Dreams of a Life Page #2

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I'm sure they can find some way

of finding out what really happened.

I think there's more to it

than meets the eye.

You'd probably never find out

the true story of it.

It'd be another JFK all the way.

'I was working late one evening.'

I was friendly with her

and she came round and said,

"Do you want to go out for a drink?"

And I said, "Yeah, all right, then."

Didn't really read anything into it.

She seemed very fond of him

but they were a very unlikely pairing.

Very unlikely.

I had no idea

she was attracted to me at all.

And...

And then I actually developed,

you know, a love for her.

'And one day I said,

'Would you like to go to this hunt ball?"

'She seemed a bit hesitant at first

and I thought, 'Well, that's strange.

"'I thought she was attracted to me."

'I think it was something to do

with leaving the confines of London

'where she was quite happy.'

I think Martin rolled in in his car

that he'd completely written off

on the way down.

It was just...

He had a little cut on his head.

And she turned up

later than everybody else

wearing this dress,

this sort of powder-blue rubber dress.

The one moment that will stick

in everybody's mind

was the first time everybody saw her

when Martin brought her out.

"I'm bringing this girl I work with."

We'd heard about her.

She turns up,

she's got a spray-on dress.

And you go, "You jammy bastard."

# If you should see me

# And I'm smiling

# Don't think my smile

# Is for real #

'Martin will kill me for saying this,

'but we were all a bit shocked

'that Martin was going out

with someone quite so stunning.'

'I was astounded.

Absolutely astounded.

We couldn't believe he could end up

with somebody like that.

'But no, she was lovely

and she quite clearly adored him.'

'I was really chuffed

to go out with her.'

I know everyone liked her,

you know.

More than just liked. Fancied her.

'It's an ego trip, isn't it

for any bloke

'if they've got an attractive girlfriend

that everyone else likes.'

'Petite and yet, you know,

a good figure.'

Small feet, I should imagine.

'Great hair, lovely eyes,

'well manicured hands.

'Yeah, pleasing.'

'Maybe my heart

was autter as well.

'I secretly fancied her,

like we all did.

'She was lovely.

Some people are like that.

'Some people are annoyingly happy.'

And other people are just nicely happy.

When you talk to them, they lift you.

'I just can't imagine her

dying alone.

'It was kind of prophetic because

she always felt that she would.'

'It might have been the asthma,

that she could have passed like that.'

'She might have been happy to pass.

Maybe she weren't happy with her life.'

'If you get really bad asthma

you can't move.

'She wasn't terribly good

at taking those Ventolin puffers,

'which she really should

have been doing more often.'

'She used to get pains.

'One night she collapsed.

She was in a lot of pain.

'She had some serious abdominal pain.

'She had ulcers at the time

and didn't know.'

'I was wondering

whether that was stress-related

considering where she was.

'She might have wanted

to just cease to exist from people.

She might be embarrassed

of where she was living.

'She might have wanted

to just be left alone.

'She might not have wanted

to contact her family.'

'She was always

the centre of attraction.

'People would always

gravitate towards her.

'She was like a magnet.'

'She looked like she'd had a good

education from the way she spoke.'

I don't know

what kind of education she had.

'I'd have thought

she was educated at a nice school,

'a sort of colonial school.'

'It was just a nice school,

pleasant to go to, pleasant people.'

It was just friendly, playing.

Happy times for everybody.

Whether the weather be cold,

whether the weather be hot,

we'll be together,

whatever the weather,

whether we like it or not.

'Joyce's mother

had elocution lessons for her

'and she had quite a posh voice, really.

'I think when people met her,

they were a little bit taken aback.'

'I just suddenly started

to hear her voice.'

And the sound of it,

cos I'd actually forgotten.

Very soft.

Very clear, well spoken.

'Not common.'

'But not sort of posh.

It was just nice.'

'They taught her to walk,

taught her to speak.

'Everything was very nice

but not in a kind of contrived way.

'You didn't feel like

she was putting it on.'

She was relaxed in that position,

but she was very comfortable.

And she was striking in that way.

She definitely wanted

something more out of life,

whether it was to be somebody

or to have somebody.

I would imagine

she was coming from somewhere,

trying to get to somewhere.

The best way she knew how is,

"I need to look good.

"I have my features.

I have my brains."

Joyce never let on how clever she was.

'I think she was a very bright girl,

but she just played it down.'

'French, grade three.'

Nature studies, grade five.

Social studies, grade four.

Grade E... So she didn't have

any GCSEs or A-levels?

She gave the impression

she was very well educated, yeah.

I'm not saying that

I had great conversations with her

about, you know,

what the meaning of life is

or anything like that.

'I always put her

in the same class as the rest of us,

'which is, what, middle class.

'She kept up with the rest of us

'which is why no one ever suspected

she was any different to the rest of us.'

And Maths ungraded as well.

Maths is ungraded as well, yeah.

That's quite amazing.

- Considering the area of work.

I mean, that is quite

something else really.

'Maybe she wasn't good at exams.

'She never came across as somebody

that was not academically clever.'

I think she said

she was something in finance

and I just kind of thought,

"Oh, I thought you were a secretary."

'She had a really responsible job.'

'Well, she worked

in the treasury department

'so she was involved with moving

the company's money around, really,

'and just putting money out on deals.'

We're not just talking

small amounts.

We're talking about millions of pounds.'

She wasn't throwing money around.

'I mean, she liked to go out

and have a meal, buy a few clothes.

'Nothing spectacular.

'I can't ever remember her

spending money on a holiday.'

'She was very independent.

'Didn't rely on men.

'I know a lot of women

who just make a living off that.'

She just reminded me

of somebody that...

I suppose somebody

that I would like to be, almost.

Because I can be a bit scatty

in my dressing and getting myself ready

and everything about her

was just immaculate.

'Obviously she used to get

a lot of male attention.

'Because she was a lovely person.

She was a bubbly person.

'She was a very well liked person.'

I've got a really kind of special memory

of her at the Christmas party,

'She wore this most beautiful dress.'

'She was always well turned out.

She always turned quite a few heads.'

She did, yeah.

- Certainly at that party.

'Joyce being Joyce,

she'd had a couple of drinks.

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