Dream House Nightmare Page #3

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Most people

are amazing.

Took you long enough.

All right.

Bye, baby.

Where are you going?

Where's mine?

Damn it.

Mmm, thank you.

Hey, that's mine.

Okay.

You deserve it.

Pamper the little princess.

I know, Pam!

Damn thing

won't come off.

I can't believe what you

went through today.

They were just

as confused as I was.

I'm just glad you're safe.

Me, too.

Mad.

Mom, how do you

spell "celebrate"?

Hmm?

Madison.

Um, C-E-L...

Madison.

E-B...

Where are my pills?

R-A-T...

Where are my pills?

I don't know.

Don't play games with me.

Destiny, go to your room.

But what comes

after the T?

E. Just go on now.

Pills! Now!

Ethan, no.

Now, you have taken

far too many,

and the doctor said--

The doctor said?

You say!

Do you want to know

what it feels like

to be in constant pain?

Tell me where they are!

In the garbage outside!

Well, all right.

Mom, how do you spell parade?

P-A-R...

A...

D...

E.

Hey! Don't go falling

off that ladder,

because we will not catch you.

Must have cookies!

Oh, so...

Looks nice.

Thank you.

Oh, no. No!

Another one?

What is it this time?

Rhymes with "shildo."

Lucky me.

You know,

I called these guys

twice already,

and all I get

is voice mail.

And this one

came with a bill.

$800?

And the magazines were $200.

How does anyone spend

$1,000 on sex toys?

What are you gonna do?

I've tried calling them.

I've tried sending it back.

I'm not paying

for this crap,

and it's not staying

in my house.

Some poor soul's

gonna miss their porno

this Valentine's.

Not funny.

Hey, are we keeping this one?

Not funny.

Someone is sending these

to us on purpose.

Of course.

It's that woman.

You don't know that.

Oh, who else would it be?

You know, I looked up

her daughter's name.

Destiny, right?

You didn't.

Yeah.

Turns out there's

about 5,000 girls

named Destiny

in New Orleans.

You know,

I was thinking.

We could contact that

real estate agent, Diana?

She would give us her name.

I don't know.

We'd have to tell Diana

the whole story,

but maybe she

would take pity on us.

I don't think

I'd feel comfortable--

Hey!

Oh, my God! Stop!

Stay away

from my wife, you pervert.

No!

What are you talking about?

Stop!

Oh, my God!

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.

You son of a b*tch!

Okay, enough!

You guys have proved yourself

by trying

to be manly here.

That's enough!

That's it!

Please, stop.

Are you okay?

Yeah. He only

hit me by accident.

I know.

I saw.

Do you know

what this is about?

No.

I'm sorry you had

to find out this way.

"Dear sexy neighbor.

I watch you

through the window.

I can't wait

to kiss you.

I want to be inside you."

"Your husband

never has to know.

Come find me when

my fat pig wife isn't around.

Love, Thom"?

What? I didn't write this.

I don't believe you.

Well, I do.

I got one of those letters.

I knew it.

We got one, too.

You got a letter, too?

Signed from me?

Yeah.

All the women

in the neighborhood got one.

Don't try

to play innocent now.

You been caught,

plain and simple.

Both of you hardly

ever come out of your house,

hardly ever talk to anybody.

We're always

wondering what

kind of secrets

y'all got going

on down there,

and now we know.

I'm calling the police.

Yeah!

Okay, yeah, you call!

Call them!

Call the police.

Stop!

None of you know what

we've been going through.

Apparently you've been

gossiping and judging us,

but no one has bothered

to come and actually

ask us to our faces.

Yes, my husband

is gone a lot.

He's an E.R. doctor

and he's busy saving lives.

He's a good man.

And it's true I keep

to myself, but I'm shy.

It's just how I am.

But someone

has been harassing us

and sending us

horrible things,

trying to hurt us.

Someone sent

men in the house

to frighten her.

They smashed up

our porch and left

a threatening note.

And you,

you've been watching

our every move apparently.

It could be you.

You could be trying

to drive us out

of the neighborhood.

Oh, we gave you gumbo!

We don't know

who it is,

but it's someone

that is willing to scare you

and hurt us

to get us out.

This isn't

our first baby,

but it's the only baby

that we have alive,

and I'm just so scared

that they're gonna hurt us.

Oh, honey,

that's not gonna happen.

Someone been threatening y'all?

Well, they sent us

all this crap

and stuck us

with the bill,

and they've been

scaring Theresa

and smashing up her plants.

They stole

the back door key.

We had to change the locks.

I'm sorry.

I don't know

what else to say.

Oh, honey, I guess we need

to get to know y'all better.

We'd like

to open our home to you

for a party.

We want to invite you

to a party at our house

Saturday night.

I, uh...

No, honey.

I'll help you plan food.

Great. Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

This is Theresa.

I'm Thom.

Nice to meet you.

Hi, guys.

Bye, guys.

See you at the party.

Yeah, have a good night.

Good night.

Well, it looks like

we're going to a party.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Just

a little embarrassed.

And Eddie has

a good right hook.

What if

it's one of them?

Then this is

a perfect way

to find out.

You calling

that real estate agent?

Yeah.

Ow.

What the hell

you been doing?

I was just, uh, making

Mardi Gras decorations

for Destiny's class.

What'd it look

like I was doing?

Been looking

through your phone.

Your search history

ain't exactly kid friendly.

Look. Go on. Look.

Stop.

I'm not man enough for you.

Is that it?

No.

Sex toys, lingerie, porno.

I know you ain't ordering

that stuff for me.

You ain't

touched me in months.

You been on your phone,

disappearing for hours.

Who is he?

It's not what you think.

Who is he?

His name is Thom Wade,

and he's a--he's a doctor.

He lives in the house

that we wanted to buy.

And if you loved me,

you'd beat him up.

You cheating b*tch.

Stop it!

Don't hit Mama.

Don't hit Mama.

Don't hit Mama.

Ooh, what you got?

Uh, crudits.

What?

Vegetables?

Oh.

We like

our vegetables fried.

Oh.

So, you having

a boy or a girl?

We don't know yet.

Oh, I know.

Y'all are

gonna have one of those

gender reveal parties?

That's so fun.

I guess, um,

the birth will be

the gender reveal.

Oh.

How old-fashioned.

Would you

excuse me a minute?

I'm not feeling so well.

Must be the nicest house

on the block.

Of course.

Leave it

to a couple of transplants

to come

and snatch it up.

Hey, there.

How are you holding up?

I'm fine.

Thanks for all your help.

I guess

you really didn't enjoy

your very first

Mardi Gras parade, did you?

I'm just jumpy lately.

We've been trying

to figure out

who's behind

all this craziness.

We called a couple

of the local schools

with special ed programs

for a student named Destiny,

but I knew

they wouldn't tell us anyway.

You know, I've also

been thinking what if

it's not that woman.

It could be anyone...

even someone here.

Oh, honey, people been living

in this neighborhood

for years.

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