Dry Rain

[]

[Dad:
]

What?

[Joey:
]

Just let me talk to her!

[Dad:
]

Hold on!

Would you hold on

one second!

[Joey:
]

Then tell her it's okay!

I'm okay Mom!

[Dad:
]

I can't hear you, Tracy.

Just say what you said again,

repeat that.

Well.

Well you do owe me.

Well I had a life with you,

you owe me for that.

[BANG]

[Joey:
]

What?

What?

[Dad:
SIGHS]

[Joey:
]

What?

You're saying what?

[Dad:
] Joey, come on,

get out of the road.

[Joey:
]

Virga.

[Dad:
]

What?

[Joey:
] Virga,

that's what it's called.

When the rain

doesn't reach the ground.

[Dad:
] Aww

that's just dry rain.

It's depressing as hell.

[Joey:
] So,

what did Mom say?

[Dad:
]

Well how would I know.

Couldn't hear a thing

with all your hollering.

Might have been a wrong number

for all I could tell.

[Joey:
] So,

what did she say?

[Dad:
] There something

you didn't tell me,

something wrong

with your ears?

You can't hear so good

because your brain got so big?

[Joey:
]

I hear everything.

[Dad:
] Oh yeah?

[Joey:
] Yeah.

[Dad:
] What do you say,

let's get something to eat.

What do you think

they eat around here?

[Joey:
]

Grass?

[Dad:
]

Grass!

People eat grass?

[Joey:
]

If theyre hungry enough.

[Dad:
]

We're rich.

[Joey:
]

What?

[Dad:
] Hey,

put that away.

Emm... do you take

American money here?

[Waitress:
]

This is America too.

[Dad:
]

U.S.?

[Waitress:
] Sure.

Straight across.

[Dad:
] But...

but the exchange of...

[BANG]

[Joey:
]

What?

[Dad:
] He's... emm...

he's had a big day.

We'll take a burger.

[Waitress:
]

And the boy?

[Dad:
] Emm...

we'll split it.

Take it easy.

Mom might have

misunderstood all this.

[Joey:
] Mom might have

warrants out for us.

[Dad:
] Well that's why

we gotta play it cool.

And you gotta stop acting

like such a nut case.

[Joey:
] Now,

you were saying what?

[Dad:
]

Parrot.

F***ing Mynah bird.

Sorry.

I'm going to make

a call after lunch.

[Dad:
SIGHS]

Try to find a

phone booth that wasn't

personally installed

by Thomas Edison.

[Joey:
] Alexander Graham Bell.

[Dad:
] Huh?

[Joey:
]

Alexander Graham Bell.

He invented the telephone.

[Dad:
]

Whoever.

[Waitress:
]

Anything else?

[Waitress:
]

Water is free.

[Dad:
]

Thanks.

[Joey:
] How much are you

trying to get for me?

[Dad:
] I told you,

it's not like that, Joey.

[Joey:
] Dad,

you come to Montana,

wait for me

outside school,

we cross into Canada,

you call Mom

three times,

you never call Mom.

[Dad:
]

Eat your burger.

[Joey:
]

I like cheese.

[Dad:
]

Fabulous.

Waitress?

Ma'am?

He'd like cheese on his.

[Waitress:
]

On just the half...

[Dad:
]

He's on vacation.

[Waitress:
]

Anything else?

[Dad:
SIGHS]

[Joey:
]

Melted!

This is like gangsters,

Mom would kill me for this.

[Dad:
]

Just take it easy

before the Mounties

surround us.

What?

Could happen.

[Dad:
SIGHS]

I'm gonna make a call.

[Joey:
]

About the money?

We should rob a bank.

[Dad:
] You like

living in that house,

up there

in the big sky?

The place is so big,

you'd think

you need a map

to find the front door.

[Joey:
]

You cased the house?

[Dad:
] I didn't case it,

I just...

I watched you.

Saw you go to school.

[Joey:
]

You tailed me?

[Dad:
] So you like

living in that mansion?

Like it up there?

Tracy is a...

emm...

you know,

your new err...

lawyer.

He treat you all right?

[Joey:
]

He's okay.

Not as bad as you think.

[Dad:
] What makes

you think I think it's bad?

[Joey:
]

You hate lawyers.

[Joey:
SIGHS]

We're in Canada Dad

and making ransom calls.

[Dad:
] Now God damn it,

there, Joey.

I told you

I didn't kidnap you.

That's not how it is.

I mean, you're my kid!

We're supposed to do

stuff like this, it's good for you.

[Joey:
] You didn't

even get visitation Dad.

[Dad:
] Only lawyers

worry about that crap.

[Joey:
]

Lawyers and cops.

[Dad:
]

Same difference.

[Dad:
SIGHS]

Do you ever

play with tar

when the sun

bubbles it up.

[Joey:
]

What kind of bubbles?

[Dad:
]

Tar, you know!

You push on it

until an air bubble

gets trapped

underneath it and then

blows up

like a miniature volcano.

Maybe not.

Let's keep moving.

[Joey:
] You suppose

Mounties really

wear those

goofy red uniforms?

[Dad:
]

I got no idea.

[Joey:
]

A hundred thousand at least.

Well I'm worth it,

right?

[Dad:
] You're not kidnapped.

Jesus!

[Joey:
]

Then take me home.

[Dad:
] We're on vacation,

all right?

[Mom:
]

Vacation my ass!

You wanna know what

the FBI thinks of that story?

[Dad:
]

Hey, Trace.

[Mom:
] You're talking

to them right now!

Every call

is being recorded.

What in the world

are you doing in Canada?

[Dad:
] I just want

what's coming to me Tracy.

[Mom:
] Coming to you,

for what? Child support?

[Dad:
] Well,

vacations aren't cheap.

[Mom:
] Oh, you're broke,

aren't you?

[Dad:
]

Look, Tracy!

We ain't got enough

money to get home.

You didn't call cops,

did you? I mean...

FBI.

[Mom:
] Just bring him back.

Think of him, would you?

[Joey:
] We're having fun Mom,

I am!

[Dad:
]

He's enjoying himself.

[Mom:
] For God's sake,

Stil!

[Dad:
] I mean he is, he really is!

You should see him!

[Mom:
]

That's all I want!

[Dad:
]

Me too.

[Mom:
] Bring him back

and this is over, Stil.

Just another one

of your great ideas.

But I swear to God, if you ever

pull a stunt like this...

[Dad:
] All right now,

hold on there, Trace!

I had a life.

This is

eye for an eye time.

[Mom:
]

What?

[Dad:
] Come on kid!

We're hitting the bricks.

[Joey:
]

Is he tracing the calls?

Are they closing in?

[Dad:
]

When aren't they?

Vacation, Joey!

They don't trace calls

for a vacation.

[Joey:
]

Dad?

Hello?

[Dad:
]

Yeah yeah I know.

You just

don't understand this.

[Joey:
]

Then tell me.

[Dad:
] I don't

understand it either.

[]

[Dad:
]

It's nice up here.

Smells good.

[Joey:
]

It's the conifers.

Pine, spruce,

fir, hemlock,

cedar...

[Dad:
SNIFFS]

[Dad:
] Smells like

one of those car deodorizers.

How'd you like that...

living in a place,

that smells like

a giant Christmas tree

hanging off your dash.

[CHUCKLES]

[Joey:
]

Where do you live now, dad?

[Dad:
] Aww...

near where we used to live.

[Joey:
]

In the desert?

[Dad:
]

On the edge.

[Joey:
]

Never smells like this.

[Dad:
]

No.

Nothing like this.

[]

[Dad:
] Do you

ever miss Arizona?

[Joey:
]

Mom calls it Bedrock.

[Dad:
]

Bedrock?

[Joey:
]

Yeah!

Like in the Flintstones.

[Dad:
] Great! Our whole lifes

turned into a cartoon.

[]

[Dad:
SIGHS]

[Dad:
]

Are you ten yet?

[Joey:
]

Almost.

[Dad:
] So,

what do you think?

[Joey:
]

What do you mean?

[Dad:
] Well,

I mean I... emm...

driving all over Canada

with a freaking genius

and I'm trying to figure out

everything on my own.

[Joey:
] I'm not smart

about everything.

[Dad:
]

Sure, you are.

That school you go to,

that's a

genius factory

if I ever saw one.

[Joey:
]

School?

[Dad:
] Man,

your mom and me.

We had some knock down

drag outs about that.

You know I just wanted you

to be a normal kid.

And she was like

accelerated this

and accelerated that.

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