Dreamcatcher Page #3

Beaver?

In here.

Thank you for taking me in.

Thank you both.

- Sh*t, anybody would have.

- Maybe. Maybe not.

All right, this is in case

you have to urk...

...if you can'st get to the bathroom,

which is the third door to your left.

If you go in the first,

you'sll take a sh*t in the closet.

If you need anything, we'sre outside.

F*** me, give me some air!

We got any gas masks handy?

We need a biohazard team in here.

- Wanna hear what'sll freak you out more?

- Not really.

You know his huge stomach?

When he got here, his stomach was

normal, but his chest was out to here!

I wish Henry was here.

He's a shrink, not an internist.

He went to med school.

Did you?

I thought about it.

You better get a run at it.

- Sh*t!

- Watch it!

What the hell?

- Pete, are you okay?

- No, I broke my leg! Man, my damn leg!

Okay. Hang on. Hang on a second.

- I'sm caught! I can'st...

- God!

- God.

- Henry! A little help here!

Hang on, Pete. Hang on.

- Okay. Here comes the seat belt.

- I just opened that beer.

I got you.

How's your leg?

Well, it ain'st broken.

It's just locked up, is all.

You don'st suppose

he got exposed to radiation?

I saw that once in a movie. Guy ended

up bald as Telly what's-his-f***.

This guy's got plenty of hair. But that

red mark got bigger while I watched it.

- What are you doing?

- Peanut butter calms me down.

- Somebody else might want to use that.

- I'sll leave some.

Beav.

Beaver.

Criminettlies!

I think it's a woman.

I ought to warn you.

I'sm gonna strangle this broad.

- I'sd guess she's already dead.

- I'sll strangle her anyway.

She almost got us both killed.

Hello! Here we come, ma'sam.

Don'st be startled.

Hello?

Forget it, H. She's gone.

Hello!

Ma'sam, can you hear me?

Are you okay? Can you hear me?

I wonder if maybe that's how

they say hello around here.

Listen, Miss Road Kill,

you almost got us dead.

Say something.

I have to find Rick.

- Okay.

- Rick.

Yeah.

F*** me, Freddy.

- What's all that red stuff on their fur?

- Just like McCarthy's cheek.

- I never saw anything like this before.

- Even the bears look scared.

- Of what? Where are they going?

- It's not where that worries me...

...it's what are they running away from?

What the hell?

This could be perfect.

They can get Stinky to a hospital.

Hey, you guys!

- We need help! Got a sick guy inside!

- This area is under temporary quarantine.

- Stay where you are.

- What quarantine?

- We got a sick guy down here!

- We need your help here!

- We got a real sick guy here!

- Take him with you now!

Glad you're okay. This situation

will be resolved in 24 to 48 hours.

Kiss my bender!

I gotta ask you, old buddy.

Because I'sm confused.

- Is this SSDD or not?

- Definitely not.

Different sh*t today, Pete.

And a pretty weird day so far,

if you want to know.

Over here.

There you go.

Easy.

It's nine miles to Hole in the Wall.

I think I can manage it.

I'sll bring the snowmobile back

and get you both.

Now, Pete, you listen to me.

Don'st go back to the car for beer.

- Stay with her. Keep her warm.

- Right hand to God, Dr. D.

Henry!

If we die before you get back...

...promise you'sll tell everybody

she wasn'st my date.

I'sm telling you, Jonesy,

I don'st like this at all.

This is turning into a double fuckarow.

A real jobba-nobba.

- Rick, you okay?

- I'sm a little sick, fellas.

- I just need to make a little room.

- McCarthy, Rick, open up, man.

- Go away!

- Open the door or we break it down.

- Can'st a man have some privacy?

- Rick, where are you bleeding from?

Bleeding? I'sm not bleeding.

- Let's do it.

- I'sm not positive I wanna go in there.

What if he's dying? Scooby-Dooby-Doo,

we got some work to do now.

On three. Ready?

One... Two...

Hold it!

What if we just bounce off?

- No bounce, no play.

- Right. No bounce, no play.

One...

And a two... Three!

Oh, f***! Oh, man!

F***!

I don'st want to see this!

I can'st see this.

- Shut up a minute. Mr. McCarthy? Rick?

- Is he still alive?

I don'st know. Rick?

Rick, are you...?

Oh, man! Jonesy, if he can still do that,

he must be alive.

Can you hear me?

I think he's dead.

Bullshit! He dropped a clinker!

I heard it.

- I don'st think that was a clinker.

- That's enough, snap out of it!

- Oh, my God!

- My God!

- No!

- No?

Good move! It's trapped.

Got nowhere to go but the septic tank.

Oh, sh*t!

- Listen, we'sre gonna change places.

- What?

- One of us is gonna go to the shed.

- No way!

Shut up and listen!

There's friction tape there.

You go get it, come back.

We'sll tape the lid down.

Then we'sre gonna get the hell

out of here!

- You get the tape, Jonesy.

- Don'st be brave, Beav.

You'sre faster than me.

I'sll sit on Thumper.

No, if it does get out, you can'st fight it.

Not with your hip.

Oh, my God!

Goddamn it! Go!

- And Beav?

- Yeah?

Sit tight, buddy.

Okay.

All right. Okay.

Sh*t! Earth to Jonesy!

Come in, Jonesy!

Jonesy. Jonesy.

Calm down now. Okay.

Okay.

Okay, here it is. Okay.

Find the damn tape!

Where is it?

Coming, Beav!

Beaver! Beav!

I got the... What the...?

Jonesy, get out of here!

Beaver.

- Get out! Shut the door!

- No.

Run, Jonesy.

You killed him.

You killed Beaver.

You killed him, you f***!

What do you want?

The men call the red stuff Ripley,

after the broad in the Alien movies.

We eradicate the animals

as they flee the Blue Zone.

And the populace?

We'sre bringing civilians to Gosselin's.

We'sll detain them till we figure this out.

And, Owen? This time the ETs belong

to you. That's right, bucko.

- You'sll be Blue Boy leader.

- Finally.

- How many left?

- About a hundred.

Yeah. Not nearly enough

for a serious incursion.

My guess is,

it's a crash-landing.

They'sve never picked terrain

like this before or cold weather.

What's your call?

The biggest threat

is them getting out of our net.

Crash-landing or not...

...they'sll try to get out

and spread the infection.

I always say they never visited a world

they wouldn'st rather own.

They'sre up to their old tricks.

Using a standard grayboy look...

...with the innocent doggy eyes

and smooth baby-butt skin.

They project what they think

we want to see.

But I'sve had a look at the real thing. You

wouldn'st want it marrying your sister.

- Difference of opinion about the Ripley.

- Really? Who has an opinion?

- Who do you think?

- General Matheson.

- Three-star General Matheson.

- Three?

- When did you see him?

- They called me in yesterday.

What's the opinion

of those enlightened cocksuckers...

...who'sve never been near an ET?

They say the fungus doesn'st take hold

in all victims. Some of them get over it.

Really?

And what about the sh*t weasels?

The ones blasting out

the basement door?

Does Matheson think

folks get over one of those puppies?

Their theory is, they only grow in a small

percentage of the exposed population.

Do you like that theory, bucko?

I think it's crap.

So if you thought someone

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