Dragon Hunters

Tim Bowman

I do not fear you,

ugly thing.

My heart is pure

as a fresh water spring.

The Silver Knight Gothic was standing,

facing the terrible skeleton dragon.

That stared at him,

with his big, ugly empty eyes.

With my silver daggers

I shall lop off your head.

Jus ...

Justice will be done only

when you are dead.

The terrible skeleton dragon

stumbled and staggered

and collapsed with an agonizing groan,

that sent shivers down the spine.

The frail King emerged from his hiding place

to congratulate the noble Silver Knight Gothic.

Enough you little pest.

Clean everything up.

But my lord Gildas,

I am playing the "Silver Knight Gothic."

Your uncle, the good lord Arnold,

awaits us for supper.

Still no sign of them, my good lord?

Nothing, Gildas, nothing at all.

I can no longer see, but I am absolutely certain

my faithful knights will never return.

With all due respect, my lord,

you have allowed dispair to overcome you ...

Do you want me to dance a Jig?

Come, come now mi'lord ...

Where are those days of yore when my

castle did shine in all its glory?

Where are my men, my guards,

my five players?

Alas they have all fled, my good lord.

I may be blind, Gildas,

but I am nobodys fool.

It is quite clear that no one wishes to

remain in this fortress.

Who would want to live here,

in fear of the World Gobbler.

Speaking of which, it is night time to send

your niece to a safe haven.

To the convent of the crooked

tooth Sisters.

Ahh Gildas, if only I'dve had a nephew ...

I could have taught him the basic principles

of Dragon hunting.

Oh, yes, please Uncle, that would be so darn neat.

It's not that I would rather have you be a boy,

my little girl, but the fact is you are not one.

Hunting just isn't suitable for little girls.

It's Granion of Bismuth, my uncle.

Granion ...

You're alive!

And the World Gobbler,

have you seen him, have you slain him?

Cease your stupid groaning!

I'll take you late.

Now where are my other loyal knights?

With all due respect, my lord, our faithful

Granion is but a pile of ashes.

- The Smoldering Knights ...

- Another sign, my lord.

Raise the Drawbridge,

lower the Portcullis.

- We've got to get a bigger Knight.

- You, go pack your bags, you're going to the crooked tooth ...

Lock all the doors,

and bring me my battleaxe and sword.

Gildas!

We've got to get the Silver Knight Gothic.

The tail Lian-chu, the tail. Teach him a lesson.

You hear me? Go on!

Hit him in the tail!

Go! Go!

On your feet.

Keep your guard up.

And don't let him barf on you.

Victory.

Okay, fun's over guys.

Let's see, here we go;

Article 3, clause 2: states

Upon receipt of the slain Momularis,

Fat John of Wickashire shall

pay the measly sum of 24 Guinneas

to the valerous dragon hunters.

I do not see any hunters.

All I see is a bevy of clowns.

Walking disaster.

Look what your bonehead there did to my cabbage

patch with his goofball antics.

Fat John of Wickashire, look at me.

Isn't that your x there at the bottom of the contract?

Enough said river rat,

you're gettin' diddly squat.

Do you want to get my muscle bulging

buddy all riled up, is that what you want?

Move out of my fields.

And take the clown with you.

Oooh, the mutt wants his doggy food huh?

Dear me.

Great, I just tore my tights.

What's the matter Gwizdo, are you mad?

You think, that for once

you could take your job seriously?

It is always the same old circus, Lian-chu.

All you do is clown around for the peanut gallery.

But I don't do it on purpose.

And it's a blimey good thing too ...

Why, praytell, do you think these hicks never pay?

Because they've got no money?

No! They rip us off

because you're not credible.

What does credible mean?

- I do not know ...

Take Hector here for example.

Hector, with his big fangs and all that fur,

well, he's credible.

And that's why the hicks are scared of him.

You get it?

You don't get it ...

Look, a dragon hunter who's credible

makes the whole earth shake when he walks.

Right? Like ...

Boom, Boom ...

And if he has to,

he smacks his debtors a couple of times.

Fork over the money!

Get the picture?

Hitting customers,

that's being credible?

Another example ...

Do you think it's credible a dragon hunter

who likes to knit?

But I tore a hole in my ...

You got Mandular boogers on the brain or what?

You knucklehead, knitting is something old ladies do.

It was my mother who taught me.

Look, I'm sorry, I did'nt really mean what I said about knitting

If you want a more credible friend,

why don't you go look for one?

Do not be ridiculous, I could never

find a better friend than you.

- You're just saying that so I won't be angry.

- Stop it.

Who do you want me to hire as a partner?

Fat John of Wickashire?

No way, we're a real team,

me and you.

Yeah, Hector.

The three of us.

Say Gwizdo, you think we'll

have our little farm someday?

Of course we will, you'll see.

A quiet little house on the water.

And we'll have chickens, cows, pigs ...

And we can have sheep.

For the wool.

Yeah, right, and you'll knit me a

shawl and wollen underwear for the winter.

What?

- Electric Dragons.

- This might make some quick cash.

Lian-chu, wait for me!

Whoa!

Silver Knight Gothic.

Uhm, no, it's me ... Lian-chu.

You just saved my life, my ...

Lordy leapin lizards,

two grilled jimbobs for the price of one.

Well, when I say price,

it's just my way of talking, k?

Now we got two jimbob dragons, night terror ...

Got the money on you, kid?

- Umm, no.

- Figures.

But of course your daddys got money, right?

Where are your parents?

They're dead, mister.

Ahh, What misfortune ...

Once again we work for peanuts!

What you been doing in the woods at night,

without a Guinea in your pocket?

Uuh I'm looking for a noble knights

for my uncle, who is very, very rich.

Wait a minute, very, very rich?

You are real knights,

aren't you, my lord?

The knight Lian-chu was hiding

behind the village gates.

The sun was up, bloodthirsty

dragons were attacking from all sides,

The Knight Lian-chu was alone,

you see?

- Alone against all odds.

- And then?

And then, Knight Lian-chu grabs

onto a roof by the tips of his teeth.

- By his teeth?

- Yeah!

And he leaps above the horde holloring ...

And after that, after that, my lord?

After that, Knight

Lian-chu jumps into the crowd,

A smack here -

and a whack there.

Wham bam thank you ma'am,

he ducks, a sword in each hand.

And he sends them all flying with a kick to the butt,

a real massacre.

-Wow

- They took about a whole weekto clear the village.

Whoa, that's ... unreal.

Almost as fabulous as

Silver Knight Gothic.

- Eh, What? Competition?

- Silver Knight Gothic.

The hero of legends.

He also slaps around dragons.

With strength, courage and generous spirit.

Oh yeah?

Well, its kind of like that,

except for the generous part.

One shouldn't believe everything you

read in fairy tales, right kid?

You see, were more of a ...

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