Du Barry Was a Lady Page #8

Pull it out! Pull it out, will you?

Take it easy, sire,

the doctor will be here any minute.

He has a wonderful reputation.

Never mind his reputation,

has he got a pair of pliers?

Oh, my little back. My little back.

- The doctor will be here any minute, sire.

- Is he any good?

He's the best backfield man

in all of France, sire.

- He'll have you on your feet in no time.

- Oh, that's...

I can get on my feet now.

When can I get on my back?

Here comes Dr. Pull it now.

Good morning, good morning,

good morning.

I'm sorry to be late,

but I saved a man's life this morning.

He was sick and sent for me,

but I didn't go.

Now, what's troubling

my little man this morning?

I got a sharp pain in my back.

Guess what it is?

We'll find out. Stick out your tongue.

Further. Further. Further.

It's hooked on back there.

What do you want me to do?

Lay it on the floor?

No, the floor is dirty.

How do you sleep at night?

Sometimes like this,

and then sometimes...

What do you care how I sleep?

Get that thing out, will you?

It's been picking up

radio programs all day.

That's it. Liver.

It's your liver, all right.

If it is, it's protruding.

Just as I thought,

too many white corpuscles.

Dye them, brother, dye them.

- Now, when did you feel this coming on?

- I didn't. It kind of snuck up on me.

- Well, don t worry. We'll pull through.

- Yeah, I might, but you won't.

Here, take one of these morning and night.

What do you think I am,

a pinball machine?

What about that jumbo splinter?

Oh, that.

That's nothing.

- A little anemic, too.

- What'll I do now?

Just put a beefsteak on it.

Beefsteak?

Be brave, my friend.

You are dying for your country.

Yeah, but I was born in the city.

Louis, stop it. Stop it, you must stop it.

I'm not doing anything.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Louis, I implore you. Please save his life.

Who, the Black Arrow? Why?

Because I love him.

I don't get it.

Here I've been squandering jewels

and palaces on you.

All the time he's been plotting

against the both of us,

and you fall for him.

I can't help it. I love him.

What's he got that I wish I had,

and how can I get it?

Get your daily chopping guide here.

Get a program.

You can't tell which head is which

without a program.

Get your daily chopping guide.

Get a program.

- Oh, hurry, Louis, there's no time to lose.

- I can't do it.

If I pardon him, I'm left holding the bag,

while he's holding you.

Oh, if you spare his life,

I swear I'll never see him again.

- Oh, gonna meet him in the dark, huh?

- Oh, please, Louis, let him live.

I'll do anything you want.

- All right, I'll do it.

- Oh, thank you, Louis.

But 200 years from now,

history books will say,

"King Louis was screwy. "

- Quick. The knife will drop in a minute.

- I'll save him if it takes a week.

One moment, sire.

Yes?

Eave-drooping, huh?

I would rather the little affair

went on just as scheduled.

But I've got to save the Black Arrow.

Du Barry may kill herself.

Let her. If I can't have her,

no one else will.

Now, wait a minute, bub.

You're talking to My Majesty,

King of France.

And you're talking

to the best swordsman in Europe.

En garde.

En garde.

Well, what do you...

Darling, do not lose courage.

Wait, the King is coming to free him.

Please. Please, hear me.

The King says he shall live.

You know, a thing like this

is liable to stunt your growth.

Help! Help!

Stop it! Stop it!

Help! Stop it! Stop it!

Help! Help!

Stop it! Stop it!

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

That's okay.

He's lapsing back to abnormal now.

Grab him. Grab him. He's trying to kill me.

Why, what's the matter with you, Louis?

Don't you know me? I'm Willie.

You are? What happened?

That mickey you got

must have been tainted.

Hey, where have I been?

Right here in my arms.

No wonder I had a nightmare.

- Here, have a drink.

- No, thank you. Oh, no.

The last drink you gave me

set me back 200 years.

Oh, what a dream I had.

I dreamed I was

the greatest lover in all France.

But, folks,

I want you to meet the real champ.

- Louis, you're a prince.

- I used to be a king.

- You still are, Louis.

- Nah.

I found out you can't buy love. I know.

But I can buy you kids a wedding present.

$10,000.

Oh, no, Louis.

Thanks, but you hold onto it.

No, I got plenty left.

I only bought a ring,

a car and some war bonds.

No, we want to start out broke, Louis.

Then anything that happens to us

will be an improvement.

But I still have $80,000.

- How much?

- $80,000.

I'm from the Income Tax Department.

This will just about cover

the tax you owe on your winnings.

Suppose I take it now.

It'll save you a stamp.

- Well, wait a...

- Of course, there's still the state tax.

- You'll have to sell your car

to cover that. - Oh.

There, sir, is your receipt.

- Well, at least I got a nickel left.

- Oh, hoarding, eh?

Louis, you can use this now.

No, no, that's a friendship ring,

and nothing's ever

gonna break up our friendship.

All right. We'll always be pals, huh?

If you ever need anything, just SOS?

Gee, thanks, May.

If you're ever in a jam, here I am

If you ever need a pal, I'm your gal

If you ever feel so happy

that you land in jail, I'm your bail

It's friendship, friendship

Just a perfect blendship

When other friendships have been forgot

Ours will still be hot

If you're ever in a mess, SOS

If you ever make a flop, call for Pop

If you ever take a boat

and get lost at sea, write to me

It's friendship, friendship

Just a perfect blendship

When other friendships have been forget

Ours will still be it

If you're ever down a well, ring my bell

If you're ever up a tree, phone to me

If you ever lose your teeth

when you're out to dine, borry mine

Thank you

It's friendship, friendship

Just a perfect blendship

When other friendships have ceased to gel

Ours will still be swell

You know, Ginny,

I never appreciated you till now.

- Can we still be friends?

- Absolutely not.

If they ever black your eyes, put me wise

If they ever cook your goose,

turn me loose

If they ever put a bullet

through your brain, I'll complain

It's friendship, friendship

Just a perfect blendship

When other friendships go up in smoke

Ours will still be ok

Good evening, friends

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