of you right now,

but you're not makin' it easy.

Sonny, so far, he's still the

best prospect we've ever seen.

Easily, Sonny.

We've been looking, Sonny. I swear.

We couldn't find anything

before and we can't now.

No other team could either.

If Callahan can't play

football, nobody can.

I get it. I get it. But

look, nobody's perfect.

Everybody has something.

Even the great ones. Right?

They said that Montana

was too small,

that he'd get hurt,

he'd get banged up,

but that didn't seem

to matter, did it?

A lot of people said that

Elway was too strong,

that he threw too hard,

didn't have touch,

but that didn't seem to

matter either, did it?

And pretty much everyone agreed

that Peyton didn't

have the arm strength,

that he couldn't throw deep.

But somehow, none of

it seemed to matter.

You get where I'm going here, guys?

We need to find out what Bo

Callahan's "something" is.

Then figure out if

it matters or not.

All right? Figure out if it's

somethin' we can live with.

- We're on it, Sonny.

- All right, Sonny.

Yo, I bookmarked that page.

I really like this

quarter outta Oklahoma.

His Combine scores

were off the charts.

Hey, Sonny.

What's up?

Got a question for you,

Tom. Straight up.

Sure.

Why'd you make the deal?

What?

This morning, for Callahan.

Why did you make that deal?

The same reason you did.

It's the best thing

for my franchise.

What knock did you

find on Callahan?

Bo! We want Bo!

Son of a b*tch.

You all right, Tom?

You seem distracted.

We didn't find anything on him.

I'm sure you guys haven't either.

Come on, I already made the

trade. I'm living with that, Tom.

I'm not gonna hold it against you.

Tom must go!

- Tom must go!

- I'd just appreciate it if you could...

Sonny, I gotta go.

Hey.

I got you Bo Callahan's

scouting reports.

Dave, come here.

Does that look like me?

- What are you doing?

- Just...

I need two seconds with you in

a place that isn't out there.

Okay.

I don't like what's

happening between us.

Seeing you all day,

walk the other way,

watching you drive

away this morning,

it's killing me.

Look, I know I've disappointed you.

And maybe that's not even

a strong enough word.

If I didn't handle, if I

didn't have the right words

that you needed to

hear, then I'm...

Look, Sonny, you don't

need to do this.

Let me finish.

Men are supposed to step up.

And in the middle of

everything that's going on,

I didn't get it right, all right?

I didn't get all gooey.

I didn't jump up and want to know

what color to paint the bedroom,

you know, blue or pink.

And I wish I was one

of those kind of guys

that know how to make

the wallpaper line up.

The Home Depot

Dads-of-the-Year types

that make the rest of

us look like a**holes.

Those guys are not the reason

you look like an a**hole.

So I didn't react the

perfect way this morning.

I shouldn't be penalized for that.

I know that, Sonny.

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